We've actually gotten better musically over the years, ... But we've come to realize that we will never be good.

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.

Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck through an inner tube.