We're an American Legion post, so we're emphasizing the red, white and blue. But we're also using lavender and silver balloons to acknowledge our connection with the community.
Mark Leno
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face. CLARE BOOTHE LUCE A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American. "Our flag is sy... UNKNOWN The Cravens were a vital part of our city, county and state for many years. They truly left an indel... MARY STEIGER There is always a need for more money so we can help people. The money raised goes into a general fu... ARNIE EARL The real reason Jews don't have more Hanukkah music is that, historically, American Jewish singe... MATISYAHU Our flag is red, white and blue, but our nation is a rainbow -- red, yellow, brown, black and white ... JESSE JACKSON Our flag is red, white and blue, but our nation is a rainbow-red, yellow, brown, black and white-and... JESSE JACKSON Magic has always been an element of Witchcraft, but in the Craft its techniques were practiced withi... STARHAWK I was surprised when a white glow covered the table. The quantum dots were supposed to emit blue lig... MICHAEL BOWERS We have a height advantage so our guards were throwing the ball over the top and our post players we... JESSICA DAVENPORT While we are pleased with the level of post-petition financing we were able to obtain, we must stop ... EDWARD BASTIAN When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the ... SHEL SILVERSTEIN When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the ... SHEL SILVERSTEIN Stadiums started to paint seats red, white and blue. And instead of advertisements on the outfield w... LARRY HARTZELL The deaf people there with balloons, holding them up and feeling the vibrations of the balloons to t... JACK BOULWARE With the White Stripes we were trying to trick people into not realising we were playing the blues. ... JACK WHITE Real patriots are the women who witnessed their assaulter claim dominion over red, white, and blue a... BRITT GREIFELD It was pretty neat. At the state tournament, they also got the sportsmanship award, which was the fi... JOHN ARAGON In Bosnia, the case was there were white, blond-haired, blue-eyed Muslims who were being slaughtered... MAAJID NAWAZ I'm also still with the American Legion after 37 years. They put me on the color guard so I have to ... CLETE OAKS When the light turns green, you go.When the light turns red, you stop.But what do you do when the li... SHEL SILVERSTEIN The idea is to believe me... but as far as I see the world... to believe is a sin... to trust me one... DEYTH BANGER silver screen theme. It's black and white formal with lipstick red to pull it all together. TOM FULLER Our wedding colors were red and gold. LINDA HALE His steady gaze held hers. His blue eyes were very dark, uniquely so. She had known people before wi... CASSANDRA CLARE Larry had brought me blue jeans, a red polo shirt, jogging socks, my white Nikes, an extra cross fro... LAURELL K. HAMILTON Most of our teachers were white, and the songs that they taught us were white, so when we first star... CLARENCE FOUNTAIN The sea was our main entertainment. When company came, we set them before it on rugs, with thermoses... SYLVIA PLATH The people like the American Legion Post that gave us a chance to play. A place to play and a chance... DAVE WINFIELD The location managers for Underworld 2 were scouting our tank while we were using it and were schedu... COLE HAUSER From the U.S. Capitol Building to the White House, our national symbols that represent freedom to so... GARY ACKERMAN The projects in Oakland that we've built have been the most diverse projects of any place in the Bay... MIKE GHIELMETTI We were born to unite with our fellow men, and to join in community with the human race. CICERO The studio moguls were certainly bigger-than-life figures, but they were also tough and unforgiving ... MICHAEL KORDA The troops aren't red and blue. They're not black and white. They're not male and female... TAMRON HALL We picked three-man so we could spray their helmets red, white and blue, for America. BRANDI BROWN Most of the cases are people who were using either GHB recreationally or they were people who were u... DEBORAH ZVOSEC Our 5-0 was the silver bracket at (the St. Charles Classic on March 25). We were proud to be 5-0, bu... GLYNDA RICE After a year of post-graduate research, I won an 1851 Exhibition scholarship to work at Oxford with ... JOHN CORNFORTH If the Nuremberg laws were applied, then every post-war American president would have been hanged. NOAM CHOMSKY American is a good team. It was a very even game. I thought they were actually more dangerous after ... BRIAN TOMPKINS There were search warrants executed today in connection with an ongoing criminal investigation, BRYAN SIERRA If the Nuremberg laws were applied today, then every Post-War American president would have to be ha... AVRAM NOAM CHOMSKY The conquistadors and their followers were very rough people, and they were fixated on gold and silv... PETER SHAFFER I had a dream about you last night... You turned red, then green, and then blue. You told me you wer... AMY SOMMERS Mark began the appointment process back in the fall. This is just a huge honor, and we were all very... JASON STANLEY I made my first white women friends in college; they loved me and were loyal to our friendship, but ... ALICE WALKER I was red, white and blue before it was cool. CINDY YOUNG So, I looked up, and we were in this giant dome like a glass snowball, and Mark said that the amazin... STEPHEN CHBOSKY It was simple reality - most competitive tennis players in my day were privileged, spoiled, entitled... ANNE LAMOTT Our ultimate goal was for Raquel to get pregnant, so we were very excited about that. I've been thro... TASHA RIDDLE We were slapping each other's backs so hard we were red raw. RICKY GERVAIS Units were coming to combat with DCGS because it was their tool kit, so to speak, but they basically... MICHAEL T. FLYNN Whenever you pull on the red, white and blue, it's a great feeling, AL MONTOYA Tommy's place in fashion history is that he's synonymous with classic American style. He's the guy w... CINDI LEIVE Tommy's place in fashion history is that he's synonymous with classic American style, ... He's the g... CINDI LEIVE When they formed, they were either red-hot or white-hot and we found them in the Siberia of the sola... DONALD BROWNLEE The team the last couple of years, when we were successful, we were blue collar, and when we weren't... LORENZO ROMAR So the laughs had to come from the character, not because we had balloons in our shirts or were spea... KEVIN MCDONALD We were shocked and proud for our community. ANTHONY GIBSON They were probably so thrilled to beat up on the Post that they weren't too careful about what his m... JARED PAUL STERN They were either red-hot or white-hot grains, and yet we collected them in a comet, the Siberia of t... DR. DON BROWNLEE They were going really well, but Dr. Basit wanted an American headquarters, an American presence. BILL MCILVAIN Sebastian's eyes were the color of smoke and silver. His pale skin, raven hair, and naturally dark r... KELLY KEATON Our pitchers were okay. It's tough when both teams are using so many pitchers. KRIS DOOREY I thought that righteous people were the types that liked rules for the sake of rules. But really, r... JESSICA NICHOLAS It's a positive sign that more hostages were freed than were killed (in March), but it's also a remi... EVAN KOHLMANN And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the
devil, and had the legion, sittings... BIBLE The Jacksonians were not monetary nationalists; specie was specie, and they saw no reason that forei... MURRAY ROTHBARD We were told that they were dummy shells that were being used, so as just to break through a hole in... RUSLAN TEBIEV They expanded their zone and cut down on our jump shots in the second half. They were baiting us to ... BRYAN AYALA They were afraid if the children were not very obedient they would get in trouble with white people ... ALVIN POUSSAINT It was an egregious violation of the American Constitution. We were innocent American citizens, and ... GEORGE TAKEI We decided it might hold value to larger community if [the photos] were accessible to the larger com... KAREN GLYNN Were a pretty tight-knit community. But also, any of the funds raised go to scholarships for high sc... WENDY WILSON Her mental side was so strong. And her family values were so strong. They had such a good plan and w... GARY GILCHRIST When we did our September forecasts, we were already in an environment where oil prices were high an... AXEL WEBER We were driving to the basket, had some good low post action and we ran our offense very well. CEDRIC SIMMONS We were so fortunate to shoot in Columbia. We were just overwhelmed by the support offered by the co... DANIELLE RENFREW Windows 95 had its 20th anniversary last year, so we got our hands on an old system and showed it to... BENNY FINE And there were eight boards; and their sockets were sixteen sockets of silver, under every board two... BIBLE That's what got us into this situation a year ago. I spent a great deal of time with the community .... DAN STORCK We were American citizens. We were incarcerated by our American government in American internment ca... GEORGE TAKEI I knew Carl and I were skating for silver. CHAD HEDRICK In that game, I don't think we were blue, white, black, or whatever collar. We didn't play well. CURTIS MARTIN Your flag and my flag,
And how it flies today
In your land and my land
And half a world ... WILBUR D. NESBIT When I was growing up, Asians were so few and far between as to be almost invisible. And so the idea... GRACE LEE BOGGS They were active in the community because they were people-people. They got their strengths from oth... BARBARA JUDD We were in Little Rock. We were assessing a very important issue. In the midst of our discussions, w... KEN STARR So after the Lewinsky scandal, everything changed, and we moved from using the Bible to address the ... TONY CAMPOLO The desert at night was black and a strange madder-tinted silver; the sky was black, and the great c... RACHEL NEUMEIER A lot of children find symbolic arithmetic quite difficult and tedious, yet the children loved our t... ELIZABETH SPELKE Unwed white girls who became pregnant in the postwar years were considered psychologically disturbed... LEORA TANENBAUM So I had to be the doctor to these wounded men until we could remove them to the hospital. There wer... AGNES SMEDLEY I was extremely pleased with the way that we played in our matches. It was nice to see that the thin... DAVE THORN The majority of my interactions with police were not good. There were a few good ones who were actua... KENDRICK LAMAR I am not red or blue. I am red, white and blue. Those are the same colors in my body (my heart, bloo... SUZY KASSEM All the other kids in ninth grade were drawing hot rods and cocker spaniels and getting blue ribbons... BRAD HOLLAND (Douglas) was throwing it to the high post, so we had to take it away. We were feeding off of our la... ZACH WEISMANN
More Mark Leno
has failed his test of leadership and missed an historic opportunity to stand up for the basic civil... MARK LENO Society is strongest when it upholds the basic civil rights of all its citizens, including the right... MARK LENO Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all California families will have the same protectio... MARK LENO It's a significant accomplishment. It was a thing of beauty, MARK LENO He was resolute in his leadership, ... He always said civil rights is civil rights. MARK LENO When you set aside all the emotion and hyperbole and drama surrounding this bill, it comes down to s... MARK LENO I couldn't do anything but keep going. It says something for being a little bit tenacious, MARK LENO We think it'll be tomorrow or Thursday, ... We want to make sure we have a full house of Democrats, ... MARK LENO I trust that my colleagues are searching their hearts and reading the constitution as they decide th... MARK LENO We are so very close, ... It would be very disappointing for this body not to be able to stand up fo... MARK LENO It's just the beginning. MARK LENO I think there's a better way to approach many of these issues, MARK LENO It's unfortunate for the Republicans to say if we don't see it their way, we're soft on crime or sup... MARK LENO No legislative body has ever passed such a measure. It would be historic, MARK LENO The Democrats are labeled profligate spenders, but I can guarantee I didn't have one bill with a $15... MARK LENO They are considered no different than married couples with regards to responsibility for children, MARK LENO No. 1, the crime would not have occurred. And the brutality would not have been (as bad) as it was. ... MARK LENO He cannot claim to support fair and equal legal protections for same-sex couples, ... and veto the v... MARK LENO Allowing same-sex couples to access one another's health care plans, make joint medical decisions, i... MARK LENO The Legislature has done the hard work of picking up the issue of the day, holding public hearings, ... MARK LENO The issue doesn't go away, ... Support will only increase. The more the public hears about same-sex ... MARK LENO Margita Thompson has said all kinds of things in the past that have proven not to be true, ... I wil... MARK LENO It would be highly unusual and a direct insult to the proponents of this bill and the many millions ... MARK LENO He cannot veto the bill until it gets to his desk, ... It may not get there for a couple more weeks ... MARK LENO [After first ducking the issue on Wednesday, Schwarzenegger surprised lawmakers with his statement.]... MARK LENO I believe this is a governor who is a libertarian, MARK LENO Today represents another milestone toward the fulfillment of the American dream for thousands of les... MARK LENO Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all Californians, all California's children and fami... MARK LENO I believe this is a governor who at his core is a libertarian on issues of social matters, ... and t... MARK LENO The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't f... JAY LENO If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. JAY LENO The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had bot... JAY LENO Martha Stewart stuffed and roasted canaries and found they
could no longer sing. JAY LENO You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that. JAY LENO If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. JAY LENO Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! JAY LENO Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said toda... JAY LENO I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking. JAY LENO For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that mak... JAY LENO If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet... JAY LENO Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. JAY LENO President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important f... JAY LENO Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, so... JAY LENO In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously. JAY LENO Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. JAY LENO There is a penalty for trying to knock
down a cockpit door, but it's the people
who try to go from c... JAY LENO a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003). JAY LENO Vice President Dick Cheney is currently out in South Dakota on a three-day hunting trip. What better... JAY LENO The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a we... JAY LENO Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will ... JAY LENO There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give every... JAY LENO I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good
Maybe you're... JAY LENO The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. JAY LENO I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'W... JAY LENO How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak? JAY LENO Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? JAY LENO Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Tea... JAY LENO Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are... JAY LENO Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What better place for a gu... JAY LENO I just got a phone call that Tom Cruise had a baby girl about two minutes ago. No joke. JAY LENO Did you hear about this story? ... Several Minnesota Vikings players are being investigated after a ... JAY LENO Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who could... JAY LENO It seems an Iranian-born German soccer star is refusing to play in his team's next match because it'... JAY LENO The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors ... JAY LENO President Bush agreed today to allow more weapons inspectors in Iraq. As I understand he has 250,000... JAY LENO Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How di... JAY LENO I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, F... JAY LENO Luckily, when I was a kid, Ritalin hadn't been invented yet, JAY LENO John Kerry met with Al Sharpton. Can you see the two of them standing together? It'd look like Abe L... JAY LENO For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. JAY LENO I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "W... JAY LENO More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistress... JAY LENO CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's ... JAY LENO The White House began airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry camp... JAY LENO Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. B... JAY LENO I was a little kid and I was fascinated by the roast beef going around the spit. So I took out my li... JAY LENO Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember th... JAY LENO I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you... JAY LENO A week later, President Bush said his administration's response to Katrina was unacceptable. Then he... JAY LENO Now the Democrats control the Senate. But the good news is that now the Republicans can admit that S... JAY LENO We have an important decision to make now about who controls Iraq. You know, that's a critical quest... JAY LENO Dick Cheney has announced that he has agreed to be Bush's running mate in 2004. Cheney says wants fo... JAY LENO Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lotter... JAY LENO Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, ... JAY LENO According to this week's Time magazine, President George Bush is a serious fitness buff. He works ou... JAY LENO One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein interview adopted a phony Ara... JAY LENO They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 mill... JAY LENO In a speech yesterday John Kerry said that before November he may go to Iraq. Is that a good idea fo... JAY LENO The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. You kno... JAY LENO Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind... JAY LENO According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton... JAY LENO Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. Y... JAY LENO The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry You can understand why... JAY LENO Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is fi... JAY LENO A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he c... JAY LENO John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks... JAY LENO Ah! What is man? Wherefore does he why? Whence did he whence? Whither is he withering? DAN LENO Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at... JAY LENO Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? ... JAY LENO Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be th... JAY LENO War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operat... JAY LENO You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. JAY LENO Shaquille O'Neal, ... has signed a five-year, $100-million contract extension with the Miami Heat. .... JAY LENO telling you how tough it was in the old days -- how cramped it was, how small it was, how lucky you ... JAY LENO Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-ele... JAY LENO Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bo... JAY LENO New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive JAY LENO President Bush said for security reasons, he's sworn off all e-mail communication. He will not be us... JAY LENO Now, I have a Halloween mask I think you might get a kick out of. That's scary. JAY LENO Why do elephants go swimming? To get their trunks wet. JAY LENO Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic... JAY LENO There are reports that Saddam has been spotted in central Baghdad. Parts of him were also spotted in... JAY LENO If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. JAY LENO In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administrati... JAY LENO The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn'... JAY LENO President Clinton, this guy is sharp. Boy, he gave Hillary the most romantic Valentine's gift today,... JAY LENO On Monday, President Bush will reach his 100th day in office. It's a big milestone for him, surpasse... JAY LENO Plus, I promised Mavis (his wife) I would take her out for dinner before I turned 60. JAY LENO John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, ... JAY LENO Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has ... JAY LENO The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Te... JAY LENO Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, afte... JAY LENO He seemed a little scripted in his speech, JAY LENO We put our two 4-year-old minds together and came up with some jokes that 8-year-olds would like. JAY LENO Tonight JAY LENO nice to see at least one Dodger scoring this year. JAY LENO He didn't want to sell it, but since he's off steroids he can only wear it as a bracelet now. JAY LENO You think, well, I can't cry anymore. You go, 'Oh gee,' and you see that pregnant mom, you see that ... JAY LENO Man, what is it down to, just a couple of voters? JAY LENO The critics said, 'Well, Arnold can't be an administrator, he's an actor. Arnold can't be an environ... JAY LENO I thought he looked quite good in his flight suit landing on the aircraft carrier. He looked very na... JAY LENO It's a big showroom at MGM. It will bring in a few thousand people because it's free. When times are... JAY LENO Bring him on once you catch him. JAY LENO I guess that would be your sister in Kentucky, JAY LENO Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown o... JAY LENO It's mostly a family story. It's about my mom and my dad. And I come from one of those homes where e... JAY LENO Have you ever used a fake ID? JAY LENO Democrats have been complaining that President Bush has spent more than 21 percent of his time in of... JAY LENO U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking n... JAY LENO George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out becaus... JAY LENO A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. JAY LENO If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology JAY LENO An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in a heart transplant op... JAY LENO The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't ... JAY LENO Hillary said today that she knew nothing about her brother's involvement (in Clinton's pardons). I b... JAY LENO There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured when they tried to jump on our... JAY LENO I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good?Maybe you're ... JAY LENO If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates JAY LENO You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. JAY LENO America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat ... JAY LENO The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can fin... JAY LENO I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call ... JAY LENO President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he think... JAY LENO In just two weeks, Bill Clinton will no longer be President of the United States. He'll just be anot... JAY LENO Beverly Hills. JAY LENO Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with ... JAY LENO (The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep gettin... JAY LENO Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. Thi... JAY LENO Dick Cheney told reports that he has a new outlook on life. He says the best part of waking up is...... JAY LENO The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with cri... JAY LENO Well that's a nice thing, ... Mom, I'm making millions now. I got you a new dryer.' JAY LENO President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a coupl... JAY LENO At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battere... JAY LENO Vice President Dick Cheney said he is upset when critics say [the administration] lied us into the w... JAY LENO John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used... JAY LENO John Kerry said today that he stands by ... his claim that certain foreign leaders have told him tha... JAY LENO John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take he... JAY LENO Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons.... JAY LENO Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or eve... JAY LENO Newsweek reported that 87 Congressman are currently having affairs. In fact, that is why they have r... JAY LENO The Pentagon said today they're sending another 100,000 troops into the Gulf. We have 250,000 there ... JAY LENO Tip flying in the winter: Book an afternoonflight. The airport security personell has warmed their h... JAY LENO The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think that's Presid... JAY LENO Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy wit... JAY LENO According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White Hou... JAY LENO President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq.... JAY LENO All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around. JAY LENO I’m a great believer in low self-esteem. Self-esteem is great for actors and criminals. I assume e... JAY LENO Marriage is grand. Divorce is twenty grand. JAY LENO Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $... JAY LENO Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.' JAY LENO Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to... JAY LENO In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and th... JAY LENO Politics is just show business for ugly people JAY LENO President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style dem... JAY LENO Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, ... JAY LENO John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shu... JAY LENO There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, ... JAY LENO The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a we... JAY LENO The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' ... JAY LENO Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of... JAY LENO Politics is just show business for ugly people. JAY LENO A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, ... JAY LENO My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? JAY LENO Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back togethe... JAY LENO With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tea... JAY LENO The moment I started reading, I was no longer in my bedroom, no longer sad, no longer even myself. KATRINA LENO I was reading in the paper today that Congress wants to replace the dollar bill with a coin. They’... JAY LENO It's what everybody is waiting for. Everybody is excited about the World Cup and I hope it gets thin... LENO RIVERA Our team here is very young. There are a lot of prospects on this club. We have some guys who did no... LENO RIVERA