We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.

Happiness is just an illusion caused by the temporary absence of reality.

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble is sex.

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.

Numbers are like people; torture them enough and they'll tell you anything.