We knew what we were getting into with Mount Olive. They are aggressive offensively. Good teams that win in the NCAA Tournament, they hit their free throws.
Dave Springer
Related They were a physical, tough team. Those were two teams getting after it and playing aggressive. We d... JAMIE DIXON The words you can’t find, you borrow. We read to know we’re not alone. We read because w... GABRIELLE ZEVIN We went into a zone and they were able to hit some threes and they shot well at the line. Ten of the... BRENT CARNDUFF Free throws are key. I think they (Wildcats) ran out eight straight points because they hit free thr... DOUG ERNY We knew we were going to have to make our free throws to win. BRADY BOMBER My mom always says free throws win games and that's what it came down to. They made their free throw... ANDY MANGIN I was getting good position, crashing the boards offensively and defensively. I sensed they were a l... ZACH FREEMAN I'm just thankful for the free-throw line because we stepped up and made the free throws. Good teams... LISA BLUDER I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made ... RALPH WALDO EMERSON Everyone knew coming into the state tournament that those three teams were the teams that everyone w... DAVE VANDEVEEGAETE If we had made our free throws, we could have distanced them even more. Once (Johnson) made her free... WADE BAKER I thought the difference in the game were the little things, especially the free throws on both ends... GUY SHAVERS We have an aggressive team offensively. They swing the bats. When they get things going they hit a l... BRIAN HARPER I thought they played very good defense on us. They hit their free throws very well, especially in t... DAVE BEEBE We hit 29-of-37 free throws in the game and did not panic when they made their run. CHUCK MAY If people really knew what they were getting into with their third chemotherapy treatment, or gettin... CAITLIN DOUGHTY We can't simulate what they do [offensively] with JV teams and look teams, so we just tried to work ... BOB SINCLAIR We can't simulate what they do [offensively] with JV teams and look teams, so we just tried to work ... BOB SINCLAIR We didn't want to put them on the line. We knew they were a good free throw shooting team. Their gua... TOM ARMSTRONG These two teams match up well. I expected this type of game all the way through. We were just a coup... CHAD ALLAN They did what we asked them to do. We had to get off to a good start and control the tempo. And we w... ALONZO SLEDGE After beating Gonzaga, we knew were good enough to beat anybody. Now I'll be disappointed if we don'... BRANDON ROY Offensively, we kind of went stagnant in the second half. We got to the free-throw line and hit some... MICHELLE WOOD That ices games for us. We've got great shooters, but we knew they were going to foul us at the end.... HENRY UHEGWU Then we missed 5-of-6 free throws and they made four in a row. We played well and they played well. ... ANDY MANGIN We've been harping on ourselves about that. We knew we'd have to hit free throws to stay in it. We w... AMANDA RADOVICH You just never know. We knew they were going to foul us and we had to hit our free throws and we did... CONNIE WEST We hit some big shots in the fourth quarter. But we missed a lot of free throws which kept the game ... DAVE SCHMIDT Guys hit their free throws down the stretch. We got a few key rebounds and they missed some shots. DEON THOMPSON They were making 3's and we were missing free throws, so it's going to be tough to win. AUSTIN BOYCE We were scrappy. We hustled for every loose ball. If we hit free throws we win going away, without e... BRIAN COLLINS Brookhaven is very good, ... They have some athletes. Their quarterback throws and runs the ball wel... HUNTER THOMPSON The did a good job on the offensive boards in the second half. We played a really good first half, b... GLENN VAUGHN They held their composure. They hit their free throws. They hit the big shots when they had to. That... JEFF HIRONAKA I was pleased that we were able to dominate Mount Olive the way that we did. MARC WALTERS They got good looks, drive and dished under the hoop and hit some 3s and then when we had to foul th... LARRY KLUKAS With both the men's and the women's teams, we put our eggs in the NCAA Tournament basket first. BILL ROWE We have played three straight NCAA Tournament teams in fairly hostile environments. BO RYAN In the [NCAA] tournament every year, we've been the underdog and we came in and played [teams] tough... BEN JACOBSON All good people agree, And all good people say, All nice people, like Us, are We An... RUDYARD KIPLING I was able to hit some free throws down the stretch and our inside play was good. Andrew was the dif... JAMAAL MAGLOIRE You often love someone not for what they are, but for what you are when you are with them. JEFFREY FRY I think they were getting a little tired, and we executed offensively. We were getting stops and reb... BEN MURDOCK All those little things are going to help you win ball games. The girls did a great job of going to ... BRAD POPPE I knew I had to make those free throws for us to win the game. I felt good shooting those free throw... ENGIN ATSUR We were worried about what to do defensively. We knew they had good players. Up until the opening ti... JAMEY COLLINS I think this year more than ever has proven there are teams that might not get in or just barely get... JIM BOEHEIM We had good scouting reports on him. We knew what he throws in certain situations and in certain cou... BO LYBECK We missed free throws, we couldn't rebound, we didn't play good defense in the post and we did not l... BOB KOSKOSKY In the first half, we knew both teams were going to play their hardest. They haven't been here for a... JEFF CUMBERLAND We hit some free throws at the end and did a good job defensively. We're pleased with what we're doi... DON ALLEN We knew coming into the game that they were a very good team, that they were very good defensively. BRIAN VOELKER Free throws, free throws. We missed some key free throws and we've been good with free throws. I thi... ERNESTO ARREDONDO There are big teams still in the tournament. We don't feel any pressure. We are playing with a free ... BOBO BALDE Monmouth is a great defensive team or they wouldn't be here. This is the NCAA Tournament and there a... ALLAN RAY Free throws always win games. Toward the end of the game, when it became crunch time, we hit some bi... DANIEL DILLON If we hit five more free-throws out of 31, we would've been in good shape. CAROL OWENS It was a good game by both teams. They jumped out ahead of us early. And then we came back. But we j... DON MOORE Free-throw shooting is a lost art. It's not as good as it once was, and maybe it is because coaches ... DAVE WOJCIECHOWSKI We just ran out of steam (in the fourth period). We weren't hitting our shots and were tired in the ... DAVID PIEHLER Down at the end, Abel came through with a big shot and Devon hit some big free throws. That's what y... BRAD RANSON If we all look at life we think how nice, then we look at death and everybody goes oh you can say th... GARY F EVANS... The three-point play (by Miller) was big. We had done a pretty good job in the third quarter getting... DON KLOTH That's just good defense on our part. We knew Mount Pleasant could be explosive because they had bee... BROCK BLASSINGAME Regardless of their record coming into the tournament, they beat the top teams in this tournament. T... AMANDA MURDOCH We knew they were going to make a run. Good teams aren't going away that easily. MARK ATHERTON We went through some spells when we just couldn't score. We cut it to 3 and were right in it, but th... LEA HERNDON It (foul trouble) may have been a key in the second half. But we didn't shoot hardly any free throws... CURT FREDRICKSON It was a really big win and we needed a big confidence booster going into the next couple of matches... KATIE POTTS I just love Mount Olive. I love working for the Mount Olive Chamber of Commerce. It's the backbone o... RAY THOMPSON It was disappointing that we didn't make the NCAA Tournament. But we still can win something. DANIELLE KAMM We got some open looks and missed them and we kind of slid from there. We fouled and they hit their ... KIRK KACZOR It was pivotal in making you but you don't remember it. Or do you? Do we understand the events that ... DOUGLAS COUPLAND We knew that they were good. We knew that they had a good lineup. JACK KOSMICKI It's tough to concentrate on other teams when they're not in your conference and you are struggling ... GERRY MCNAMARA We were more aggressive. We battle that sometimes. We didn't read their blocks very well. They were ... AMY HOWIE We understand how Teutopolis was rated No. 1 in the state. They just came off two losses in the High... GEORGE REED I really wanted those free throws. They were fouling, and I knew they were going to foul. So I wante... ERICA FARINA I was really happy with the way we played offensively. We knew they changed defenses and they did th... SHAWN NELSON We knew they were aggressive on the offensive boards. We knew we had to run on them early. KAWIKA SHOJI We grew up competing with much larger institutions. They are very good at what they do and we knew t... JOHN ALLISON There is nothing that makes us feel so good as the idea that someone else is an evildoer. ROBERT LYND They say that defense wins championships, and we feel like we play good enough zone and man defense ... BRANDON MARTIN They were playing hard. They have some talent on that team. They haven't given up. They were very ag... BRIAN WINTERS They did the things that good teams do to win. They did what good teams do to win in the Southeaster... CAROL ROSS We weren't attacking. We had lanes to pass, and the next thing we know they are being aggressive. Th... JEFF MARLOW I looked at it as a statement. They were ranked pretty high and they beat Maryland. I look at it lik... CEDRIC SIMMONS We invite good teams to the tournament. That's why we call it the Tournament of Champions. We feel t... DIANE DAVEY We had some good opportunities, with free throws and short jumpers, but I think we were a little bit... BILL BAKAMUS When you're hitting everybody's more relaxed and everything comes a little more natural. We're getti... BRIAN BREWER Obviously we wanted to stop White from penetrating and we were able to. We got rebounds late and mad... GREG GEORGE There were three games this year that we were down and came back to win. They knew coming into this ... ANDY BOROWSKY When you miss as many free throws as we did with our best shooters at the line, you are supposed to ... HERBERT GREENE It's that Prairie tradition and all. They came out knowing they were going to win. I don't think we ... KRISTI KINGMA I thought our pressure should have been better, but it got us in trouble with free throws. Boone was... JAMES GREER I was never upset that we had lost four in a row because we played some good teams during that stret... DAVE REASBECK We missed some free throws that are uncharacteristic of us. We are good free-throw shooting team. Ob... STEW MORRILL They are a very good basketball team and we knew that coming in. They deserved to win this game beca... JAY SPARKS At the end of the season here, we know we played three straight NCAA Tournament teams in fairly host... BO RYAN We got it up to 18 in the second half, but they were able to cut it to four late. Maria Viola hit fo... DUWAINE GANSKIE
More Dave Springer
In the first half, we owned the boards and controlled tempo. In the second half, (Mount Olive) got i... DAVE SPRINGER They're very athletic and very offensive-minded; everybody on that team's looking for a shot. I thin... DAVE SPRINGER Both teams know that they were a second shot or rebound away from winning the whole thing, so there ... DAVE SPRINGER They were hungry at the boards. We didn't finish plays in the first half but in the second, we settl... DAVE SPRINGER We are stronger physically and defensively, and we were able to play 40 minutes of basketball. It is... DAVE SPRINGER The emphasis tonight was to take the next step and get to the next level. DAVE SPRINGER We are all born as empty vessels which can be shaped by moral values. JERRY SPRINGER I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour. NANCY SPRINGER All of us, whether or not we're celebrities, every one ought to spend part of their life making ... JERRY SPRINGER It's just a show. It's not the end of Western Civilization. It's chewing gum. JERRY SPRINGER I treat politics kind of like my religion. It's something I believe in, but I don't want to ... JERRY SPRINGER We can't just have mainstream behavior on television in a free society, we have to make sure we ... JERRY SPRINGER With a face like mine, I do better in print. JERRY SPRINGER Conform, go crazy, or become an artist. NANCY SPRINGER She didn't earn this. It was like picking on a handicapped person. VERA SPRINGER He certainly didn't like petty officers, I can tell you that, KARL SPRINGER Since we've been able to create that artificial cavity - boom. The bluebird came back. It's a key fa... GARY SPRINGER There's a perception there will be a culture conflict, but people are eager to embrace it. BRUCE SPRINGER The pain that managers have is being on the phone, begging people to work to just get a body in ther... BRUCE SPRINGER My calendar here is full. I have two or three things every day. Softball, swimming, tennis, basketba... DOUG SPRINGER They're competitive and they want to stay competitive. It's more than a retirement home. DOUG SPRINGER She played against us both times. We've been waiting to find out. It's kind of been hanging out ther... DOUG SPRINGER Every time you would say it, she always would have a twinkle in her eye. DOUG SPRINGER She has progressed very, very nicely through the season and has been pretty mature through the entir... DOUG SPRINGER He is one big, strong guy. We better come to play. GARY SPRINGER She just opened herself up for us. GARY SPRINGER If it's successful, there could be more in the future in other areas of town. EVAN SPRINGER They had the money to build the park, whereas we didn't. It would be hard to duplicate this in any o... EVAN SPRINGER This is such an outstanding project that I think it deserves to be recognized and receive this kind ... EVAN SPRINGER It's a very large market, increasing every year. JACK SPRINGER Cremation is almost always chosen by the deceased. Surveys show people choose it because it's easier... JACK SPRINGER A lot of them will not do it at all. It's not digging a bigger hole to put the body in; it really is... JACK SPRINGER The attention it got was amazing. It's the fastest-growing segment of the death-care business. JACK SPRINGER It is a much more involved process, and it takes quite a bit more time. You have to do it slower. Yo... JACK SPRINGER We want to try and get our mental game right. That is shortcoming in Barbados' cricket - the way we ... HENDY SPRINGER We have got a lot of experience in players who have been lucky enough to play test cricket and have ... HENDY SPRINGER I'm hopeful that most of the players would have been honing their skills at home with practice sessi... HENDY SPRINGER It is always a blow to lose a person like Dwayne Smith who can strike the ball so well and is also w... HENDY SPRINGER When the (depth charges) started coming down, you had to sit and take it, ... The explosions threw y... KARL SPRINGER Once in a while, ... the International Red Cross would announce it was coming to inspect the (POW) c... KARL SPRINGER She was completely cooperative and very remorseful. KAREN SPRINGER They were 18 months at the time. They just turned 4, so it shows you how long we have been fighting.... KAREN SPRINGER It's a lot of money, but the money has nothing to do with it. I'd pay a million dollars to have thos... KAREN SPRINGER My daughter says when the twins come home, we will have a lot to teach them. KAREN SPRINGER He testified he didn't want them because they were girls. It is my understanding the girls are in fo... KAREN SPRINGER When your point guard is going to turn the ball over that much it is going to be close. That really ... PATRICK SPRINGER You don't think the game's going to go as long as it did. You go out there and try to get your innin... RUSS SPRINGER At the forum, we will discuss GAO's recommendations, listen to your thoughts and concerns and discus... LINDA M. SPRINGER We're anxious for DOD to succeed. We know they will succeed. LINDA M. SPRINGER The solicitation will be broad enough to accommodate a wide variety of product types, including nati... LINDA M. SPRINGER That is not something to be proud of, and it's a system that needs to be fixed. LINDA M. SPRINGER Frown not upon your short comings for they do not measure your greatness, but frown heavily upon you... ZEKO D M SPRINGER The greater the adversity, the greater the conquest, the greater the glory. ZEKO D M SPRINGER Disappointment is a perversion of Hope. It arises out of misplaced hope and the basis of joy depende... ZEKO D M SPRINGER Happiness comes with the subtle understanding, that, the only thing in this world you possess domini... ZEKO D M SPRINGER It is far too difficult to change the course of a river. Me, I simply follow the river and change th... ZEKO D M SPRINGER I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ... DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But... DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi... DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe... DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a... DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod... DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t... DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui... DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s... DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk. DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou... DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a... DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra... DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible. DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio... DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a... DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se... DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each... DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be... DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ... DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ... DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea... DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ... DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts. DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're... DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do... DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va... DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'... DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ... DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts.. Everything is ONE! DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY I'm so alive. As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte... DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr... DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi... DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on... DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu... DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church. DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth... DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l... DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee Making plans to change the world While the world is changing... DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En... DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time... DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me? DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit... DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ... DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading. DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long. DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b... DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o... DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be... DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula... DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ... DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told. DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ... DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ... DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in... DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went... DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo... DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon. DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ... DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer... DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p... DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they... DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst... DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas... DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y... DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h... DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa... DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta... DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe... DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason. DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ... DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza... DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won... DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu... DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute... DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort. DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th... DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys... DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit... DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ... DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c... DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo... DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa... DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ... DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi... DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i... DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up. DAVE CHECKETT You can't choose what you're famous for in life. DAVE KELLETT The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic... DAVE KELLETT A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea... DAVE MEURER Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The future is no place to place your better days. DAVE MATTHEWS Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per... DAVE KELLETT I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit... DAVE EGGERS Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri... DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a... DAVE EDMUNDS To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. DAVE BARRY American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi... DAVE BARRY Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho... DAVE BARRY