We don't get too nervous for too may things, but on television a few million people are sitting there watching. Definitely a lot more nerves.
Dave Haywood
Related
We look at it as we?re putting on a parade for television. There are a million people on the parade ...
CARYN EAVES I didn't get nervous when I ran, but I get nervous watching other people now. I root for anybody...
GAIL DEVERS We cannot go on as we are with 2.6 million people on incapacity benefit, 500,000 of them are under 3...
DAVID CAMERON I don't really find a problem with technology or television or anything. I'm a product of it...
JASON BATEMAN Most entrepreneurs don't need as many customers as they think. A lot of people think 10 is too f...
ERIC RIES I don't get nervous in any situation. There's no such thing as nerves when you're playin...
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL There may be a lot of people out there who don't like me who don't even know me. But there a...
RICHARD SHERMAN There are a lot of people who consider themselves 'spiritual,' but that can mean a lot of th...
ZACHARY LEVI We don't have as many managers as we should, but we would rather have too few than too many.
LARRY PAGE In the United States, viewers don't get to see a lot of things we can show in other countries. W...
BROOKE BURKE People who don't have gender dysphoria aren't going to catch it by watching me dance on tele...
CHAZ BONO We know a lot of things, but what we don't know is a lot more.
EDWARD WITTEN When I signed up for 'Dancing with the Stars,' I was nervous. If I threw everything off, the...
NYLE DIMARCO There are a couple of things that I'm sure people don't think are important, but I do. I don...
AARON SPELLING I befriend people too quickly - I don't think that's wrong, but I get told that I should be ...
NICOLE APPLETON There are a few things money cannot but but there are a lot more things you should not be paying for...
IPE MATHEW We get a lot of emails, a lot of suggestions on the kinds of ideas and things that people would like...
DAN GILBERT People are just afraid of things too much. Afraid of things that don't necessarily merit fear.
FRANK OCEAN To me, a sure-fire way to get in a rut is by sitting around playing by yourself for too long. You...
DIMEBAG DARRELL I keep a lot of things inside. I don't like showing too much emotion. Early in the minor leagues...
VERNON WELLS Actors don't need a lot of talk beyond the first few sentences. They may say they don't draw...
EDOARDO PONTI Most of the games don't let you focus too much on the cheerleaders, but I've been watching t...
LAWRENCE TAYLOR We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlel...
MILTON BERLE French women don't have too many clothes - a few good pieces that last for a while and are class...
MIREILLE GUILIANO Things will come and go, and your life will go on, but you don't want to get too ahead of yourse...
T. J. PERKINS A lot of bad music sells a million copies; I don't think it's a good litmus test for whether...
BEN LOVETT We weren't too nervous but we'll definitely sleep better. As long as there aren't any rattling noise...
BEN BROWN You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things...
WARREN BUFFETT I don't believe there is any point in holding on to too many things in life.
KATRINA KAIF I'd love to tell actors about all the things they don't need to worry about. Less is more. I...
SIGOURNEY WEAVER Don't take things too seriously.
BRUCE OLDFIELD Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress peo...
WILL ROGERS I don't like music docs, usually. There's nothing to really say. What can you say about musi...
MALIK BENDJELLOUL We get a whole week off to rest and practice. There are a few different things we're going to work o...
HOLLY BRUMMETT We've been a bit too defensive about the European Union rules. We don't want to become prote...
VINCE CABLE I'm an entrepreneur and a businesswoman and I do a lot of different things besides my work on te...
BROOKE BURKE The answer isn't more time but a greater awareness of the time we have.
CRAIG GROESCHEL I try to create some stupid entertainment for really smart people that they don't feel too stupi...
DOUGLAS CARTER BEANE I don't spend a lot of time thinking about scary demons, but I think that there are things in th...
KATIE FEATHERSTON I realise few people get to live the life they always wanted, but I'm so neurotic, I don't r...
CHARLIE HUNNAM There are over 1 million refugees in Lebanon, a country of 4 million people. How do we solve that? I...
RABIH ALAMEDDINE I've learned a lot from her. She does get on my nerves sometimes, but I guess we get on each other's...
LAIME CONTRERAS For me, few things are more compelling than watching a great opera.
DAVID RUBENSTEIN Being cool is when you win, you don't get too happy; and when you lose, you don't get too ma...
ICE T There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to ...
DONALD RUMSFELD We have a world minus a whole lot of talent that has stepped out of contention for leadership, only ...
ABIGAIL DISNEY There are too many people, and too few human beings.
ROBERT ZEND There are too many people that depend on me. I'm too obligated. I'm in too far to get out.
ELVIS PRESLEY You are always learning; there is a lot of grey; don't take things for granted.
LISA MARIE PRESLEY Office holders are a self-selected group; you don't get elected if you don't put your name o...
JOHN SUNUNU I don't watch a lot of television.
EDIE FALCO Variety improves the things that we do too often, but it rules the things that we don't do often...
DANIEL GILBERT I think that in order for anything to work on television, you have to have conflict. Nothing can be ...
CARRIE PRESTON A lot of people don't know the first time I was ever on national television I was a 'Soul Tr...
NICK CANNON Most of the things that happened to them we were up on, but we learned a few things too.
DICK WILLIAMS I don't think the mainstream media understands people of color are multidimensional. For some re...
ISSA RAE I don't like things too overstated in the cut or too perfect.
JOHN MALKOVICH I think the outside world can learn a lot about how to act by watching a major league clubhouse. I d...
TERRY FRANCONA We don't have too much ritual in our life anymore. And these life symbols which people rely on t...
JOHN HENCH I don't get nervous anymore. The first couple times I met Roger Federer, or Grigor Dimitrov, I w...
DENIS SHAPOVALOV I've always got the itch to play. I don't like sitting out too long.
ERIC BERRY Don't you find that the more you know, the more you don't know and can't ever learn beca...
LARRY HAGMAN If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a...
CELIA CRUZ American people are very patriotic, but there is no driver to get behind and support. I don't se...
ALEXANDER ROSSI A thousand restaurants close every month. They re-open, and that's good for America. Nobody'...
JOHN STOSSEL Since I finished on 'The Mentalist,' I didn't need to be so near to the studio, so we de...
OWAIN YEOMAN Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll ha...
CHELSEA HANDLER I don't think I miss anything by not watching television.
ALEXANDRA PAUL Too many people let others stand in their way and don't go back for one more try.
ROSABETH MOSS KANTER There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
SYLVIA PLATH I don't harp on what I could change about the past, because I can't go back and change it. B...
VANILLA ICE I attempt to surf. I'm not as good as anyone else in the water. I'm more like a beached whal...
OLESYA RULIN I feel like more than 80% of the world wouldn't get up in front of 40 million people and dance o...
ROB KARDASHIAN Don't make things too complicated. Try to relax, enjoy every moment, get used to everything.
ANGELIQUE KERBER Too much television watching got me chasing dreams.
COOLIO I don't get nervous.
DANNY BAUTISTA I don't get nervous.
CARSON WENTZ When you're sitting up there watching those games and they (may) seem like they're not close, but wh...
JAY WELK I don't even know if I always entirely get what I'm trying to say right away with lyrics. I ...
KIM GORDON I had a blast in the '90s, perhaps too much fun, and maybe I should have worked a lot harder and...
ZACH GALLIGAN A lot of people ask me to produce or direct, but I don't think I'm qualified. It's hard ...
GONG LI I am so tired of ruggedly handsome heroes. I don't know too many ruggedly handsome people who ar...
BARBARA MERTZ I'm more of a homebody. I'm constantly asked: 'Why don't we see you out?' But th...
KRISTEN BELL Don't take things too seriously, and just chill.
KAILASH KHER There's always a negotiation that goes on to persuade people we are coming to the subject with a...
LOUIS THEROUX Don't get too set on becoming an actor at an early age. I think that's where some people get...
FREDDIE HIGHMORE There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
SYLVIA PLATH I absolutely love television, and I don't mean to be vulgar, but as I keep having to explain to ...
STEVEN MOFFAT I call myself a naturalist as opposed to an atheist, but there are different styles. Some people jus...
GREG GRAFFIN I don't think too much about age. Maybe if you're hurting, aching and arthritic, then you th...
BOB NEWHART I get too nervous. I get too uptight. I get too antisocial.
BRUCE BARBER I think, like a lot of actors and people in the arts who are struggling to get where they want to be...
MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD I get nervous when I don't get nervous. If I'm nervous I know I'm going to have a good s...
BEYONCE KNOWLES I don't watch television, but I saw 'The Office' by accident. I thought it was so sophis...
VAL KILMER I can't complain that I've had a public all through my writing life, but people don't qu...
ALAN BENNETT There are lots of people I admire and respect, but I don't necessarily want to be like them. I...
JAMES D'ARCY People don't realize what's really going on in this country. There are a lot things that are...
COLIN KAEPERNICK Turn on all security features like two-factor authentication. People who do that generally don't...
ROBERT SCOBLE There are too many people coming to parks doing the wrong things. They treat the parks like popcorn ...
MICHAEL FROME But, I don't know, the violence, I can't even talk about. We don't do a lot of violent s...
AARON SPELLING
More Dave Haywood
That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD It is always weird to be in the studio working on Christmas music in June and July, so we decorated ...
DAVE HAYWOOD We start a lot with melodies and instrumentation and trying to figure out good melodies for verses a...
DAVE HAYWOOD I've always been drawn to city skylines.
DAVE HAYWOOD The very first day that Hillary came over, we were working on a song called 'All We'd Ever N...
DAVE HAYWOOD We love great melodies and great songs that have great hooks and melodies, so we start a little bit ...
DAVE HAYWOOD We all love to sing, and when we sit down to write a song I think it kind of shows itself to us.
DAVE HAYWOOD Charles and I are from Augusta, Ga. - so we come from James Brown territory, soul music and Motown. ...
DAVE HAYWOOD We have our roots in country, and that's our foundation, but we pull from a lot.
DAVE HAYWOOD You look at Michael McDonald and people like that; I think they just tried to write music that was t...
DAVE HAYWOOD When you're looking for a band name, I know it sounds weird, but everything you look at, everyth...
DAVE HAYWOOD At the Grammys, you walk down the halls and everyone's got five security guards. You can't t...
DAVE HAYWOOD We actually added an extra electric guitar to beef up 'Need You Now', but we haven't cha...
DAVE HAYWOOD To me the bottom line is: good music is good music.
DAVE HAYWOOD We were taking some photos one day in front of one of these old antebellum homes, and one of us said...
DAVE HAYWOOD I can still picture myself riding in the back of a Bronco to a field party after a rainstorm. My mam...
DAVE HAYWOOD Of all the Beauties, it is that which attracts the most lasting Admiration, gives the greatest Charm...
ELIZA HAYWOOD I feel real good, ... My body fat is down. My weight is in a good area. I'm not sure if it's the bes...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD The good thing is that we're doing a better job with our rotations, we're helping each other out and...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD There?s definitely less [hoopla] this year. Last year everything he did was a big deal. This year, i...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD I saw him miss a lot of easy shots.
BRENDAN HAYWOOD As talented as Gilbert is he is going to feel like he has to do it by himself, and we have to ease t...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD I might have got in his head a little bit.
BRENDAN HAYWOOD I think we relieved but not satisfied. We know that just because we are in doesn't mean that we can ...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD He tried to go through me with the elbow and I was there to take the charge and the referee gave me ...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD We're relieved [to get in], but we're not satisfied. Just because we're in doesn't mean we can go ou...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD I don't think anyone has quit. But if you haven't noticed, this isn't the team that we had last year...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD The real superstar is a man or a woman raising six kids on $150 a week.
SPENCER HAYWOOD I think if he could look into a crystal ball and see the future, he'd probably realize he made a big...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD I feel good about where I am,
BRENDAN HAYWOOD I worked hard this summer on my right-hand jump hooks, my left-hand jump hooks, turnaround [jumpers]...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD Given the fact there are multiple individuals vying for a spot on the ballot as an independent, veri...
SCOTT HAYWOOD When you watch Ohio State you realize they're so fundamentally sound and well-coached. You have guys...
MIKE HAYWOOD If you leave the state for temporary purposes, that doesn't automatically mean you lose your Texas r...
SCOTT HAYWOOD The big three gets all the headlines; the little two does all the little things it takes to win.
BRENDAN HAYWOOD Right now, we're just in the middle of trying to find ourselves, that's where we are. We're not a ba...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD I look at it like I have a long ways to go to catch the top guys, ... I want to stay hungry. I don't...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD The most important thing about camp and the preseason will be getting some chemistry going with the ...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD It's disappointing right now, ... but we did things that hadn't been done since the '80s. The Wizard...
BRENDAN HAYWOOD It's tough to go out and play so hard and know that now our playoff life is on the line. I don't thi...
BRENSLEY HAYWOOD He is great. He has a big body and works hard inside, plus he can step out and shoot.
BRENSLEY HAYWOOD Being older it is our job to keep the guys contained. We huddle them up on the court and try and cal...
BRENSLEY HAYWOOD For the first time, I have a parking place with my name on it.
BRUCE HAYWOOD This is a delightful place to live and most people don't realize they need to move in before it's to...
BRUCE HAYWOOD The book is my effort to describe why the liberal education has declined in the last 50 years and wh...
BRUCE HAYWOOD It's going to be like two prize fighters. We're the small ones, they're the big ones.
HAYWOOD BOSTON One of the things we wanted to do was to communicate the enormity of the task.
CARLTON HAYWOOD I'm going to have to pull a rabbit out of my hat.
HAYWOOD BOSTON They're not going to be any shortcuts.
CARLTON HAYWOOD We're not where we want to be on just about everything.
CARLTON HAYWOOD The Unhappy may, possibly, by indulging Thought, hit on some lucky Stratagem for the Relief of his M...
ELIZA HAYWOOD If they are paying out all of their earnings as dividends and reinvesting none of them, that's worri...
HAYWOOD KELLY Companies that are paying out their profits in dividends usually don't have great growth opportuniti...
HAYWOOD KELLY It makes sense for most people to have part of their portfolio invested in high-yielding stocks beca...
HAYWOOD KELLY We came out like a whirlwind and we left like a lamb.
HAYWOOD BOSTON Coaches have started doing things that Lincoln has been doing for years ? taking kids to team camps,...
HAYWOOD BOSTON It's tough being in the city this year.
HAYWOOD BOSTON I told the girls that we wanted to spread the floor and make it a free-throw game.
HAYWOOD BOSTON I thought we did a good job of being patient, especially when we started to take the lead at the end...
HAYWOOD BOSTON She has a great mentality. You have to think, 'That's my ball' when it goes up. Even if you have to ...
HAYWOOD BOSTON I mentioned to the girls that the game was too close for comfort. I told them we had to drive and ho...
HAYWOOD BOSTON We needed her to do that. We ran a play to get her going right away.
HAYWOOD BOSTON You must never lose that touch of childishness. You need it if you wish to write for children, if yo...
CAROLYN HAYWOOD Children are not only innocent and curious but also optimistic and joyful and essentially happy. The...
CAROLYN HAYWOOD Pressure is self-inflicted. We don't look at it as pressure.
MIKE HAYWOOD I love people who are fearless, and I'm a spiritual guy, so I connect with people spiritually.
HAYWOOD NELSON Sports do not build character. They reveal it.
HAYWOOD HALE BROUN I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ...
DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But...
DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ...
DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi...
DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century.
DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe...
DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ...
DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a...
DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod...
DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t...
DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui...
DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s...
DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk.
DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou...
DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a...
DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra...
DAVE EGGERS So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio...
DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a...
DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ...
DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea...
DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts.
DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're...
DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY I'm so alive.
As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth...
DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l...
DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this.
DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En...
DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time...
DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me?
DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit...
DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ...
DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long.
DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b...
DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o...
DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be...
DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ...
DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ...
DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ...
DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in...
DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went...
DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon.
DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ...
DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer...
DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p...
DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they...
DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst...
DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas...
DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y...
DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa...
DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta...
DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe...
DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ...
DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu...
DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute...
DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort.
DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th...
DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys...
DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c...
DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo...
DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa...
DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ...
DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi...
DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i...
DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.
DAVE CHECKETT You can't choose what you're famous for in life.
DAVE KELLETT The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic...
DAVE KELLETT