We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.


Bill Watterson

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We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON
In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
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We don't regard any scientific theory as the absolute truth.
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Don't forget to vote for Bill Clinton and Al Gore. Stay home if you're voting for Dole.
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You can't pay enough money to... cure that feeling of being broken and confused.
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We've had Town Hall meetings, we've witnessed election after election, in which the American...
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There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
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Alaska is a land of great opportunity for scientific research.
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There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.
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It's such a long mission and we get to spend so much time in space... we're doing such excit...
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Research your idea. See if there's a demand. A lot of people have great ideas, but they don'...
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If we don't hope, if we don't stay positive - at least about love, or finding love - then th...
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Some people are jerks, and some people aren't.
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The first legislation that I produced relating to the Internet was a bill to overturn a restriction ...
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You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'

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The goal of this research is to cure patients using their own tailor-made cells.
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When you're working well, you don't do research. Whatever you need comes to you.
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We don?t have the money for a rental. We only brought enough to buy gas back to Oregon.
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I used to know Madison Avenue advertisers. I didn't like 'em. Bunch of jerks.
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I've done enough wrong on my own, I don't want to get blamed for something I didn't do.
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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
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Well, here's what I think. I mean, the people are saying, 'We don't want it,' and th...
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I don't know enough about manliness to define it.
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I don't get far enough into a boring book to hate it.
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I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
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For some reason, I bruise like a peach. I don't have enough vitamin C, I think.
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There will be statues of Bill Gates across the Third World. There's a reasonable shot that - bec...
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I think it's scandalous that we haven't done more to cure cancer.
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We are not hungry... Why foist this food upon us? We don't want to be choked. We have enough.
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Musicals don't get enough credit for being so surreal. It's like an alternate universe.
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So it's one of those things where we have to - our problem is pacing ourselves and still reachin...
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I don't do any research. It's all about gut. Editing - it's always about gut.
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I don't ever want to be perfect,
Cause I'm a singer that you
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I use the city because it saves time, I don't have to do a lot of research on the setting.
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I don't love acting enough to give up my life.
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I don't play golf or tennis, I don't ski, I don't snowboard. If you love what you do, yo...
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Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
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I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
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I try to make everyone's day just a little more surreal.
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I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do.
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I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
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Verbing weirds language.
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The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
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This is where dad burried the little raccoon.
I don't even know he existed a few days ago and n...
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Watcha doin'?”
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“I must follow the inscru...
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Scientific Progress goes boink?
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Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.

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I wonder where we go when we die?”
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Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"...
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County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the probl...
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Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
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Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of borin...
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I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose
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Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?"
C...
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CALVIN: ...
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I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
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Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think ...
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Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower?

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Eve...
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I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!
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Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!
Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when y...
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I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.
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Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.
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You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.
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It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but wha...
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The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
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Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic...
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I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
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I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin
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Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.
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Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any prepost...
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It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.
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Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, a...
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Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.
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I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
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People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.
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I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your li...
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Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination.
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There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
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At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner m...
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Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table.
Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE...
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Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to c...
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As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a tes...
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We've had a few, but considering the length of the delay, it has not been bad.
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I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.
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My life needs a rewind/erase button.
BILL WATTERSON
To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.
BILL WATTERSON
Hobbes might be a little closer to me in terms of personality, with Calvin being more energetic, bra...
BILL WATTERSON
I hate to subject it to too much analysis, but one thing I have fun with is the rarity of things bei...
BILL WATTERSON
Obviously the great thing about this job is the complete freedom of the schedule. So long as I meet ...
BILL WATTERSON
The timber wolves will be our friends.We'll stay up late and howl,At the moon, till nighttime ends,B...
BILL WATTERSON
Whenever I hear about people trying to rediscover the "child within," I want to scream.
BILL WATTERSON
I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by H...
BILL WATTERSON
Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
BILL WATTERSON
If you don't have anything to say just keep quiet! Provoking a reaction isn't the same as saying som...
BILL WATTERSON
The kind of girl I was attracted to in school and eventually married.
BILL WATTERSON
. . . it's worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success. You will do well t...
BILL WATTERSON
I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of...
BILL WATTERSON
A REAL job is a job you hate.
BILL WATTERSON
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
BILL WATTERSON
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if...
BILL WATTERSON
There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.
BILL WATTERSON
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to ...
BILL WATTERSON
If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 minutes, than it's probably not worth...
BILL WATTERSON
You can lead people to the truth, but you can't make them understand it.
BILL WATTERSON
How come we play war and not peace?"
"Too few role models.
BILL WATTERSON
Such is American business, I guess, where the desire for obscene profit mutes any discussion of cons...
BILL WATTERSON
Now what state do you live in?'
'Denial.
BILL WATTERSON
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
BILL WATTERSON
I learned about what I love. Imagination, deep friendship, animals, family, the natural world, ideas...
BILL WATTERSON
I was not prepared for the resulting attention. Besides disliking the diminishment of privacy and th...
BILL WATTERSON
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
BILL WATTERSON
At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find the inner mo...
BILL WATTERSON
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these ...
BILL WATTERSON
Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better t...
BILL WATTERSON
By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an i...
BILL WATTERSON
A box of new crayons! Now they're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they'll be...
BILL WATTERSON
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster th...
BILL WATTERSON
It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
BILL WATTERSON
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
BILL WATTERSON
[Calvin: A 6-year-old boy who thinks like a grown-up and fantasizes like a child.] Calvin is very fr...
BILL WATTERSON