We are so very close, ... It would be very disappointing for this body not to be able to stand up for civil rights.


Mark Leno

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JAY LENO
Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons....
JAY LENO
Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or eve...
JAY LENO
Newsweek reported that 87 Congressman are currently having affairs. In fact, that is why they have r...
JAY LENO
The Pentagon said today they're sending another 100,000 troops into the Gulf. We have 250,000 there ...
JAY LENO
Tip flying in the winter: Book an afternoonflight. The airport security personell has warmed their h...
JAY LENO
The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think that's Presid...
JAY LENO
Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy wit...
JAY LENO
According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White Hou...
JAY LENO
President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq....
JAY LENO
All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.
JAY LENO
I’m a great believer in low self-esteem. Self-esteem is great for actors and criminals. I assume e...
JAY LENO
Marriage is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.
JAY LENO
Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $...
JAY LENO
Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'
JAY LENO
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to...
JAY LENO
In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and th...
JAY LENO
Politics is just show business for ugly people
JAY LENO
President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style dem...
JAY LENO
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, ...
JAY LENO
John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shu...
JAY LENO
There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, ...
JAY LENO
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a we...
JAY LENO
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' ...
JAY LENO
Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of...
JAY LENO
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
JAY LENO
A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, ...
JAY LENO
My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?
JAY LENO
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back togethe...
JAY LENO
With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides,
flooding, severe thunderstorms tea...
JAY LENO
The moment I started reading, I was no longer in my bedroom, no longer sad, no longer even myself.
KATRINA LENO
I was reading in the paper today that Congress wants to replace the dollar bill with a coin. They’...
JAY LENO
It's what everybody is waiting for. Everybody is excited about the World Cup and I hope it gets thin...
LENO RIVERA
Our team here is very young. There are a lot of prospects on this club. We have some guys who did no...
LENO RIVERA