Very often, I don't make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises.


David Ogden Stiers

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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, And that is to have either a cl...
OGDEN NASH
Our dog kind of got a little jumpy ... and the dogs went to kind of say hello and he swung his stick...
AMANDA OGDEN
I prefer to forget both pairs of glasses and pass my declining years saluting strange women and gran...
OGDEN NASH
Purity is obscurity.
OGDEN NASH
Middle age ends and senescence begins, The day your descendants outnumber your friends
OGDEN NASH
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think their children are naïve.
OGDEN NASH
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buyi...
OGDEN NASH
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex. I think it clever of the tur...
OGDEN NASH
Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives ...
OGDEN NASH
They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and they've heard ...
OGDEN NASH
Some tortures are physical and some are mental, but the one that's both is dental.
OGDEN NASH
Some people's money is merited/ And other people's is inherited.
OGDEN NASH
Do you think my mind is maturing late,Or simply rotted early?
OGDEN NASH
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work
OGDEN NASH
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
OGDEN NASH
Women would rather be right than reasonable
OGDEN NASH
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they ...
OGDEN NASH
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the bes...
OGDEN NASH
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenev...
OGDEN NASH
Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker
OGDEN NASH
Now, anybody whom a German hates, He presently exterminates, But he who exterminates a French Is nev...
OGDEN NASH
Life is sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
OGDEN NASH
To be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
OGDEN NASH
You scour the Bowery, ransack the Bronx,/ Through funeral parlors and honky-tonks./ From river to ri...
OGDEN NASH
If called by a panther,/ don't anther.
OGDEN NASH
Someone invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumber, Ringing wrong but similar number...
OGDEN NASH
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence
OGDEN NASH
Don't mark up the Library's copy, you fool! Librarians are Unprankable. They'll track you down! They...
CHARLES OGDEN
He worked as hard as any other pilot, and his stick and throttle are above most others.
CLAY OGDEN
Every Englishman knows one thing - that to be an Englishman is the best thing there is.
OGDEN NASH
It'll be no picnic. We're going to have to shoot the ball better or it's going to be a long afternoo...
BUD OGDEN
The cow is of the bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other, milk
OGDEN NASH
And one of his partners asked ''Has he vertigo?'' and the other glanced out and down and said ''Oh n...
OGDEN NASH
One would be in less danger from the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith were more fun t...
OGDEN NASH
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for
OGDEN NASH
An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no...
OGDEN NASH
Cab drivers are living proof that practice does not make perfect
HOWARD OGDEN
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind, But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even...
OGDEN NASH
The guy can just roll the rock. The putt he made on 17 was something. The way he has it going right ...
CLAY OGDEN