Unfortunately, she discovered too late that her unwritten list of desirable attributes was missing a few crucial items. Empathy, for one. A willingness to change his own life plan in order to accommodate somebody else's goals, for another. A sense of humor that extended past joke telling, to encompass an appreciation of life's absurdities. And lastly, but possibly most important of all, a capacity for intimacy.

Modesty is one of my many attributes!

I don't like the sound of all the lists he's making

There are more things I refuse to tolerate (pretentious music criticism, clove cigarettes, slow-moving ceiling fans, restaurant hostesses who pretend they own the joint, people who walk and text on a crowded sidewalk, Hostess Snowballs, people who drop subzero in their conversation when they aren't talking about the Arctic winds, people who bring their own bedroom pillows onto flights, pharmacists who yell out your prescription in front of other customers, Time Warner Cable, Sting's chest hair) but I'll get into that later.... I may not do that...though, because I refuse to tolerate lists. They're lazy. And listy.

In the spirit of Ethan's neurosis, we made a drywall list of keyboard buttons we would like to see: PLEASE, THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, DIE, OOPS...MY MISTAKE, DO SOMETHING COOL AND SURPRISE ME .

I'm a big believer in lists. You write your wants down on paper, and it's like putting them out there to the Universe: 'Bitch, you gotta make this happen for me.