To me porn is a body-contact sport; it's nice to see, but more fun to play ... I could watch, but prefer instead to participate

I remember the embarrassment I felt when Lie With Me came out over ten years ago. There was no good way for me to explain why I shot fiction with pornography, hoping for the best. That initial public embarrassment was likely a kind of useless repression. Because I had no big truth to tell about myself. Now, though, in retrospect, I know why I wrote Lie With Me. It was to sustain this perfect, merciless feeling I first had while spitting art’s extremity into the suckhole of porn. And it’s not embarrassing for me to admit anymore that I was desperate to find meaning in this action.

Unfortunately, by the end of two books I didn’t know any more about female sexuality than when I’d started out. My mercilessness had not blossomed into compassion either.

Is untapped sexual energy in women even still a problem these days? In 1999, I felt that problem as acutely as my shame. And it was this push-pull of pressures that made me transcribe and complicate the getting-fucked female voice - a voice that I found in porn, a voice that was utterly wasted by porn.

Porn needed fiction, I felt. I needed the fight.

It's about just being who you are. I say do your best to live a good life, and have fun along the way!

Violence is one of the most fun things to watch.

If it's enjoyable to the body, it's good to the soul

That was a lot of fun as an actor to play with that much prosthetic. It allowed me to tap into the real me, which is at least 90 or 95 years old.