Someone. Everyone. Anyone. No-one. One. One can't be everyone, but there isn't more than one everyon...
WILL ADVISE Having no applicable skills, in any possible area whatsoever, effectively makes me the master of red...
WILL ADVISE I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means o...
WILL ADVISE Quinns always come at half price, about half the time, and half-naked, even during the colder half o...
WILL ADVISE One must be a lotus to emerge from mucky waters clean.
WILL ADVISE My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizar...
WILL ADVISE I'm an oracle of the past. I can accurately predict up to 1 minute in the future, by thoroughly inve...
WILL ADVISE Rain is the purest of natural happenings.
WILL ADVISE Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in o...
WILL ADVISE And now, for something completely the same:

Wasted time and wasted breath,
's what I...
WILL ADVISE If you have half a nothing - sell it for a double something, resell half at double-price, and buy an...
WILL ADVISE I'd like to make a twosome with two handsome trees. Make that a threesome as I'd also include a bush...
WILL ADVISE With all the global warming going around nowadays, it would only take the stubbornness of a mule and...
WILL ADVISE When one is in love one thinks only of one.
WILL ADVISE I'll make a book on learning how to be a complete moron someday, and I'm sure no one will buy it, be...
WILL ADVISE The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet ...
WILL ADVISE There's nothing as useful as the truth, in terms of ruining anyone's day, week, month, year, decade,...
WILL ADVISE The best Christmas present you can give to your dead grandfather is not showing up until Easter. And...
WILL ADVISE Nothing brings home closer than going home...
WILL ADVISE If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at t...
WILL ADVISE I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she think...
WILL ADVISE Wasting time on timing stuff is a good way to save time from being wasted on other pointless activit...
WILL ADVISE Imagination is the ability to produce new ideas without the need of time to stop and actually think ...
WILL ADVISE Wonders amaze me. They can aim wanderlessly in any forest, be it of dark trees or lighted bushes. An...
WILL ADVISE Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - t...
WILL ADVISE If automating everything makes people lazier and lazier, and laziness leads to stupidity, which it d...
WILL ADVISE To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my s...
WILL ADVISE The more you believe, the more you'll be leaving you, when what you believed turns out to be just li...
WILL ADVISE A poem to Raymond, whom everybody loves, originally composed on a waterproof smartphone in a sea of ...
WILL ADVISE Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I...
WILL ADVISE The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have ...
WILL ADVISE Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don’t believe me...
WILL ADVISE #Cats are marvelous creatures - they either adapt to circumstances, or decide to make circumstances ...
WILL ADVISE People skills are useless with cats, because cats are immune to training, and do whatever they decid...
WILL ADVISE Everything is like a wall.
Said a scholar to the troll.
Bang your head to go on through....
WILL ADVISE A book about books is like a poem about poetry:

Books are knowledge, paid for, all.
...
WILL ADVISE If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they h...
WILL ADVISE On building homes for fallen angels:

When I was small - I sought a home,
a place to ...
WILL ADVISE I don't sleep. I just let my body lie itself into numbness and lie to myself that I can't hear, see,...
WILL ADVISE Sometimes I drink coffee at 03:57am, only I call it beer, and it's really purple wine, disguised as ...
WILL ADVISE A love poem about the most invisible woman:

The perfect mind, the perfect cover.
I k...
WILL ADVISE The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even b...
WILL ADVISE An imaginary friend once asked me why Americans can't stand Russia. The answer was cold, deadly, sil...
WILL ADVISE Meow.
WILL ADVISE Dark alleys, like social networks, are romantic, because you never know what might happen while I pe...
WILL ADVISE Translating from #cat is easy - you just ignore everything, then you decide what you want it to have...
WILL ADVISE Backpackers can pack much more meows than baggers. Beggars never feed stray cats as street cats are ...
WILL ADVISE I'm like my cat. I run around in circles in my apartment, because the big bad outside is just too bi...
WILL ADVISE And I will wait for Jarod to work for me. For free, cause if it's paid, it's work and not love, unle...
WILL ADVISE I'm selling Jarod's life today. I mean virginity. He has no life. Email admin@allthegoodonesarealrea...
WILL ADVISE When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a tra...
WILL ADVISE When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Si...
WILL ADVISE If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly...
WILL ADVISE If it's public, it's not bonding.
WILL ADVISE I fake fake to have a fake life. Does that make me a real horse? Buy now for $777, wooden saddle sol...
WILL ADVISE To have the wisdom is rarely achieved by seeking the knowledge.
WILL ADVISE Love is always more than friendship.
WILL ADVISE All my friends are bums. We all gather round our camp-fire (in a can) and sing songs of togetherness...
WILL ADVISE Once a cat loves you, it loves you till the end.
WILL ADVISE I'll catch any rose in my vase-shaped heart, then process it through my vascular system, until there...
WILL ADVISE A heart is all that didn't get removed.
WILL ADVISE Once a thing is removed from your heart, a trace of it still remains.
WILL ADVISE Always carry what is beautiful in your heart.
WILL ADVISE To fix hearts one must know one's own.
WILL ADVISE Eating pizza is like having a little heaven in your nose. Wait, that's not what you eat pizza with. ...
WILL ADVISE The best about cats is they love cannot feign...
WILL ADVISE IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course yo...
WILL ADVISE Whenever a river reaches the ocean, it waits to go back..
WILL ADVISE I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be mo...
WILL ADVISE Youir're doing this wrong.
WILL ADVISE I sometimes go to a mythical place called "workplace", where the doable is always unpassable as poss...
WILL ADVISE I wonder how Japan's futuristic robot doctors will treat the worst and most widespread disease human...
WILL ADVISE Starlight is best felt at noon...
WILL ADVISE In days long past, Jarod said he’d write a sentence about my love, translated in Russian, and that...
WILL ADVISE Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flus...
WILL ADVISE Home means always here...
WILL ADVISE A kid is what you feed it,
plus from that what can be gathered.
WILL ADVISE To storm, a mind, it must be balanced,
by what can't be it must be challenged...
WILL ADVISE Why just order a pizza, when you can get a restraining order for the delivery guys, make them come t...
WILL ADVISE Why work today? I'll take Tuesday on, just like I took Monday off. That's just the kind of dedicated...
WILL ADVISE The realest of cats love with all of their being...
WILL ADVISE As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship n...
WILL ADVISE I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-f...
WILL FERRELL I don't necessarily believe in organized religion.
WILL SMITH I love being black in America, and especially being black in Hollywood.
WILL SMITH When you create art, the world has to wait.
WILL SMITH I have a great time with my life, and I wanna share it.
WILL SMITH In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know yet.
WILL SMITH You can cry, ain't no shame in it.
WILL SMITH I've never really viewed myself as particularly talented. I've viewed myself as slightly abo...
WILL SMITH I've trained myself to illuminate the things in my personality that are likable and to hide and ...
WILL SMITH I don't know what my calling is, but I want to be here for a bigger reason. I strive to be like ...
WILL SMITH We all want to be in love and find that person who is going to love us no matter how our feet smell,...
WILL SMITH Whatever your dream is, every extra penny you have needs to be going to that.
WILL SMITH I want the world to be better because I was here.
WILL SMITH So if you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready, and that is how I run my life.
WILL SMITH Life is lived on the edge.
WILL SMITH If you're not willing to work hard, let someone else do it. I'd rather be with someone who d...
WILL SMITH The first step is you have to say that you can.
WILL SMITH Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
WILL ROGERS There's so much negative imagery of black fatherhood. I've got tons of friends that are doin...
WILL SMITH When liberty becomes license, dictatorship is near.
WILL DURANT Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
WILL ROGERS The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS I really feel like the sky is the limit. I'm a dreamer, and I dream in full vivid color HD.
WILL PACKER I'm a student of patterns. At heart, I'm a physicist. I look at everything in my life as try...
WILL SMITH Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice.
WILL DURANT We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
WILL DURANT And where I excel is ridiculous, sickening, work ethic. You know, while the other guy's sleeping...
WILL SMITH Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS I am a regular, if not exactly enthusiastic, patron of my local bookshop. I try to buy at least some...
WILL SELF I've always considered myself to be just average talent and what I have is a ridiculous insane o...
WILL SMITH I try to speak my points of view about black America, and how I feel about black men and the role th...
WILL SMITH It's quite highly possible that I have peaked. I mean, I just can't imagine what else I coul...
WILL SMITH I am the black sheep of my family. They are all super talented and intelligent and got proper jobs. ...
WILL POULTER It is fair to say that insofar as sport is taken seriously by those who play it, then to that extent...
WILL SELF One of the most heartening phenomena in today's Britain is the great diversity of the modern ner...
WILL SELF The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wan...
WILL FERRELL I think the greatest all-around athlete ever was Jim Brown. He played lacrosse, basketball and ran t...
WILL MCDONOUGH When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
WILL ROGERS One of my first memories of being a kid was, 'I want to have a real job when I grow up.' And...
WILL FERRELL I just felt that I might to go to university and get some real life. It wasn't stimulating in th...
WILL POULTER Somehow I got a place at Bristol University. I'm still waiting for the phone call to say that th...
WILL POULTER My youngest brother and I went on a ten-day canoe trip in Bowron Provincial Park in British Columbia...
WILL HOBBS I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get...
WILL ROGERS I have no Politics. I am for the Party that is out of Power, no matter which one it is. But I will g...
WILL ROGERS When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked abo...
WILL ROGERS Here it is, a New Year. We got to make some resolutions, as well as interest and tax payments in thi...
WILL ROGERS Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS Lord, the money we do spend on Government and its not one bit better than the government we got for ...
WILL ROGERS There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you ...
WILL ROGERS We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
WILL ROGERS Youve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
WILL ROGERS I am not a member of any organized partyI am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They do...
WILL ROGERS I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that Iv...
WILL ROGERS I never met a man I didn't like.
WILL ROGERS All politics takes place on a slippery slope. The most important four words in politics are up to a ...
GEORGE WILL A politician's words reveal less about what he thinks about his subject than what he thinks about hi...
GEORGE WILL Politics should share one purpose with religion: the steady emancipation of the individual through t...
GEORGE WILL Joy comes from using your potential.
WILL SCHULTZ Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
WILL DURANT When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds
WILL ROGERS To appreciate heaven well, it's good for a person to have some fifteen minutes of hell.
WILL CARLETON But I have learned a thing or two; I know as sure as fate, When we lock up our lives for wealth, t...
WILL CARLETON The editor sat in his sanctum, his countenance furrowed with care, His mind at the bottom of busi...
WILL CARLETON Overall, I think Michael Jordan is the greatest athlete in any particular sport. He dominated the ga...
WILL MCDONOUGH I think with movies I am really connecting to the Joseph Campbell idea of the collective unconscious...
WILL SMITH Never trust a duck.
WILL HERONDALE By the time I was ready for college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I secretly wante...
WILL FERRELL Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Cong...
WILL ROGERS As a bookish adolescent, I sopped up texts as if I were blotting paper and they were fluid.
WILL SELF Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committ...
GEORGE WILL Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many differ...
WILL FERRELL The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse ...
WILL ROGERS Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
WILL ROGERS I've been collecting articles on extremophile bacteria for at least the last ten years. I find t...
WILL HOBBS You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
WILL ROGERS It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
WILL ROGERS I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody chance to get s...
WILL ROGERS The most interesting thing in the world is another human being who wonders, suffers and raises the q...
WILL DURANT Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
WILL ROGERS Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
WILL ROGERS Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
WILL ROGERS It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS I think hopefully we've got enough brain cells left to decide if our music is really worth somet...
WILL CHAMPION Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
WILL ROGERS I need to try and get away from that brat role, or people are going to think I'm a natural brat.
WILL POULTER In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You bein...
WILL ROGERS Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start...
WILL ROGERS The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every ...
WILL ROGERS I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
WILL ROGERS I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
WILL ROGERS No party is as bad as its leaders.
WILL ROGERS Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
WILL ROGERS The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each part...
WILL ROGERS The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
WILL ROGERS The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long ...
WILL ROGERS If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
WILL ROGERS Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
WILL ROGERS It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was s...
WILL ROGERS Ronald Reagan has held the two most demeaning jobs in the country; President of the United States an...
GEORGE WILL I used to do prank calls as these people and try to convince certain hoteliers that I was someone el...
WILL TUDOR All I know is what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the ...
WILL ROGERS The gap between ideals and actualities, between dreams and achievements, the gap that can spur stron...
GEORGE WILL America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
WILL ROGERS The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best o...
WILL ROGERS We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual.
GEORGE WILL It is no longer enough to be lusty. One must be a sexual gourmet.
GEORGE WILL Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an i...
WILL ROGERS America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
WILL ROGERS Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House an...
WILL ROGERS There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
WILL ROGERS There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more lea...
WILL ROGERS Most of us spend too much time on the last twenty-four hours and too little on the last six thousand...
WILL DURANT