This tiger is sprawled So still and so flat, A question arises When glancing thereat. Is he asleep? to be Perfectly frank, He looks more as if He was creamed by a tank!
Bill Watterson
Related when you are broken and he has left you do not question whether you were enough<... RUPI KAUR I visit him a few times downtown while he paints. We talk about how he's going to Spain SAMANTHA SCHUTZ THIS IS WHY He will never be given to wonder much if he was the mouth for some cruel... MICHAEL RYAN Yes Yes when God created love he didn't help most when God created dogs He didn't h... CHARLES BUKOWSKI Had he and I but met By some old ancient inn, We should have sat us down to wet Right many ... THOMAS HARDY Percy wakes me (fourteen) Percy wakes me and I am not ready. He has slept all night ... MARY OLIVER On Love" For even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you. Even as he is... KAHIIL GIBRAN A POCKET-SIZED GIRL He keeps me in his pocket for a rainy day; he swears I'm ... COCO J. GINGER Lt. Denice Barnum at the helm gave a sigh, then replaced her nail file on the control panel, beside ... CHRISTINA ENGELA There is a tiger in my room,' said Frances. 'Did he bite you?' said Father. 'No,' said Fra... RUSSELL HOBAN Everyone says he can't run the bases, and he can't play left field, ... Obviously he's not the playe... PETER MAGOWAN Start by pulling him out of the fire and hoping that he will forget the smell. He was supp... CAITLYN SIEHL Somebody said that it couldn't be done, But he with a chuckle replied That maybe it couldn't,... EDGAR A. GUEST The poet dreams of the classroom I dreamed I stood up in class And I said aloud... MARY OLIVER The Mistake He left his pants upon a chair: She was a widow, so she said: But h... THEODORE ROETHKE I gave, at first, attention close; Then interest warm ensued; From interest, as improvem... CHARLOTTE BRONTë This was insane! Yes, he was hot, but so was Nick. Yes, he was nice, but so was Nick. Yes... RACHEL HAWTHORNE He is deaf, and keen to accept, any economical operation, that will correct his situation.... JASLEEN KAUR GUMBER What's the deal? Why can't he look into my eyes when I have words of appreciation lined u... TANYA GAMBHIR He sipped again, more deeply. “Is this an interrogation, Lieutenant?” It was the smile in his vo... J.D. ROBB She had blue skin, And so did he. He kept it hid And so did she. They searched f... SHEL SILVERSTEIN Hale, this life . . .' she started slowly, still practically speechless. 'This . . . what we do--wha... ALLY CARTER WHAT IS TRUTH? Truth is not a thing Or a concept. It is as multidimensional SUZY KASSEM He who is in harmony with the Tao is like a newborn child. Its bones are soft, its muscles... LAO TZU England once there lived a big And wonderfully clever pig. To everybody it was plain ... ROALD DAHL So, have we solved the secret of happiness? "I believe so," he said Are you go... MITCH ALBOM For five years I didn't think it was possible to be this happy. But then he forgot all those pr... TERRY MCMILLAN I didn't know who to believe but one thing I do know: when a man is living<... CHARLES BUKOWSKI It’s been a long time,” he murmured, prowling towards her, drawing to a halt just out of reachin... AMY ANDREWS SORTING HAT: "Albus Potter." He puts his hat on Albus’s head — and this time he seems... J.K. ROWLING I feel his arm Lightly Over me. He takes one of my outstretched hands. Draws i... STASIA WARD KEHOE He took a deep breath in, still managing himself as if he were resisting temptation. He was a soldie... LUKE TAYLOR When Hitler marched across the Rhine To take the land of France, La dame de fer deci... E.A. BUCCHIANERI 18. Your life is before you. Be careful of the choices you make now that you could regret later. Thi... JAMES C. DOBSON Life is but a Weaving” (the Tapestry Poem) “My life is but a weaving Between my ... CORRIE TEN BOOM His brow is seamed with line and scar; His cheek is red and dark as wine; The fires as of ... WALTER DE LA MARE Have you seen my daughter?” “Daughter?” I’m the worst liar ever. I stare at Sarah... SUZANNE YOUNG We'll Go No More A-roving So, we'll go no more a-roving So late into the nigh... GEORGE GORDON BYRON It Couldn't Be Done Somebody said that it couldn't be done, But he with a chuckle repli... EDGAR A. GUEST I had this guy’s file pulled this morning, along with the rest of your neighbors. His name is Desp... LAURA KREITZER A Boat O beautiful was the werewolf in his evil forest. We took him t... RICHARD BRAUTIGAN I love a man who tickles me awake with reality, and kisses me goodnight with fiction Braids my ... YESENIA BARKLEY You say that your fare told you that he was a detective?" "Yes, he did." "When did he say ... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem And he called it "Chops"... STEPHEN CHBOSKY Rushing into action, you fail. Trying to grasp things, you lose them. Forcing a project to... LAO TZU A precious mouldering pleasure 't is To meet an antique book, In just the dress his centur... EMILY DICKINSON He stopped the flyers And by his rare example made the coward Turn terror into sport. As w... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Amazin'.' he said again. 'He just looks as though he's thinking, right?' 'Er...yes.' 'But ... TERRY PRATCHETT With belles no longer did he fall in love, but dangled after them just anyhow; when they r... ALEXANDER PUSHKIN Do you think you might be able to love me someday?" He asked and heard her laugh softly. ... JASMINE DUBROFF He Is Not Dead I cannot say, and I will not say That he is dead. He is just away. JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY There is now a distance, pressing quite persistent, May be only inches apart, but as ... JASLEEN KAUR GUMBER So...you don't like dismembering?" "No." "Evisceration?" "Not so much." He laughed li... DIA REEVES From CATS ARE KIND "I saw a dog pursuing automobiles; On and on he sped. HENRY N. BEARD And once more given to inaction, Empty in spirit and alone, He settled down – to the dis... ALEXANDER PUSHKIN This Stone He went looking for a road that doesn't lead to death. He went looki... URSULA K. LE GUIN Sure you are," Jack replied. He sashayed up next to me, and yes, it was a sashay, he was far too dam... CANDICE GILMER Please," he says. "I'm begging you to stop." I still. "I can't stomach your p... TAHEREH MAFI Katherine," he said. He was still smiling. "Yes." She leaned closer. "Katherine..." "... L.J. SMITH There was a very cautious man Who never laughed or played He never risked, he never tried,... JOHN C. MAXWELL Would he find her? Without question. Would he save her? Always. LAUREN KATE As I saw it, all my mother's life, my father held her down, like lead strapped to ... LOUISE GLüCK When you go, if you go, And I should want to die, there's nothing I'd be saved by EDWIN MORGAN Trent, is this a date?" He didn't reach for the key still in the ignition. "You never tol... KIM HARRISON He came to read; two or three books are lying open: history and poetry. But after just ten... C.P. CAVAFY You’ll have sweet dreams?” he asked quietly and sounding like he cared, a lot. God b... KRISTEN ASHLEY it's not his body that changes right away. it's something inside. he says h... DAVID LEVITHAN Casually, out of the view of Ronan, making sure Adam was still sleeping, Gansey dangled his hand bet... MAGGIE STIEFVATER He had the most popular diet that ever existed, ... He was not just a doctor, he was CATHY NONAS Never judge someone By the way he looks Or a book by the way it's covered; For ins... STEPHEN COSGROVE Harold (about max): he looks kinda like a football couch Chester (sarcastically): Yay team rah... JAMES HOWE Mr. Bradford," she said. "I'm not going to propose to you." The twinkle in Mr. Bradford's... HEATHER DIXON Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him; WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A great nation is like a great man: When he makes a mistake, he realizes it. Having realiz... LAO TZU My uncle ordered popovers from the restaurant's bill of fare. And, when they were served, h... DR. SEUSS (THEODOR SEUSS GEISEL) A sky full of stars and he was staring at her. —ATTICUS ATTICUS POETRY And who are you, the proud Lord said that I must bow so low? Only a cat of a different co... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN The End of the Raven "On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward sl... HENRY N. BEARD I was thinking we could get a picture of you holding a pitchfork or something. Maybe a big wooden cr... STACIA KANE She was no longer theirs. She was his. And he was hers. And this w... MICHAEL GRANT Looks delicious," he lied. "A mite crispy along the edges - but then, I like it that way." TRACY ANNE WARREN When words run dry, he does not try, nor do I. We are on par. He jus... LANG LEAV The only furniture in the dank space was a flimsy cot. Water dripped steadily in one corner. A hole ... BRANDON MULL True words aren't eloquent; eloquent words aren't true. Wise men don't need to prove their... LAO TZU Why do you flirt with Mr. Daimler? He's a perv, you know." I'm so surprised by the question it ... LAUREN OLIVER With Cats, some say, one rule is true: Don’t speak till you are spoken to. Myself, I do ... T.S. ELIOT What do you want to show me?" "Nothing, really. I just want to be alone with you for a mi... RAINBOW ROWELL The Doors The End This is the end, beautiful friend This is the end, my ... JIM MORRISON Okay," I said, "what's your biggest fear?" As always, he took a second to think about the answe... SARAH DESSEN It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "So it is." "And freezing." "Is it?" ... A.A. MILNE John's CURTIS BROWN Lowliness is young ambition's ladder, Whereto the climber-upward turns his face; But when ... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Father! My father knows the proper way The nation should be run; He tells us childr... EDGAR A. GUEST Hello? This is Clary Fairchild.” “Clary? It’s me, Emma.” “Oh, Emma, ... CASSANDRA CLARE Sermon of the Mounts Matthew 5 AND SEEING THE MULTITUDES, HE WENT UP INTO THE ... SWAMI DHYAN GITEN After a while Mary said, “Zsadist?” “Yeah?” “What are those markings... J.R. WARD He was footprints in the snow. Not all loves are meant to last. Some are meant to gr... JACQUELINE SIMON GUNN THE THREE LAWS OF ALL You are never to worship a living soul, Except for three entit... SUZY KASSEM Sending out the Disciples Luke 10 1: AFTER THESE THINGS THE LORD APPOINTED O... SWAMI DHYAN GITEN Dark house, by which once more I stand Here in the long unlovely street, Doors, where my h... ALFRED TENNYSON
More Bill Watterson
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs. BILL WATTERSON Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems. BILL WATTERSON God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that... BILL WATTERSON There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do. BILL WATTERSON We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. BILL WATTERSON We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves an... BILL WATTERSON From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. BILL WATTERSON Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's differ... BILL WATTERSON The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't wa... BILL WATTERSON The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present. BILL WATTERSON The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a... BILL WATTERSON Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? BILL WATTERSON Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. BILL WATTERSON If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. BILL WATTERSON It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. BILL WATTERSON Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. BILL WATTERSON I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? BILL WATTERSON If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. BILL WATTERSON Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend. BILL WATTERSON I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood. BILL WATTERSON We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. BILL WATTERSON I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and tur... BILL WATTERSON Enemy fighters at two o'clock!Roger. What should I do until then? BILL WATTERSON Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. BILL WATTERSON From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. BILL WATTERSON Black holes are where God divided by zero. BILL WATTERSON The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the
universe is that it has never tried ... BILL WATTERSON Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all th... BILL WATTERSON I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here. BILL WATTERSON When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. BILL WATTERSON Reality continues to ruin my life. BILL WATTERSON Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems? BILL WATTERSON You can present the material, but you can't make me care. BILL WATTERSON I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you a... BILL WATTERSON If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are? BILL WATTERSON Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book. BILL WATTERSON If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. BILL WATTERSON Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available... BILL WATTERSON I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play ... BILL WATTERSON I used to make original snowmen, but it was time consuming, hard work. So I said, heck, this is craz... BILL WATTERSON People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children. BILL WATTERSON I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, ... BILL WATTERSON The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to... BILL WATTERSON Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend. BILL WATTERSON If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life. BILL WATTERSON People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up wi... BILL WATTERSON Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to... BILL WATTERSON Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid! BILL WATTERSON Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him? BILL WATTERSON You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. BILL WATTERSON You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstei... BILL WATTERSON I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius. BILL WATTERSON I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple. BILL WATTERSON If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differe... BILL WATTERSON Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. BILL WATTERSON Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges ... BILL WATTERSON The problem with people is that they're only human. BILL WATTERSON As a kid, I knew I wanted to be either a cartoonist or an astronaut. The latter was never much of a ... BILL WATTERSON Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that non... BILL WATTERSON Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination. BILL WATTERSON Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience. BILL WATTERSON I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information. BILL WATTERSON Careful. We don't want to learn from this. BILL WATTERSON Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me. BILL WATTERSON We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and wh... BILL WATTERSON A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add ... BILL WATTERSON If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again. BILL WATTERSON Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do... BILL WATTERSON The syndicates take the strip and sell it to newspapers and split the income with the cartoonists. S... BILL WATTERSON Let it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination. BILL WATTERSON Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery -- it recharges... BILL WATTERSON That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things o... BILL WATTERSON Mom and Dad can make the rulesAnd certain things forbid,But I can make them wish that theyhad never ... BILL WATTERSON Cigars are all the rage, dad. You should smoke cigars!" - Calvin "Flatulence could be all... BILL WATTERSON I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track. BILL WATTERSON You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help. BILL WATTERSON If life is just a stage, then we are all running around ad-libbing, with absolutely no clue what the... BILL WATTERSON After today, I'll bet Santa takes a shovel to the reindeer stalls to fill your stocking. BILL WATTERSON No more of parental rules!We're heading for the snow!Good riddance to those grown up ghouls!We're le... BILL WATTERSON You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are s... BILL WATTERSON Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a cultur... BILL WATTERSON Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me! BILL WATTERSON Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to ... BILL WATTERSON CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the ... BILL WATTERSON Some days you get up and you already know that things aren't going to go well. They're the type of d... BILL WATTERSON CALVIN: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you thi... BILL WATTERSON The center snaps the ball to the quarterback!" "No he doesn't!" "He doesn't?" "NO! Se... BILL WATTERSON Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'... BILL WATTERSON I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I jus... BILL WATTERSON I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal. BILL WATTERSON Wow, it really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful? Everything familiar has disappeared! The world... BILL WATTERSON Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite t... BILL WATTERSON I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations. BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit an... BILL WATTERSON Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse. BILL WATTERSON Heck, what's a little extortion among friends? BILL WATTERSON A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do. BILL WATTERSON You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood i... BILL WATTERSON I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. BILL WATTERSON To make a business decision, you don't need much philosophy; all you need is greed, and maybe a litt... BILL WATTERSON You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor that will be the stron... BILL WATTERSON If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20... BILL WATTERSON We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are... BILL WATTERSON True, comics are a popular art, and yes, I believe their primary obligation is to entertain, but com... BILL WATTERSON Childhood is short and maturity is forever. BILL WATTERSON There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse! BILL WATTERSON I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple. BILL WATTERSON The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it. BILL WATTERSON [A little more than a year after the comic entered syndication, it was collected in a book that beca... BILL WATTERSON I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at ... BILL WATTERSON They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Aut... BILL WATTERSON Comics are capable of being anything the mind can imagine. I consider it a great privilege to be a c... BILL WATTERSON Experience is food for the brain. BILL WATTERSON So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend i... BILL WATTERSON Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different. BILL WATTERSON I try to make everyone's day just a little more surreal. BILL WATTERSON I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do. BILL WATTERSON It took hundreds of years for these woods to grow, and they leveled it in a week. It's gone. After t... BILL WATTERSON I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big. BILL WATTERSON Verbing weirds language. BILL WATTERSON The world isn't fair, Calvin." "I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? BILL WATTERSON This is where dad burried the little raccoon. I don't even know he existed a few days ago and n... BILL WATTERSON Watcha doin'?” “Looking for frogs.” “How come?” “I must follow the inscru... BILL WATTERSON Mom says death is as natural as birth, and it's all part of the life cycle. She says we don't r... BILL WATTERSON I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a new... BILL WATTERSON Scientific Progress goes boink? BILL WATTERSON Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes BILL WATTERSON I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or i... BILL WATTERSON Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"... BILL WATTERSON County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the probl... BILL WATTERSON Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.” “That’s thoughtful of you... BILL WATTERSON Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of borin... BILL WATTERSON I've been thinking Hobbes" "On a weekend?" "Well, it wasn't on purpose BILL WATTERSON Calvin: "I read this library book you got me." Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?" C... BILL WATTERSON CALVIN: Hey, I got some mail! It's a Valentine card. HOBBES: From Susie Derkins! CALVIN: ... BILL WATTERSON I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think ... BILL WATTERSON Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower? Of course not. Don't be silly. Eve... BILL WATTERSON I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian! BILL WATTERSON Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when y... BILL WATTERSON I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. BILL WATTERSON Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin. BILL WATTERSON You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats. BILL WATTERSON It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but wha... BILL WATTERSON The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing. BILL WATTERSON Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic... BILL WATTERSON I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people. BILL WATTERSON I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification. -Calvin BILL WATTERSON Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension. BILL WATTERSON Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any prepost... BILL WATTERSON It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool. BILL WATTERSON Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, a... BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions. BILL WATTERSON I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends. BILL WATTERSON People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something. BILL WATTERSON I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your li... BILL WATTERSON Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination. -Calvin BILL WATTERSON There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. BILL WATTERSON At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner m... BILL WATTERSON Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table. Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE... BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to c... BILL WATTERSON As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a tes... BILL WATTERSON We've had a few, but considering the length of the delay, it has not been bad. BILL WATTERSON I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life. BILL WATTERSON My life needs a rewind/erase button. BILL WATTERSON To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible. BILL WATTERSON Hobbes might be a little closer to me in terms of personality, with Calvin being more energetic, bra... BILL WATTERSON I hate to subject it to too much analysis, but one thing I have fun with is the rarity of things bei... BILL WATTERSON Obviously the great thing about this job is the complete freedom of the schedule. So long as I meet ... BILL WATTERSON The timber wolves will be our friends.We'll stay up late and howl,At the moon, till nighttime ends,B... BILL WATTERSON Whenever I hear about people trying to rediscover the "child within," I want to scream. BILL WATTERSON I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by H... BILL WATTERSON Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess. BILL WATTERSON If you don't have anything to say just keep quiet! Provoking a reaction isn't the same as saying som... BILL WATTERSON The kind of girl I was attracted to in school and eventually married. BILL WATTERSON . . . it's worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success. You will do well t... BILL WATTERSON I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of... BILL WATTERSON A REAL job is a job you hate. BILL WATTERSON It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool. BILL WATTERSON Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if... BILL WATTERSON There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is. BILL WATTERSON Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to ... BILL WATTERSON If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 minutes, than it's probably not worth... BILL WATTERSON You can lead people to the truth, but you can't make them understand it. BILL WATTERSON How come we play war and not peace?" "Too few role models. BILL WATTERSON Such is American business, I guess, where the desire for obscene profit mutes any discussion of cons... BILL WATTERSON Now what state do you live in?' 'Denial. BILL WATTERSON Mothers are the necessity of invention. BILL WATTERSON I learned about what I love. Imagination, deep friendship, animals, family, the natural world, ideas... BILL WATTERSON I was not prepared for the resulting attention. Besides disliking the diminishment of privacy and th... BILL WATTERSON I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts. BILL WATTERSON At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find the inner mo... BILL WATTERSON Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these ... BILL WATTERSON Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better t... BILL WATTERSON By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an i... BILL WATTERSON A box of new crayons! Now they're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they'll be... BILL WATTERSON I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? BILL WATTERSON Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster th... BILL WATTERSON It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves. BILL WATTERSON It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. BILL WATTERSON