...This particular blunder is known as deus ex machina, which is French for "Are you fucking kidding me?


Howard Mittelmark

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Deus ex machina [A god from the machine]
MENANDER
A deus ex machina will never appear in real life so you best make other arrangements.
MARISHA PESSL
Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge or point fingers. You just have to be lucky ...
AUDREY HEPBURN
Take me to the height where success would seek my help to succeed!
I ARE
We want God to come and save us. But he won’t. God doesn’t stop levees from failing, he doesn’t s...
WAITER RANT
I love C-3PO; I love the girl from 'Ex Machina' - these kind of robots that have so much sou...
D'ARCY CARDEN
you weren't mine to begin with.
IAIN S. THOMAS
I can't even
SARAH VAN WATERSCHOOT
Dude, are you totally kidding me? ... My first PGA tournament is THIS WEEK?
KEVIN HALL
Dude, are you totally kidding me? My first PGA tournament is THIS WEEK?
KEVIN HALL
Are you kidding? This is Harry Potter! I love every last moment of it.
RUPERT GRINT
I was like, 'Are you kidding me? It was cool, man. I said, 'I will go for sure.
DUCKMANN JR
I like hunting down the ones that aren't gay and converting them for a while, which I did with my ex...
REBECCA LOOS
Are you kidding me? I wouldn't root for the Yankees if they were playing Poland.
BILL PARCELLS
I talk to people who are musicians, and they go, Oh this is hell. And I go, Are you kidding me? You ...
CHRIS ISAAK
God is best known in not knowing him. [Ger., Deus scitur melius nesciendo.]
SAINT AURELIUS AUGUSTINE
I'm totally open to it being a movie or a television series or whatever, but truthfully, if no o...
BRIAN K. VAUGHAN
It is not the least bit coincidental that adults who commit suicide with firearms nearly always shoo...
DAVID FOSTER WALLACE
This is the strangest life I have ever known.
JIM MORRISON
I am a guest of the French language. My poems in French are born of my interaction with the French l...
TAHAR BEN JELLOUN
We think it is a fantasy knife and this particular one is known as a Cobra,
TREVOR HARRIS
She gave me a hard look. "No one likes a wiseass, Harry."
"Are you kidding? As long as the wise...
JIM BUTCHER
For me concrete poetry was a particular way of using language which came out of a particular feeling...
IAN HAMILTON FINLAY
Which is it? Is man only a blunder of God? Or is God only a blunder of man?
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
This is my skin. This is not your skin, yet you are still under it.
IAIN THOMAS
I like French films, Chabrol in particular. With him, you often get a skewed morality in which you s...
RONALD FRAME
French culture is known for many great attributes, some of which probably have nothing to do with fo...
LEONARD MLODINOW
Are you kidding me? This is an issue that you need to consider according to your own principles rath...
EFRAT CYBULKIEWICZ
Y'know, when I first started listening to punk rock music, I used to get my fucking ass kicked for i...
GREEN DAY
I've never been in a game like this before. Are you kidding me?
JOE JUREVICIUS
I would have loved to have done what he did. Are you kidding me?
DON BLAIR
I won't give 10 dollars for fucking pornography, I will give them for something which will help me t...
DEYTH BANGER
Think of the old cliché about the mind being 'an excellent servant but a terrible master'. This, li...
DAVID FOSTER WALLACE
They want me to copy Howard [Stern]. But I refuse to regiment this show. ... I told them I would qui...
DAVID LEE ROTH
Time is with you... but as for the crime in that time... I am ain't fucking sure.
DEYTH BANGER
Clean underwear? Are you kidding me!?
ASHLEE SIMPSON
There is something about my aura or essence, or whatever, that draws the ex-wife characters to me. I...
NATALIE ZEA
What do you want me to say, Elli, I’m sorry? I’m sorry for feeling the way I do? Sorry for wanti...
TONI ALEO
You drive me fucking insane sometimes."
I drove myself fucking insane.
JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT
Oh, who was she kidding? She wasn’t fucking lucky. But hope sprang eternal, for whatever stupid re...
STACIA KANE
Are you kidding me? How'd you do that?
JOE AYOOB
About every six to eight months, I run into a man who astounds me sexually, but between escapades, I...
SUE GRAFTON
God of the gaps” Christianity seeks to present Christianity as playing a strong savior role whereb...
PAUL LOUIS METZGER
Are you kidding me? The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana.
THEFLAMINGPOPSICLE
You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! Then you can gi...
STEVE MARTIN
Enemy are your friends"... YOOU ARE FUCKING DRUNK... THIS CONCLUSION IS FUCKING WRONG.
DEYTH BANGER
Why should I admire somebody for his ability to manipulate me? In other realms of life, this talent ...
LEON WIESELTIER
This is how it works. I love the people in my life, and I do for my friends whatever they need me to...
JAMES LECESNE
Laws made in Alaska, which is known for its lawlessness, are as valid as laws made in Pennsylvania, ...
KEVIN BLEYER
We are survival machines – robot vehicles blindly programmed to preserve the selfish molecules kno...
RICHARD DAWKINS
Jews are known for many things, but strength, swiftness, and agility are not among them. There is on...
STEVEN PINKER
I would rather have a home game at SLU. I don't want to play here, are you kidding me?
COLBY OMNER
Now I must leave you as you enter the world that is Fuck. You are fucking lucky to be here. It's alm...
LEWIS BLACK
That was our focus, stopping him. I saw the film from other games and I went, 'Oh, are you kidding m...
DIETER HORTON
Our life is a series of moments. Let them all go. Moments. All gathering towards this one.
NOW IS GOOD
I gave you sympathy. *I* want sympathy!"

"Are you kidding me? You have the sexiest man on...
JILL SHALVIS
Howard spent a year marketing Sirius as uncensored radio. There is something so unethical about this...
CHAUNCE HAYDEN
That's it really; it's all love, whichever way you look at it, it's all love. How much you can Get f...
GEORGE HARRISON
And this," cried Darcy, as he walked with quick steps across the room, "is your opinion of me! This ...
JANE AUSTEN
Most alarming is the apparent disregard for the potential impact on the French cinema industry, whic...
GAYLE OSTERBERG
Drop the fucking weapon, you fucking motherfucker or I'll fucking scramble your fucking brains. Hand...
J.D. ROBB
You and I are happening. No one is keeping us apart again. Not Noah or Cammie, and least of all, fuc...
TARRYN FISHER
The idea is to believe me... but as far as I see the world... to believe is a sin... to trust me one...
DEYTH BANGER
That's the beauty of argument-if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.
, THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, 2006
Just tell me why; why the fucking why?" To which the universe would hollowly respond, "My ways canno...
PHILIP K. DICK
Are you kidding me? No way... oh my god, thank you.
CHLOE DAO
I fucking love my fucking life, and I fucking hope you fucking guys fucking loves your fucking lives...
CADIR LAMPE
I am Happy and satisfied with what I am. 10000 will take me wrong, 1000 will go against me, 100 will...
NEHA KOTHARI
I don't want to be known as this bitter, ex-Scientologist. I'm not trying to bash anybody, a...
LEAH REMINI
What's it like being opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger? For me? Are you kidding? Maybe if I'm l...
LINDA HUNT
At this very moment, I am suffering—as we say in French, j’ai mal. This event, crucial for me, i...
EMIL M. CIORAN
Are you kidding? They had me at 'Star Wars.' The kid inside me would've clawed his way o...
JASON AARON
Unfortunately I am a completely impractical person, caught up in endless trains of thought. All of u...
W.G. SEBALD
Don't try to bring about darkness on a Monday Don't let a Tuesday go thirsty Don't show temper to a ...
APURVA GAGLANI
Can’t you nudge her into submission? (Taryn)
Are you kidding? As stubborn as she is? I’d fr...
SHERRILYN KENYON
What matters is the one thing I do know for certain: God is with me.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
I used to do this as a kid. And now they're paying me for it, which is cool.
WILL KEMP
For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS
Don’t cry for me, Grace. I’m not worth it. (Julian)
Yes you are! (Grace)
You are my sa...
SHERRILYN KENYON
As the years of work passed at the Smithsonian as a scholar, I realized that Howard had trained me w...
BERNICE JOHNSON REAGON
Are you kidding me? He surfs like he just turned 20.
ALEX GRAY
Oh, are you kidding me. Dallas Baker came a long way.
URBAN MEYER
Lunch? You gotta be kidding. Lunch is for wimps.
STANLEY WEISER
This is worse than a crime, it's a blunder
CHARLES M. DE TALLEYRAND
I think sensitive is the wrong description of me. I'm British, actually, so quite bad at express...
JAMES BLUNT
If you are reading this... I'm dead so far probably or still alive who knows?
It's bad day in b...
DEYTH BANGER
And above all, you must be asking which door is the true one; not which pleases you best by its pain...
C.S. LEWIS
This theory [the oxygen theory] is not as I have heard it described, that of the French chemists, it...
ANTOINE LAVOISIER
You do what's best for your team, ... throw passes and get (the quarterback) killed. Are you kidding...
HERM EDWARDS
This is such a special summer holiday for me. I haven't known myself so relaxed in years.
KYLIE MINOGUE
They are also known as cop killers. And this is what disturbs me most about these types of organizat...
ED KUBO
When Robert Frost was alive, I was known as the other new England poet, which is to be barely known ...
HOWARD NEMEROV
When I walked into the amateur dramatics class they asked me ''what are you auditioning for'' to whi...
DANIEL ROBERT O'NEILL
This school's athletic programs, in particular, football, basketball and baseball are known nationwi...
DENNIS PERRYMAN
It's funny because I think that both France and Britain are known for their distinctive styles, ...
ALEXA CHUNG
Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it appears to be.
JEFFREY FRY
Most of my ex-girlfriends are still close friends. I guess when you are with someone that long, unle...
RYAN KAVANAUGH
It is what it is, it is what you make it.
JAMES DURBIN
In real life, couples bond and war over a million different things. The causes of divorce are like b...
HOWARD MITTELMARK
The Puffer Fish: Wherein the author flaunts his vocabulary.

His father was IRA and...
HOWARD MITTELMARK

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The Puffer Fish: Wherein the author flaunts his vocabulary.

His father was IRA and...
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Overuse at best is needless clutter; at worst, it creates the impression that the characters are ove...
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A vest as admired Voltiger had on, Which from this Island's foes his grandsire won, Whose artf...
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A dream is the bearer of a new possibility, the enlarged horizon, the great hope.
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I think there is probably no better person to aspire to emulate than Steve Jobs and what he has done...
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You can't have an industrial revolution, you can't have democracies, you can't have popu...
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The great solution to all human problems is individual inner transformation.
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Your friends will be as careless with your life as they are with their own.
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It is a true miracle when a man finally sees himself as his only opposition.
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Question the motives of those who make requests of you. Discover what they really want. You may not ...
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The fact is, everything we want or yearn for is won through other people. No man on an island is hap...
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Remember above all that mental stability comes by examining the contents of the mind, not by avoiden...
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Some folks hesitate to seize additional strength because they think it wrong or dangerous to be a po...
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To change what you get, you must change who you are.
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All forms of self-defeating behavior are unseen and unconscious, which is why their existence is den...
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Learn to see things as they really are, not as we imagine they are.
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Quit thinking that you must halt before the barrier of inner negativity. You need not. You can crash...
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Truth is not a matter of personal viewpoint.
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Our freedom can be measured by the number of things we can walk away from.
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What you really want for yourself is always trying to break through, just as a cooling breeze flows ...
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Never fear to deliberately walk through dark places, for that is how you reach the light on the othe...
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Start your day in a upward direction, and the rest of the day will follow the uphill path.
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A lot of songs you write are just for exercise - just pencil sharpeners.
HARLAN HOWARD
Once you consent to some concession, you can never cancel it and put things back the way they are.
HOWARD HUGHES
On balance, I am a supporter of the minimum wage going up. We've got to be very careful what we ...
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I was born on the other side of the tracks, in public housing in Brooklyn, New York. My dad never ma...
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Things go bad after a divorce and often stay that way. It is rare for the parties to return placidly...
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I've waffled before. I'll waffle again.
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The issue is not abortion. The issue is whether women can make up their own mind instead of some rig...
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Look, I'm not a perfect person. I have my warts. I sometimes say things that get me in trouble. ...
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From a religious point of view, if God had thought homosexuality is a sin, he would not have created...
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At every turn when there has been an imbalance of power, the truth questioned, or our beliefs and va...
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Mindfulness means being aware of how you're deploying your attention and making decisions about ...
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There are customers we serve, and customers we service.
-Captain Andreyasn
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Are you done briefing the company yet?"

"We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductio...
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Air traffic control is going to have a steamy old fit on your dime, boy.

They can get in ...
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Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-s...
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Being a mercenary, though... Hey, we just go wherever there's a mixture of money and trouble, and ev...
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New orders: Make sure everybody who doesn't want to live here is aboard in five minutes. We are leav...
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Maxim 6:
If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.

HOWARD TAYLER
Maxim 1:
Pillage, then burn.

-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Merc...
HOWARD TAYLER
Maxim 2:
A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.
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Maxim 3:
An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.

-The Seventy Maxi...
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I have a terrible lifestyle. And I don't really see it changing. Maybe in 10 years I'll see ...
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We will not know unless we begin.
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There's my education in computers, right there; this is the whole thing, everything I took out of a ...
HOWARD AIKEN
May I now pass on to this Congress advice which I received recently from a fellow Vermonter - Either...
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If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we wou...
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Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
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It may be said that poems are in one way like icebergs: only about a third of their bulk appears abo...
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Certainly the caffeine in coffee, whether it's Starbucks or generic coffee, is somewhat of a sti...
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The Things that Cause a Quiet Life

My friend, the things that do attain
The happy li...
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Whatever you want, you have the power to attain it. The man or woman who calmly and matter-of-factly...
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Of the five House Calendars, the Private Calendar is the one to which all Private Bills are referred...
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We can't wait for Washington. Business leaders are going to have to galvanize their own constitu...
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Business leaders cannot be bystanders.
HOWARD SCHULTZ
Eliminating the Death Tax will continue to restore consumer confidence, spur capital investment, and...
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You are changed by the people you are closest to, and this has allowed me to forgive myself for the ...
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When I was starting to write, the great influence was T.S. Eliot and after that William Butler Yeats...
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For whatever reason, whenever I'm having a get-together, I'll turn on my projector and play ...
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If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates.
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My father had a series of blue-collar jobs and never made more than $20,000 a year. When I was seven...
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In the 1960s, if you were a blue collar worker or uneducated, and you had an injury on the job, the ...
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As a child our dreams got scattered all about and all our future prospects got scattered to so many ...
TERRENCE HOWARD
You can't fatten the pig on market day.
JOHN HOWARD
Some people expect the door of opportunity to be opened with an electric eye.
HOWARD HENDRICKS
I have very close friends who are very devout Catholics, and I talked to them before the 'Da Vin...
RON HOWARD
The most important thing in my life is Christ. He's more important than winning or losing or whe...
TIM HOWARD
The ultimate victory in competition is derived from the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have ...
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Art is... a question mark in the minds of those who want to know what's happening.
AARON HOWARD
If ignorance is bliss, then I'd hope to, one day, be MultiOrgasmic.
AARON HOWARD
Responsible Drinking? Now that's an Oxymoron.
AARON HOWARD
LIfe? LIfe? It's Death that makes life worth living for.
AARON HOWARD
I shove him back. “I can convince him.”
“What? By seducing him?”
Morpheus scof...
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He spins us both, wrapping us in his wings until I’m dazed and giggling.
“I wanted to l...
A.G. HOWARD
The futures of Crackle and Hulu and so forth become more and more important as we connect to more an...
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It's a brave new world.
HOWARD KURTZ
Our lights are probably on until 3 in the morning because there is always somebody here doing someth...
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People like to see me play because I don't get in that much.
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It's something he has to do he's the point guard and the team has to listen to the point guard he te...
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Orlando talking is a big thing and we joke with him about it. Off the court he's shy but on the cour...
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I could tell he was gassed at the end of round two. I'll go even harder when I see someone is gassed...
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I was trying not to get shot on and it happened anyway. I thought I was going to get pinned there, b...
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It was a huge win for me. Now I just have to find a way to beat him at the league tournament.
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The trouble comes when we try to fashion our success to the outside world's specifications even thou...
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I made 'Rio Bravo' with John Wayne. It worked out pretty well and we both liked it, so a few...
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The only way out is the way through, just as you cannot escape from death except by dying. Being una...
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Through the door at the end of the hall, Bushrod could see daylight. Gray and sullen it was, but day...
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Diebold controls 20% of the nation's voting machines.. totals can apparently be manipulated from out...
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GOP Floating Idea to Push Out Moore so Governor Could Appoint Epstein ...
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“My Peregrination Cap,” he grumbles, straightening his tie and vest while wavering on w...
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Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.
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Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time.
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I am convinced that imprisonment is a way of pretending to solve the problem of crime. It does nothi...
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Inner guidance is heard like soft music in the night by those who have learned to listen.
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Country music is three chords and the truth.
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Composers shouldn't think too much -- it interferes with their plagiarism.
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The terrible immoralities are the cunning ones hiding behind masks of morality, such as exploiting p...
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Some people expect the door of opportunity to be opened with an electric eye.
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Can you think of anything more permanently elating than to know that you are on the right road at la...
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If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do succeed.
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I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that....
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M-O-T-H-E-R
M is for the million things she gave me,
O means only that she's growing old,
T...
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You reach a point where you say you're not going to do juveniles any longer.
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By cultivating the beautiful we scatter the seeds of heavenly flowers, as by doing good we cultivate...
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We are exactly where we have chosen to be.
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Quit thinking that you must halt before the barrier of inner negativity. You need not. You can crash...
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We must become acquainted with our emotional household: we must see our feelings as they actually ar...
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A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
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We are enslaved by anything we do not consciously see. We are freed by conscious perception.
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Insight into the two selves within a man clears up many confusions and contradictions. It was our un...
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If you have a lemon, make lemonade.
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Just be honest with yourself. That opens the door.
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I must acknowledge an interest, or rather a dismay, in discussing this 'family memoir,' for from exp...
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Freedom begins as we become conscious of it.
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We clearly realize that freedom's inner kingdom cannot be touched by exterior attacks.
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One-half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.
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I submit all my plays to the National Theatre for rejection. To assure myself I am seeing clearly.
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Hell is where everyone is doing his own thing. Paradise is where everyone is doing God's thing.
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Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their thro...
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The desire to economize time and mental effort in arithmetical computations, and to eliminate human ...
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Community cannot long feed on itself, it can only flourish with the coming of others from beyond: th...
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It's ok for a man to commit adultery if his wife is ugly
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Commitment means that it is possible for a man to yield the nerve center of his consent to a purpo...
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Don
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Life is a cement trampoline.
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A wisely chosen illustration is almost essential to fasten the truth upon the ordinary mind, and no ...
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Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.
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I've gotten to know John Kerry since the primaries. The reason I'm going out and working my you know...
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John Kerry's position and my position are not very different about what we would do. Interestingly e...
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First of all I like John Kerry. I think he's intellectually curious and very thoughtful. I think he'...
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Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them ...
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Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them d...
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Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
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But I suppose the most revolutionary act one can engage in is... to tell the truth.
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Protest beyond the law is not a departure from democracy; it is absolutely essential to it.
HOWARD ZINN
I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism.
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The truth is that to enjoy acting one must be an exhibitionist at heart, one must revel in those exp...
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I align myself with almost all researchers in assuming that anything we do is a composite of whateve...
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I was right to back Muhammad Ali, but it caused me major enmity in many areas of this nation.
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We were totally unprepared for such a large quantity of visitors, and in view of the preservation of...
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Until fairly recently, Amish teachers would reprimand the student who raised his or her hand as bein...
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Second of all, I don't think Wall Street is doing what it's supposed to be doing, even after...
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People were very nice to me. They knew I didn't have the money to do figure-drawing classes, so ...
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The Hercules' was a monumental undertaking. It is the largest aircraft ever built... I put the s...
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Schoolchildren are not taught how to distinguish accurate information from inaccurate information on...
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If I know you're very good in music, I can predict with just about zero accuracy whether you'...
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I don't share the view that China and the U.S. need to reach some kind of strategic accommodatio...
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Contacts would bother me. I'm just not that used to them. I think glasses are a great accessory.
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When I occasionally indulge in sort of a 'look back' at highlights, it's so interesting ...
RON HOWARD
When you're young and you're striving, it's all uphill, and it's easier to climb. Th...
RON HOWARD
There is never going to be a substitute for face-to-face communication, but we have seen since the a...
HOWARD RHEINGOLD
The Coast Guard has long been known as the armed service that gets more done for less.
HOWARD COBLE
Twilight - a time of pause when nature changes her guard. All living things would fade and die from ...
HOWARD THURMAN
Social and digital media is a bullet train, and that bullet train is not coming home.
HOWARD SCHULTZ
I sometimes talk about the making of a poem within the poem.
HOWARD NEMEROV
In the United States today, the Declaration of Independence hangs on schoolroom walls, but foreign p...
HOWARD ZINN
Starbucks has a role and a meaningful relationship with people that is not only about the coffee.
HOWARD SCHULTZ
Starbucks is not an advertiser; people think we are a great marketing company, but in fact we spend ...
HOWARD SCHULTZ
Starbucks is committed to evolving and enhancing our customer experience with innovative and wholeso...
HOWARD SCHULTZ
Being confident is the key to life. Don't be afraid to be you! I'm super different from a lo...
LEO HOWARD
I would be nowhere without martial arts. It's a passion.
LEO HOWARD
I've done all kinds of martial arts. I have my blackbelt in Shorei Ru. I'm doing Wu Shu. I d...
LEO HOWARD
I was bullied in first grade, and it's definitely not fun. But always tell somebody instead of h...
LEO HOWARD
It was fantastic playing Conan; it was such an experience to go out of the country and be this barba...
LEO HOWARD
Bruce Lee only played himself. Chuck Norris is a martial artist that does acting. I want to be an ac...
LEO HOWARD
Don't give in to all the cliques and popularity. It means nothing. I know super popular guys, an...
LEO HOWARD
I love performing, and I love being in front of people. I love the pressure you get and the pleasure...
LEO HOWARD
If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are goi...
LEO HOWARD
So I show appreciation for the little gifts that have been handed to me.
TERRENCE HOWARD
As the work proceeded we found that the western end of the cutting receded under the slope of the ro...
HOWARD CARTER
These ancient huts were soon cleared of the rubbish covering them. I planned them, and removed them ...
HOWARD CARTER
They were of many types of seals, all bearing the insignia of the King.
HOWARD CARTER
After clearing 9 metres of the descending passage, in about the middle of the afternoon, we came upo...
HOWARD CARTER
Commenced operations in the Valley of the Kings.
HOWARD CARTER
Feverishly we cleared away the remaining last scraps of rubbish on the floor of the passage before t...
HOWARD CARTER
All we have to do is to peel the shrines like an onion, and we will be with the king himself.
HOWARD CARTER
The news of the discovery spread fast all over the country, and inquisitive enquiries mingled with c...
HOWARD CARTER
It was a sight surpassing all precedent, and one we never dreamed of seeing.
HOWARD CARTER
With such evidence, as well as the sealed doorway between the two guardian statues of the King, the ...
HOWARD CARTER
Towards sunset we had cleared down to the level of the 12th step, which was sufficient to expose a l...
HOWARD CARTER
It soon became obvious that we were but on the threshold of the discovery.
HOWARD CARTER
I take a whole life story and compress it into three minutes.
HARLAN HOWARD