This is a man with post-traumatic stress disorder. He's not used to saying he's gay.

The boy broke into tears, saying the man he loved walked away from him after finding out he was gay. I was really puzzled and did not know what to do.

They throw rocks at your head. They kidnap and rape you.

I went to a psychiatrist (NBC insisted we all go) and told her I had been through traumatic experiences before and understood that the kidnapping would leave “fingerprints” on me for a while. The key was knowing what to expect. If you get blind drunk, you know you’re going to wake up with a hangover. By the same token, I expected post-traumatic stress symptoms—anger, irritability, a sense of isolation—and I experienced those feelings, off and on, for several months. It’s like having the monkey on your back again, and being self-aware helps shake him off.

When war is "over," it is never simply "over." The first war takes place during wartime. The second war, the far longer one, occurs when the fighting stops; this war is not over for years, most often for generations to come.

Notes

The Faithful Gardener (1995)

You are mistaken. The Nazis and their helpers were not from Germany. Gyava nepnek nics hazaja. Cowards have no country of their own. Those demons were from Hell."
Uncle Zevar
The Faithful Gardener (1995)
Clarrisa Pinkola Estes