They used to have a fish on the menu that was smoked, grilled and peppered They did everything to this fish but pistol-whip it and dress it in Bermuda shorts.

Grown men have been seen fleeing after reading the menu posted outside.

Kristin Brown looks as though she could have been mailed first-class to New York for about a dollar and a half.

Drawn by warm nostalgic feelings for the place and by two sweet little words: "Open Bar."

The 10 Frenchmen journeyed to America despite warnings from their mothers that they would be mugged within 5 minutes of their arrival in New York and mowed down by gangsters in Chicago -- provided, of course, that they were not scalped by Indians along the way [or captured by] crowds of American women waiting at the airport to get their hands on a Frenchman.

Scrooge pushed past Mary number 1 and Joseph number 2 in the wings without so much as an "excuse me". Typical.