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There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.


Woody Hayes

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Glen just can't seem to get the Woody Hayes out of him,
JOE TILLER Because I was small, I was getting the hell kicked out of me playing football.
BURT BACHARACH Crying cleanses the soul.
A.D. POSEY You learn more from getting your butt kicked than getting it kissed.
TOM HANKS I don't care if we ever throw the ball. I'm Woody Hayes. I didn't realize that (we didn't complete a...
TOM LEWIS There is a legitimate friendly concern that he doesn't stay on too long. I've heard the name Woody H...
CHARLES YESALIS It's a hell of a time to be telling people that they're kicked out, a week after the [Thanksgiving] ...
DOUG CULKIN Where does your soul go, when you die in Hell?
URSULA K. LE GUIN Gay marriage is the last bastion of, to me... as a legal, ceremonial, sentimental and religious side...
GUS VAN SANT When you're getting your ass kicked, you get on to game four. That's what it's about.
PAT RILEY What if you could meet your soul mate?" the ghost asked. "You 'd want to avoid that?"
"Hell, ye...
LISA KLEYPAS It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your ...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN Nothing that truly matters
Can ever evaporate,
Be excised,
Burnt out of your soul.
SCOTT HASTIE I think it was very unprofessional. When you're getting your butt kicked, sometimes you have to take...
MEL STOTTLEMYRE Faythe, it's me!"
"I know who the hell you are. Why do you think I kicked you?
RACHEL VINCENT The pardoned soul is out of the gunshot of hell (Rom. 8:33).
THOMAS WATSON Many people don't fear a hell after this life and that's because hell is on this earth, in this life...
C. JOYBELL C. Mother Nature continues in motion while your mind is segmented with probabilities. Remembering your ...
DEE-ANNE HAYES Trying to look direct in to your soul ... it's almost like trying to see directly to the sun ..... i...
DAVID MATEOS We know what to expect from Woody. I love Woody. I still talk to Woody. But when I go out there to f...
ALBERT PUJOLS We've been borrowing our way out of the recession, and nothing else has kicked in to take over.
JAMES PARROTT They would yell everything you saw in the movie and then they'd look back at Woody and go, 'Yeah, Wo...
CHARLIZE THERON A daily tip for getting ahead... Get the hell out of bed!!
WILLIAM COLT PORTER There is nothing that you need to add to your soul to make it complete; you are complete. You may ha...
AVINA CELESTE Getting goose bumps is like seeing somebody make nothing of the earth. They rock your world.
MICHAEL BOAG If you find out that people that once were in your life are evil you dont take matters into your own...
GARY F EVANS... Sometimes you just gotta be drop-kicked out of the nest.
ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. On Friday night, if you want to go out on a date with your wife or your girlfriend, nothing on Netfl...
TED SARANDOS Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkab...
KAREN MARIE MONING All of the sudden you saw teams in the South like Houston go get players like Don Chaney and Elvin H...
DAVID LATTIN What if heaven or hell have nothing to do with circumstances bestowed upon you and everything with t...
RENATE VULLINGS Percy was getting tired of water.
If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Po...
RICK RIORDAN Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart ...
JOHN GREEN When the second season rolls around, you throw the records out. If you have too many preconceived no...
SCOTT WHITE Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you get y...
FRANCIS BACON Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you get y...
FRANCIS BACON SR. Ultimate Isaac Hayes ? Can You Dig It?
ISAAC HAYES If you fear nothing, then there is nothing that can stop you from getting to the top. Fear is the en...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Alas! You complain that your soul is out of tune. Then ask the Master to tune the heart-strings.
CHARLES SPURGEON Laughter is a way of really letting out all this pressure that you could face in your daily life in ...
HIAM ABBASS ...instead of the smoldering, soul-baring, Abelard-to-Heloise-sans-castration solicitations you righ...
MARIA DAHVANA HEADLEY Greatest gift in this universe to mankind is nothing materialistic it’s only an unconditional love...
PALITHA ARIYARATHNA Having to face him at a competency hearing is like getting to hell and finding out that the only foo...
JODI PICOULT If you are losing your leisure, look out! You are losing your soul.
LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH I find the concept of Hell to be more honest than that of everyday life. In Hell, no one can lie to ...
LIONEL SUGGS Like I've said before over and over, there's nothing worse than getting paid to do something and you...
ANDY PETTITTE La bestia de la cual vivían atemorizados era en realidad ellos mismos: Era el hombre, no algún dem...
MARILYN MANSON Theres no competition in DESTINY. Run your own RACE and wish others WELL!!!
ABHYSHEQ SHUKLA We don't need another Woody. Even Bob Dylan knew he couldn't be Woody Guthrie... I like Wood...
BUZZ OSBORNE When you strip down the layers and get to your soul, there is nothing that can be taken away.
...
BROWNELL LANDRUM Theres no electricity, stuff like that down there. Its a little different. Its going to be crazy.
AARON KATZ He kicked the heck out of me,
ANTHONY QUINN If you are losing your leisure, look out, you may be losing your soul.
ANON. If you are losing your leisure, look out; you may be losing your soul.
LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH If you are losing your leisure, look out, you may be losing your soul
LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH Hey you the "Supreme Power Within Myself" uplift my soul that I make no more mistakes and patiently ...
NEHA KOTHARI If death is all about parting with body then immortality is about being dead when alive.
AKSHMALA SHARMA in life theres always that one person that always find a way to cheer you up ,and that always know h...
NADIRA AHMED Set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul, you've got to run like an antelope out of control!
TREY ANASTASIO It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di...
RADHA MITCHELL Don’t just use a map to travel. Use your new experience to map out your soul & your spirit. When y...
KARINA GAROSA I used to be a reporter, so that kicked in, too -- my reporting thing. It's like, when things don't ...
DENISE KRAFT The truth may not set you free, but used carefully, it can confuse the hell out of your enemies.
LAURELL K. HAMILTON There's no photo-shoot academy. If there was, I'd probably be kicked out.
AUBREY PLAZA Many people are in a rut and a rut is nothing but a grave - with both ends kicked out.
VANCE HAVNER Many people are in a rut and a rut is nothing but a grave--with both ends kicked out.
VANCE HAVNER Many people are in a rut and a rut is nothing but a grave-with both ends kicked out.
VANCE HAVNER The simple fact is this: when you goto Alaska, you get your ass kicked.
MARK TWIGHT Theres nothing more efficient than honesty and nothing more powerful than vulnerability because, vul...
STEFAN MOLYNEUX Basically, Aristotle believed that every time you behaved unkind and immorally - performing actions ...
KAREN SALMANSOHN As an astronaut, when you're getting ready to go out of that hatch, you know that's the pinn...
THOMAS MARSHBURN I know that your soul is on life support and that you feel lost and like you’re completely spinnin...
JENNIFER ELISABETH Plus my boots were made of awesome.
GWEN HAYES Kat didn't know what to say. It's good to see you too? Thanks for getting me kicked out? Is it possi...
ALLY CARTER The real shame about the ending of the Guns N' Roses when I got kicked out wasn't just that ...
STEVEN ADLER just because theres a goalie, doesnt mean you cant score
BRADLEY ADAM HENDERSON Everywhere you go, you shall find dramatic splendor and awe because your majestic soul is part of th...
KILROY J. OLDSTER But unlike you," said Jace, "there is nothing of hell in us."
"You are mortal; you age; you die...
CASSANDRA CLARE If you are losing your leisure, look out! -- It may be you are losing your soul.
VIRGINIA WOOLF Just knock hell out of it with your right hand.
TOMMY ARMOUR Are you tired of sand being kicked in your face? I promise you new muscles in days!
CHARLES ATLAS Oh soul,you worry too much.You have seen your own strength.You have seen your own beauty.You have se...
JALAL AD-DIN RUMI If God had bid you give them all your estates to own them, or lay down your lives to save them, sure...
RICHARD BAXTER Nothing prepares you for that thrill when the trucks arrive with 'your' grapes - and I'll admit ther...
ANDY MITCHELL Your soul will be dead even before your body: fear nothing further.
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE It’s not about getting out of your comfort zone to reach your goal. It's about widening your comfo...
RICHIE NORTON Finding your place as an artist is the hardest thing. You come out of college with what feels like a...
SAM TAYLOR-JOHNSON You start out giving your hat, then you give your coat, then your shirt, then your skin and finally ...
CHARLES DE GAULLE Maybe it's just me, but it seems like when things are going wrong-your wife is ready to leave you, a...
STEVEN BRUST To look into the eyes of the wolf is to see your soul, hope you like what you see
ALDO LEOPOLD Nutrition . . . has been kicked around like a puppy that cannot take care of itself. Food faddists a...
ADELLE DAVIS Grief is like sinking, like being buried. I am in water the tawny color of kicked-up dirt. Every bre...
LAUREN OLIVER You can't replace someone like Chuck Hayes. It's only so often that someone like that comes around. ...
BOBBY PERRY You read back through these old records when people were kicked out of the church for swearing,
DAVID HESS FAUSTUS: Where are you damn’d?
MEPHISTOPHILIS: In hell.
FAUSTUS: How comes it, then, tha...
CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE Patches don’t look it, but when attached to your soul they can get pretty heavy. They go over the ...
NATHAN REESE MAHER Not to be with the one you love, Laura, the one person you should be spending your life with--it’s...
HARRIET EVANS ...you found me in my lonely labyrinth and like Beatrice, led me out of my own hell...
JOHN GEDDES Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as n...
JUDITH VIORST The main way he reminds me of coach Hayes is that he cares about people.
ARCHIE GRIFFIN

More Woody Hayes

Paralyze resistance with persistence.
WOODY HAYES The five big mistakes in football are the fumble, the interception, the penalty, the badly called pl...
WOODY HAYES I've had smarter people around me all my life, but I haven't run into one yet that can outwork me. A...
WOODY HAYES Without winners, there wouldn't even be any civilization.
WOODY HAYES On our first date, all Anne wanted to talk about was Bob Feller, the new pitcher for the Cleveland I...
WOODY HAYES Without winners, there wouldn't even be any civilization.
WOODY HAYES I don't apologize for anything. When I make a mistake, I take the blame and go on from there.
WOODY HAYES The most deceptive course in football is straight at the goalposts.
WOODY HAYES Nothing that comes easy is worth a dime.
WOODY HAYES Nobody despises to lose more than I do. That's got me into trouble over the years, but it also m...
WOODY HAYES I just felt that we had to do it this year. All those national championships and all the kids he tou...
WOODY HAYES Paralyze resistance with persistence
WOODY HAYES Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and...
WOODY HAYES indomitable in victory, insufferable in defeat.
WOODY HAYES That was almost an impossible catch.
WOODY HAYES I'm not trying to win a popularity poll. I'm trying to win football games.
WOODY HAYES I don't like nice people. I like tough, honest people.
WOODY HAYES The minute I think I'm getting mellow, I'm retiring. Who ever heard of a mellow winner?
WOODY HAYES You win with people
WOODY HAYES Success - it 's what you do with what you've got.
WOODY HAYES A man is always better than he thinks.
WOODY HAYES The players fire the coach, and as long as I'm on the same wavelength with them, I can coach as ...
WOODY HAYES I lost the ball game.
WOODY HAYES If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN In the courtroom, it's where a lawyer really becomes an actor. There's a very fine line betw...
WOODY HARRELSON This land is your land, this land is my land, From California to the New York Island. From the redwo...
WOODY GUTHRIE I used to have Bible studies at my house. I was in the choir. I was mischievous but also a real mama...
WOODY HARRELSON God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN We've killed a million Iraqis since the start of the Gulf war - mostly by blocking humanitarian ...
WOODY HARRELSON Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN I used to have terrible acne on my face: red, splotchy discoloration. And mucus - I was constantly b...
WOODY HARRELSON Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN When I'm in New York, I bike everywhere. I have a couple of bikes stored over at Ed Norton's...
WOODY HARRELSON Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN When I had just started 'Cheers,' my nerves were ajangle, to put it mildly. I was absolutely...
WOODY HARRELSON Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN If you play more than two chords, you're showing off.
WOODY GUTHRIE Take it easy, but take it.
WOODY GUTHRIE To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN Violence was almost an aphrodisiac for me.
WOODY HARRELSON Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN There's a smugness that goes with being a huge company. The big fish say, 'If it's so gr...
WOODY NORRIS The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN I try to apply the organic concept to my clothes and bedding as well. There's nothing like swimm...
WOODY HARRELSON I'm an anarchist and I do think things such as Occupy Wall Street are about getting a little clo...
WOODY HARRELSON If you manage to stop the timber industry from cutting this forest, they'll cut that forest. If ...
WOODY HARRELSON I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN The giant industries that are polluting our planet as well as violating human rights worldwide are t...
WOODY HARRELSON Pesticides came about after the first world war. Some brainy petrochemical money maker said, 'He...
WOODY HARRELSON I related to his disillusionment. Thinking that he was going for this big dream. Then he kind of saw...
WOODY HARRELSON I never was disillusioned with acting because I love acting.
WOODY HARRELSON Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN A grownup is a child with layers on.
WOODY HARRELSON It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN