There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me.
ANDY KAUFMAN Pure entertainment is not an egotistical lady singing boring songs onstage for two hours and people ...
ANDY KAUFMAN When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my...
ANDY KAUFMAN I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut-or get angry fr...
ANDY KAUFMAN When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my room.
ANDY KAUFMAN My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didn't think little boys should...
ANDY KAUFMAN I never told a joke in my life.
ANDY KAUFMAN I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut - or get angry ...
ANDY KAUFMAN There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me.
ANDY KAUFMAN Whenever I play a role, whether it's good or bad, an evil person or nice person, I believe in being ...
ANDY KAUFMAN That was part of the whole original concept. We were thinking, it's off-season, let's do a really fu...
ANDY KAUFMAN The critics try to intellectualize my materiel. There's no satire involved. Satire is a concept that...
ANDY KAUFMAN If I play my cards right, I could bring network wrestling back to TV. Unfortunately, to most people,...
ANDY KAUFMAN Pure entertainment is not an egotistical lady singing boring songs onstage for two hours and people ...
ANDY KAUFMAN I try to please people, to give them a good time, but I refuse to make my act conform to traditional...
ANDY KAUFMAN What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.
ANDY KAUFMAN While all the other kids were out playing ball and stuff, I used to stay in my room and imagine that...
ANDY KAUFMAN My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didn't think little boys sh...
ANDY KAUFMAN Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ig...
MARGO KAUFMAN Interviewer: So. Tell me about your mother.
Ezra: You're taping this, right?
Interviewer: ...
AMIE KAUFMAN Only things the dreamers make live on. They are the eternal conquerors.
HERBERT KAUFMAN Failure is only postponed success as long as courage coaches ambition. The habit of persistence is t...
HERBERT KAUFMAN I would be willing to bet that if one day a woman walked barefoot to the moon and back and a man cle...
MARGO KAUFMAN Education is not a product: mark, diploma, job, money in that order; it is a process, a never ending...
BEL KAUFMAN I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to 'make them a...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN The dean of the American Film Institute has written that I'm one of the very few auteurs in Amer...
LLOYD KAUFMAN I think that people have expectations of themselves and other people that are based on these fiction...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN When I'm writing, I'm trying to immerse myself in the chaos of an emotional experience, rath...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I have a personality that tends to be somewhat compulsive, and I do tend to think in a circular way....
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Dislike is much easier to handle than sympathy.
AMIE KAUFMAN I believe that independent film making is the last frontier of creative expression available. So I&#...
LLOYD KAUFMAN What's really interesting about that is that a lot of these words that were incendiary in their ...
PHILIP KAUFMAN But in the early 1970s, we were not birdwatching. We were birding, and that made all the difference....
KENN KAUFMAN Makers of empire, they have fought for bigger things than crowns and higher seats than thrones.
HERBERT KAUFMAN It occurred to me that every work of art is a synecdoche, there's no way around it. Every creati...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I am frequently underestimated. I think it's because I'm short.
AMIE KAUFMAN I should have told you I loved you every day. I should have given you the stars.
AMIE KAUFMAN I do have, at different times, a certain kind of self-consciousness in the world, an insecurity.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Forget everything else. Forget everyone else. You're exactly my kind of girl.
AMIE KAUFMAN Wisdom is the reward for a lifetime of listening ... when you'd have preferred to talk. -D.J. Kaufm...
D.J. KAUFMAN The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
MARGO KAUFMAN Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN We are what we love, not what loves us.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was.
MARGO KAUFMAN I once complained to my father that I didn't seem to be able to do things the same way other people ...
MARGO KAUFMAN I'm not into extreme sports or something. I just live a quiet life.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I think you just assume that your memory is just sort of a video playback of your experience, but it...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I hate a movie that will end by telling you that the first thing you should do is learn to love your...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN It's about this guy who finds out that his girlfriend of two years has had this surgical procedure w...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN In our racist, sexist society, Christmas is the eight hours when we stop killing each other and grat...
LLOYD KAUFMAN I do like escapism. I like going to the movies on a Friday night and seeing something fun.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Are you afraid?"

"Yes."

"Energy never stops, remember. It just changes forms."...
AMIE KAUFMAN I don't think it's something to be portrayed in a positive way down at the Oceanfront where we're tr...
ADAM KAUFMAN Everybody has had labs where you can do testing.
ADAM KAUFMAN The winning team recognized the attack before the other ones. You had to send e-mail to the judges t...
ADAM KAUFMAN So when I write characters and situations and relationships, I try to sort of utilize what I know ab...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Whereas European films have traditionally been able to go into adult relationships. I think there...
PHILIP KAUFMAN If you're cutting corners on things, someone may blow the whistle on you.
ALAN KAUFMAN A discharged employee leaves unhappy. Many people who are discharged, first thing they do is open th...
ALAN KAUFMAN When we are running full out, we average around 35 million gallons (of water) a week. Annually, we c...
ALEX KAUFMAN It's basically a typical eastern weather hiccup. This one definitely had some power behind it.
ALEX KAUFMAN That puts a smile on my face.
ALEX KAUFMAN I know a thousand different smiles, each with its own nuanced shade of meaning, but I don't know how...
AMIE KAUFMAN the code of a world he'd never been invited to join.
ANDREW KAUFMAN I look forward to coming in and cooking everyday. It just comes naturally.
ANDREW KAUFMAN When I was 30, I said 'enough of this. I decided it was time to grow up.
ANDREW KAUFMAN Exchanging ideas and techniques is motivating. There's always something new to learn.
ANDREW KAUFMAN There has been no global improvement on average. The average quality of governance worldwide has rem...
DANIEL KAUFMAN George Bush was called a lap dog for Ronald Reagan. You have to overcome that. You have to overcome ...
RON KAUFMAN I'm old enough, by a long shot, to remember going to the library and spending days researching. ...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Eddie Beauchamp and Gordon Harrison have long served the University System of Georgia in a number of...
DANIEL KAUFMAN We look forward to a long-term partnership with W. P. Carey and appreciate the flexibility this tran...
BOB KAUFMAN I'm from the '60s, but no one has ever accused me of being a hippie. I never had much intere...
LLOYD KAUFMAN I'm interested in stories about people as we knew them in the near-recent future.
PHILIP KAUFMAN We want to offer families the opportunity to rehabilitate their communities.
DAVID KAUFMAN It reinforced what we were already doing.
CARYN KAUFMAN If there was any visage of bipartisanship left in this governor, I think he's just about put a nail ...
GALE KAUFMAN They are always very lax about putting restrictions on violence for children's movies, which I t...
PHILIP KAUFMAN We're going to get a pump here. This water is not going anywhere here.
CAROLE KAUFMAN I would be willing to bet that if one day a woman walked barefoot to the moon and back and a man cle...
MARGO KAUFMAN Of course, the Meryl Streep in the play is nothing like the real Meryl, and the proof of that is tha...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I must admit, there's a little bit of 'this guy smells like a winner.' And that's aiding, I think, t...
RON KAUFMAN This is not a matter of whether David Kaufman is right or wrong: It's a matter of whether the judici...
DAVID KAUFMAN This is based on a presumption that they actually know what was going on in the Capitol, and they do...
GALE KAUFMAN My role was to break in and crash their servers. It gave them a taste of what an attack is like.
ADAM KAUFMAN These things are important to me, these things I write. I recognize and embrace the notion of collab...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I'm not a celebrity. I'm intentionally and defiantly not a celebrity. I don't have any interest in i...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN It makes no sense if the NCAA really wants to cease the racial stereotyping inherent in the use of N...
STEPHEN KAUFMAN We live in sort of like a bowl, like a mini New Orleans, so it's a big mess. Everything is under wat...
CAROLE KAUFMAN It makes no sense if the NCAA really wants to cease the racial stereotyping inherent in the use of N...
STEPHEN KAUFMAN This means you have to negotiate the discharge. Negotiate it so that in return for [pay or benefit] ...
ALAN KAUFMAN [under pressure to keep speech brief] Thanks to the Academy. 29 seconds. 27 seconds. That's really i...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN The thing I find about the movie industry is that 99 percent of the people are absolute scum. They&#...
LLOYD KAUFMAN We really think that one tall, thin building is better than two smaller buildings.
WILLIAM KAUFMAN The mayor is satisfied with that assurance.
CARYN KAUFMAN There were a few bidders who won, but could not close, for whatever reason. But that will happen.
CARYN KAUFMAN We feel it was a real success.
CARYN KAUFMAN Philips is a very large Dell customer, and we have a very strong relationship that will continue in ...
BOB KAUFMAN We are always evaluating different technologies and various relationships on behalf of our customers...
BOB KAUFMAN Steven has a role in one of the spots for that campaign. His participation in the Interns spots is r...
BOB KAUFMAN We have a new campaign that started in the past couple of days, called Interns.
BOB KAUFMAN Steven has a role in one of the spots for that campaign. His participation in the Interns spots is r...
BOB KAUFMAN We have a new campaign that started in the past couple of days, called Interns,
BOB KAUFMAN I want to personally thank all the participants in this outing for providing a record amount of supp...
BOB KAUFMAN I'm sure there are folks out there somewhere who are working on that now,
BOB KAUFMAN The sprint car challenge is a one-of-a-kind show,
BOB KAUFMAN We're going to be in the national limelight.
CARYN KAUFMAN Numbers do not feel. Do not bleed or weep or hope. They do not know bravery or sacrifice. Love or al...
AMIE KAUFMAN You are what you love, not what loves you.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whateverdepths they were once able to...
STANLEY KAUFMAN It's an affirmation of the direction the city was heading. The purpose was to have outside experts t...
CARYN KAUFMAN Very often, anti-corruption commissions are a politically expedient response to domestic and interna...
DANIEL KAUFMAN Failure is only postponed success as long as courage ''coaches'' ambition. The habit of persistence ...
HERBERT KAUFMAN Failure is only postponed success as long as courage 'coaches' ambition. The habit of persistence is...
HERBERT KAUFMAN Rich men's sons are seldom rich men's fathers
HERBERT KAUFMAN Words signify man's refusal to accept the world as it is
HERBERT KAUFMAN I don't know how we're ever going to get this back together.
CAROLE KAUFMAN Oh man, oh boy what a mess.
CAROLE KAUFMAN Sideways.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN CLEMENTINE: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
JOEL: I know.
CLEMENTINE: What d...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I was trying to figure out what a memory feels like.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I want to try it to see what it's like and see what my stuff looks like when I take it from inceptio...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN My time on the set is the least of my involvement. Most of my time is in pre-production and post-pro...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Nowadays they either want to move the film to Canada or in some cases they go to Prague or Romania o...
PHILIP KAUFMAN I think of myself as a guy who tries to write screenplays and now has tried to direct one. Anything ...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Don’t look at your data through rose-colored glasses: always strive to be honest with yourself abo...
JOSH KAUFMAN The decker these ***holes brought with them is top tier, but I'm going to stomp his jelly beans so h...
AMIE KAUFMAN ...your zeal to face life's rough and tumble, your ardor to accept the responsibilities of adulthood...
MILLARD KAUFMAN We firmly believe that he never would have been convicted had the court not given this instruction, ...
DAVID KAUFMAN Sometimes you take all my words away from me.
AMIE KAUFMAN That's a little homage in a way to that and also to create that sort of creepy atmosphere that H...
PHILIP KAUFMAN I'm trying to tell a story and do it truthfully.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I have ideas written down some places, but usually I can't find them. I'm not very organized...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Writing is a journey into the unknown.
CHARLIE KAUFMAN And now, born from the ashes, she’s a warrior in bloodied black.
AMIE KAUFMAN I'm buried beneath an avalanche of papers, I don't understand the language of the country, and what ...
BEL KAUFMAN How can you wish on a turkey wishbone with a man who is capable of correcting a love letter?
BEL KAUFMAN I AM NOT. AND THEN I AM. I WONDER IF THAT WAS DEATH.
AMIE KAUFMAN I think if I've worked anything through with screenwriting it's that I'm not going to be...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I don't think screenwriting is therapeutic. It's actually really, really hard for me. It'...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I actually think I'm probably more interested in structure than most people who write screenplay...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I think I've had pretty good experiences for the most part with the people who have directed my ...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I do have some theatrical background. I've written plays and seen plays and read plays. But I al...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN There's this inherent screenplay structure that everyone seems to be stuck on, this three-act th...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN In the first few years it was kind of like the Wild West. Organizations changed the way they documen...
DAVID KAUFMAN [Don and Tom] seemed like an odd couple at first. Don was a patent lawyer and Tom was a complete ner...
DAVID KAUFMAN But I get the feeling that my congregation won't want to move. They love where we are in the city, t...
DAVID KAUFMAN I'm not going to rule out anything,
DAVID KAUFMAN Some of them are pretty heavy,
DAVID KAUFMAN You and I share the same DNA.
Is there anything more lonely than that?
CHARLIE KAUFMAN I like fun Beer Markets and the markets we are in now are fun to be in. We're having a blast promoti...
CRAIG KAUFMAN I like fun Beer Markets and the markets we are in now are fun to be in. We're having a blast promoti...
CRAIG KAUFMAN We're really not a Chinese beer, but more of a Euro-Asian Beer. Macau Beer was actually founded by a...
CRAIG KAUFMAN I tend to not only read reviews, but also every little stupid thing online. It's a very bad idea...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN There's no way to approach anything in an objective way. We're completely subjective; our vi...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Numbers do not feel. Do not bleed or weep or hope. They do not know bravery or sacrifice. Love and a...
AMIE KAUFMAN Words signify man's refusal to accept the world as it is.
HERBERT KAUFMAN Okay, there's this thing you can do, a thing you can do like no other person on this planet. That ma...
ANDREW KAUFMAN All the people named Dan Kaufman who I find online seem to be short, balding Jewish men with glasses...
DAN KAUFMAN There's a lot of people running around helping other people get their vehicles started. I'm keeping ...
DAN KAUFMAN My roommate at Yale University introduced me to the auteur theory of filmmaking. I soon became a big...
LLOYD KAUFMAN His eyes move to my lips, and I know he’s thinking the same thing; I can feel it in the way the ai...
AMIE KAUFMAN What does it mean?” Flynn turns to gaze at me, eyes finally meeting mine.

I find myself...
AMIE KAUFMAN My breath catches, responding to an unfamiliar pull in my chest, an ache in my soul. I shouldn’t m...
AMIE KAUFMAN He can’t take his eyes off the stars, but I can’t take mine off his face. I can see the stars re...
AMIE KAUFMAN He can’t take his eyes off the stars, but I can’t take mine off his face.
AMIE KAUFMAN And I liked this extreme character of de Sade.
PHILIP KAUFMAN Whatever you think of de Sade, he was a complex figure and we should not look for easy answers with ...
PHILIP KAUFMAN We are engaged in a very serious campaign over all of these initiatives and they are all failing, .....
GALE KAUFMAN This is the first election that's about him .
GALE KAUFMAN Why would they do that? They know he's failing.
GALE KAUFMAN There is so much anger about the governor holding this election that we're not worried about turnout...
GALE KAUFMAN This governor is spending $80 million of taxpayer money on an election that voters resoundingly have...
GALE KAUFMAN I think it means what we've been saying all along - the governor's initiatives are not real reform. ...
GALE KAUFMAN It's a phony election that he creates on issues that every poll says voters don't care about and he'...
GALE KAUFMAN We were just delighted to have (Lewin).
GREG KAUFMAN We wanted to promote civic engagement and to use the cultural arts to diversify the educational expe...
GREG KAUFMAN From Dec. 1 to May 15, you have to drive your boat completely different.
GREG KAUFMAN Data is very helpful in writing grant proposals to get funding for subsequent surveys. We certainly ...
GREGG KAUFMAN After a lot of helpful conversation among faculty and students in the School of Health Sciences and ...
GREGG KAUFMAN The Coverdell Institute is lodged in academic affairs and we serve to promote civic engagement and h...
GREGG KAUFMAN In our racist, sexist society, Christmas is the 8 hours when we stop killing each other and gratutio...
LLOYD KAUFMAN Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a mil...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Clear skies, cousin". Good luck, he means. There are never clear skies on Avon, no blue, no stars. B...
AMIE KAUFMAN But when there's no hope to be found anywhere, even the tiniest chance is worth taking.
AMIE KAUFMAN Am I not merciful?
AMIE KAUFMAN You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies.

You have me.
AMIE KAUFMAN You're talking about a potential commitment almost to the level of the financial commitment we're pu...
HUGH KAUFMAN I believe EPA did not do that because they knew it would come up not safe and so they are involved i...
HUGH KAUFMAN Official U.S. government policy in the Clinton administration is to grow food chain crops --the food...
HUGH KAUFMAN The reason for the the absence of the government agencies, I believe, is because they are participat...
HUGH KAUFMAN The danger is actually worse when the water goes away, because you have hazardous materials more con...
HUGH KAUFMAN Meet me in Montauk...
CHARLIE KAUFMAN Archie has a breadth of knowledge gained from serving on various boards over the years and is partic...
IVAN KAUFMAN Our strong fourth-quarter earnings results reflect the solid growth of our portfolio and the quality...
IVAN KAUFMAN If for some reason the system does not run properly, the Water Pollution Control Authority has the r...
HOWARD KAUFMAN The chemical is very safe but very effective. We would then go back and see if it was making a comeb...
HOWARD KAUFMAN Margaret Welch from the Department of Environmental Protection said that she would like that to be a...
HOWARD KAUFMAN I am struck by a realization: a computer will perform a takeoff or landing with all the grace of a p...
AMIE KAUFMAN