There isn’t a parallel of latitude but thinks it would have been the equator if it had had its rights.


Mark Twain

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Something did happen, and I really don't feel proud of it.
DEYTH BANGER
There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.
MARK TWAIN
If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone.
PETER FALK
There is a huge question mark. If there is, if people had a tiny bit of immunity, the vaccine would ...
JIM ROBERTSON
There is a huge question mark. If there is, if people had a tiny bit of immunity, the vaccine would ...
DR JIM ROBERTSON
Mark Twain had a way of telling stories that shifts your consciousness away from labels.
VAL KILMER
If the fish had not opened its mouth, it would not have been caught.
UNKNOWN
If the fish had not opened its mouth, it would not have been caught
PROVERB
Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll li...
DICK VAN DYKE
And if there had been more of the world, They would have reached it
LUIS DE CAMOES
Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'l...
DICK VAN DYKE
If you want to find something with an equation, you must start thinking like a person who have it.
DEYTH BANGER
If it had been a year it would have been too soon. But, it's been a little while.
HERMAN MOORE
If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this co...
KINKY FRIEDMAN
Color had been made the mark of enslavement and was taken to be also the mark of inferiority; for pr...
WILLIAM PICKENS
[If it had counted], it would have been a hell of a finish.
GREG CRONIN
Confound it, it's foolish, Tom
MARK TWAIN
Saudi had been a very restricted place. Even on the magazines there, if there was a little leg or cl...
KARAN SINGH GROVER
If it had gone in, it would have been a goal.
BARRY DAVIES
If there had been leaves on the trees, I don't think she would have made it.
ANDREW THOMPSON
If the INS had stuck with its earlier position that it was a case about custody ... then everyone wo...
CONNIE MACK
Mark Twain: A Life
RON POWERS
Mark Twain.
FRIENDS
If it had been possible to build the Tower of Babel without climbing it, it would have been permitte...
FRANZ KAFKA
I, Mark Twain being of sound mind, have spent everything
MARK TWAIN
It would have been a bit more lively if it had been in people's native tongue.
DEBRA KOCHER
It would have been a major disaster if the bag had fallen open.
WILLIAM HAGUE
Hell had been his Vietnam. It had stamped its mark on him for all eternity, and no amount of denial ...
JOE SCHREIBER
We had a lot of the momentum, but we just came up against a very physical team and every time there ...
TREVOR ADAIR
If the rate of expansion one second after the Big Bang had been smaller by even one part in a hundre...
STEPHEN HAWKING
If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
If we had this inadequate of a response to an event we were warned about, how much worse would it ha...
SUSAN COLLINS
There is not only no free state which would now establish it, but there is no slave state, which, if...
WILLIAM H. SEWARD
The doctor said it would have been horrible if he had fought,
BERND BOENTE
If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator ---- It would be a good idea...
UNKNOWN
If it had been 33-23 the other way, there would have been no questions about parliamentary procedure...
RAY ZABORNEY
Maybe it would have been a murder conviction instead of a capital murder conviction if this had been...
ROBERT ROSENBERG
If you want to meet Mark Twain, all you have to do is use your brain!
STEVE RAY COLLINS
We would have been skeptical if we had not seen it.
LINDA EPPLEY
We needed some luck to make the playoffs, but it was too late. We ran out of time. ... If we would h...
CARLOS BOOZER
We were right there, and we had our chances. If we had made our free throws, it would have been an e...
JULIE MATHENY
When I then turned toward the scriptures, they appeared to me to be quite unworthy to be compared wi...
AUGUSTINE OF HIPPO
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN
If I would have had a clot come through there, it would have been all over. I was probably a heartbe...
HARVEY GREENE
Mark Twain put it best when he said, 'Reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated,
BILL BRADLEY
If this had happened in the third week of September, it would have been sheer chaos,
DAVID MARSHALL
If that rascal had tumbled down, it would have been all over,
BOB MORTON
It's not as expensive as it would have been had if, say we had a really cold January or if we were h...
ED LEGGE
This is the kind of platform we've been looking for a long time. Libraries digitize their stuff and ...
DANIEL GREENSTEIN
This is the kind of platform we've been looking for a long time, ... Libraries digitize their stuff ...
DANIEL GREENSTEIN
It would have been neat if we had (the titles) at the same time.
JAY RESO
Mark Twain cannot be defined.
HAL HOLBROOK
But that is the way we are made: we don't reason, where we feel; we just feel.
MARK TWAIN
It's been a huge challenge. But that's the beauty of it. If it had been easy to hear, it wouldn't ha...
LOU MCFADIN
I won't say that the papers misquote me, but I sometimes wonder where Christianity would be today if...
BARRY GOLDWATER
The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would no...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
If I had had a chance to tour with Van Halen before the record, I think it would have been a differe...
GARY CHERONE
A hypocritical businessman, whose fortune had been the misfortune of many others, told Mark Twain pi...
MARK TWAIN
If it had been a profit-maker and good for the students, then we probably would have kept it.
LYNNE BAKER
If we would have civilization and the exertion indispensable to its success, we must have property; ...
JAMES FENIMORE COOPER
There was an awfully strong reaction on Friday because if the attack had been successful it would ha...
BILL O'GRADY
We would not have been put in this position if it had not been for the actions of Charles Sawyer.
BOB MARSHALL
Imagine if we had stopped science in 1904. Yes, there would have been no nerve gas and no Bhopal, bu...
HARRY KROTO
stupidity isn’t punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.
LAURELL K. HAMILTON
I think that would have been a fair criticism that would have had more weight if it came a month ago...
LENNY ALCIVAR
Montana would have been better off in the long run if it had never mined copper at all but had just ...
JARED DIAMOND
Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain...
BIBLE
There it was: a full confession. Sherlock Holmes had done it again, and as I marveled at my devastat...
PAUL AUSTER
On vanity: The nose of Cleopatra: if it had been shorter, the face of the earth would have changed.
BLAISE PASCAL
If we had lost today we would have definitely been out because they would have been 10 points ahead ...
CALVERT FITZGERALD
The thing that hurt us was lack of people. If we had numbers, it would have been a different match.
DAVID KERR
America's Facebook generation shows a submission to standardization that I haven't seen befo...
JARON LANIER
I would have been disqualified several times before if it had been enforced like this, definitely.
GRANT HACKETT
I think if I had just knocked the ball down, it would have been over.
EDDIE HOUSE
If it wasn't for R-CALF, folks, we would have been taking not just cattle but beef from a country th...
LEO MCDONNELL
Guys get frustrated like Frankie did, and I understand that, ... If it had taken place out of sight,...
ADRIAN BELTRE
If I had been more self-conscious about being a woman, it would have stifled me.
MARISSA MAYER
Since God had commanded it, it was necessary that I do it. Since God commanded it, even if I had a h...
JOAN OF ARC
Being able to walk under their own power saved the day. If it had been an injury situation, we would...
BUTCH KNOWLTON
Had the wall not been there, you walked into a huge expanse of a room. To help it make its own state...
JENNIFER OWENS
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you...
MARK TWAIN
I read from Mark Twain's lips one or two of his good stories. He has his own way of thinking, saying...
HELEN KELLER
His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the wh...
MARK TWAIN
The Clinton era is over. I think that there would even have been a certain amount of rejoicing among...
TUCKER CARLSON
If we had gotten to play our first games, it would have been better.
FRANK REED
Progress would not have been the rarity it is if the early food had not been the late poison.
WALTER BAGEHOT
I won't say that the papers misquote me, but I sometimes wonder where Christianity would be toda...
BARRY GOLDWATER
Mark it. The success of people may excite you. But the challenges they went through to achieve it wi...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR
Apple Computer would not have reached its current peak of success if it had feared to roll the dice ...
NAVEEN JAIN
It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.
JOHN STEINBECK
There are several things I think I would have done if I had the chance again. I would have been a li...
FRANK SINATRA
Without amendments we would never even have had the Bill of Rights.
ADRIAN CRONAUER
It would be comparable if we could ever pull this thing off, it would be a lot of parallel lines to ...
PAUL KONERKO
If I had to say there is a favorite, it would have to be Glendive.
BRODIE KELLY
Karl Marx's Mother: If Karl, instead of writing a lot about capital, had made a lot of it ... it wo...
UNKNOWN
Instead of taking the cyst out they just clipped it. That relieved the pressure and it's never grown...
MARTHA MILES
If I had chosen the populist course, it would have been a breach of the trust placed in me by the pe...
NARENDRA MODI
The game could have been a lot closer, but then again in the first half, if we had taken advantage o...
GRAHAM WHITEHOUSE
If it's 45 and cloudy, the wind doesn't dry it as fast as you'd like. We need some warm days. But it...
STEVE HELM

More Mark Twain

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MARK TWAIN
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
MARK TWAIN
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha...
MARK TWAIN
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
MARK TWAIN
India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ...
MARK TWAIN
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
MARK TWAIN
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
MARK TWAIN
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig...
MARK TWAIN
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
MARK TWAIN
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
MARK TWAIN
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs...
MARK TWAIN
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one...
MARK TWAIN
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
MARK TWAIN
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti...
MARK TWAIN
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
MARK TWAIN
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
MARK TWAIN
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
MARK TWAIN
Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
MARK TWAIN
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
MARK TWAIN
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
MARK TWAIN
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
MARK TWAIN
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside...
MARK TWAIN
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MARK TWAIN
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MARK TWAIN
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
MARK TWAIN
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
MARK TWAIN
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN
All generalizations are false, including this one.
MARK TWAIN
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba...
MARK TWAIN
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
MARK TWAIN
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
MARK TWAIN
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
MARK TWAIN
If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half.
MARK TWAIN
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ...
MARK TWAIN
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B...
MARK TWAIN
When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu...
MARK TWAIN
The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly...
MARK TWAIN
By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec...
MARK TWAIN
So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
MARK TWAIN
The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes...
MARK TWAIN
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w...
MARK TWAIN
The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff...
MARK TWAIN
Say the report is exaggerated.
MARK TWAIN
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ...
MARK TWAIN
To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.
MARK TWAIN
I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ...
MARK TWAIN
A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t...
MARK TWAIN
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st...
MARK TWAIN
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi...
MARK TWAIN
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to...
MARK TWAIN
We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ...
MARK TWAIN
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN
All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people...
MARK TWAIN
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find...
MARK TWAIN
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood...
MARK TWAIN
As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
MARK TWAIN
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol...
MARK TWAIN
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than...
MARK TWAIN
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst...
MARK TWAIN
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
MARK TWAIN
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
MARK TWAIN
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ...
MARK TWAIN
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
MARK TWAIN
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal...
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
MARK TWAIN
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
MARK TWAIN
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
MARK TWAIN
To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
MARK TWAIN
Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
MARK TWAIN
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse...
MARK TWAIN
Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ...
MARK TWAIN
There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha...
MARK TWAIN
Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
MARK TWAIN
Necessity is the mother of "taking chances"
MARK TWAIN
Distance lends enchantment to the view
MARK TWAIN
Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN
Chastity - you can carry it too far
MARK TWAIN
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
MARK TWAIN
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN
When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many...
MARK TWAIN
Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN
I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin...
MARK TWAIN
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...
MARK TWAIN
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material...
MARK TWAIN
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no...
MARK TWAIN
There is a great deal of human nature in people.
MARK TWAIN
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
MARK TWAIN
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
MARK TWAIN
The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat...
MARK TWAIN
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th...
MARK TWAIN
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
MARK TWAIN
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t...
MARK TWAIN
Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
MARK TWAIN
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th...
MARK TWAIN
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
MARK TWAIN
Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,...
MARK TWAIN
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
MARK TWAIN
I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas...
MARK TWAIN
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i...
MARK TWAIN
Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us...
MARK TWAIN
Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
MARK TWAIN
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
MARK TWAIN
I do not like work even when someone else does it.
MARK TWAIN
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig...
MARK TWAIN
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
MARK TWAIN
Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
MARK TWAIN
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
MARK TWAIN
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ...
MARK TWAIN
When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
MARK TWAIN
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
MARK TWAIN
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
MARK TWAIN
We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum...
MARK TWAIN
There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
MARK TWAIN
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he...
MARK TWAIN
There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were...
MARK TWAIN
People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
MARK TWAIN
My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ...
MARK TWAIN
When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te...
MARK TWAIN
In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
MARK TWAIN
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.
MARK TWAIN
The lack of money is the root of all evils.
MARK TWAIN
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
MARK TWAIN
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures...
MARK TWAIN
All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ...
MARK TWAIN
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini...
MARK TWAIN
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m...
MARK TWAIN
There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence.
MARK TWAIN
It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech...
MARK TWAIN
There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
MARK TWAIN
War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no...
MARK TWAIN
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe...
MARK TWAIN
To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his...
MARK TWAIN
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
MARK TWAIN
A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
MARK TWAIN
A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.
MARK TWAIN
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b...
MARK TWAIN
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
MARK TWAIN
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati...
MARK TWAIN
Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe...
MARK TWAIN
Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million.
MARK TWAIN
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar...
MARK TWAIN
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
MARK TWAIN
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro...
MARK TWAIN
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN
It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN
Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al...
MARK TWAIN
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).
MARK TWAIN
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di...
MARK TWAIN
A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going...
MARK TWAIN
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment...
MARK TWAIN
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca...
MARK TWAIN
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r...
MARK TWAIN
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a...
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
MARK TWAIN
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall...
MARK TWAIN
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN
′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAIN
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
MARK TWAIN
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut...
MARK TWAIN
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.
MARK TWAIN
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ...
MARK TWAIN
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
MARK TWAIN
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
MARK TWAIN