Occasions are rare; and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer.
JOSH BILLINGS Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.
JOSH BILLINGS If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn't even eat hash with safety...
JOSH BILLINGS If it wasn't for faith, there would be no living in this world; we couldn't even eat hash with any s...
JOSH BILLINGS A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
JOSH BILLINGS Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
JOSH BILLINGS Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.
JOSH BILLINGS As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.
JOSH BILLINGS Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
JOSH BILLINGS I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's...
JOSH BILLINGS Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.
JOSH BILLINGS Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corr...
JOSH BILLINGS A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
JOSH BILLINGS If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectac...
JOSH BILLINGS Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he m...
JOSH BILLINGS Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
JOSH BILLINGS Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
JOSH BILLINGS A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
JOSH BILLINGS Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethe...
JOSH BILLINGS Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist -- it reduces him to...
JOSH BILLINGS The trouble with people is not that they dont know but that they know so much that aint so.
JOSH BILLINGS Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.
JOSH BILLINGS The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable...
JOSH BILLINGS To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.
JOSH BILLINGS I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
JOSH BILLINGS In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.
JOSH BILLINGS As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.
JOSH BILLINGS If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any sa...
JOSH BILLINGS There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
JOSH BILLINGS It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to...
JOSH BILLINGS Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.
JOSH BILLINGS I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
JOSH BILLINGS Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.
JOSH BILLINGS The trouble with most folks ain't so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain't so.
JOSH BILLINGS Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
JOSH BILLINGS There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
JOSH BILLINGS I don't care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words.
JOSH BILLINGS Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
JOSH BILLINGS Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, no...
JOSH BILLINGS Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
JOSH BILLINGS One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit nev...
JOSH BILLINGS Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
JOSH BILLINGS Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
JOSH BILLINGS Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
JOSH BILLINGS I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.
JOSH BILLINGS Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.
JOSH BILLINGS A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
JOSH BILLINGS Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.
JOSH BILLINGS About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgme...
JOSH BILLINGS Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing til...
JOSH BILLINGS If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy ...
JOSH BILLINGS To bring up a child in the way he should go -- travel that way yourself.
JOSH BILLINGS When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro...
JOSH BILLINGS The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
JOSH BILLINGS The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.
JOSH BILLINGS There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
JOSH BILLINGS It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter he...
JOSH BILLINGS It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
JOSH BILLINGS The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, t...
JOSH BILLINGS Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
JOSH BILLINGS The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his ...
JOSH BILLINGS Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
JOSH BILLINGS Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.
JOSH BILLINGS There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t.
JOSH BILLINGS Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.
JOSH BILLINGS The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.
JOSH BILLINGS Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
JOSH BILLINGS Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful t...
JOSH BILLINGS There's lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven't got time to enjoy ...
JOSH BILLINGS Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.
JOSH BILLINGS Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.
JOSH BILLINGS There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
JOSH BILLINGS One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
JOSH BILLINGS I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am ...
JOSH BILLINGS There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards?
JOSH BILLINGS There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
JOSH BILLINGS It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
JOSH BILLINGS Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
JOSH BILLINGS A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
JOSH BILLINGS When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.
JOSH BILLINGS The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
JOSH BILLINGS Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
JOSH BILLINGS Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.
JOSH BILLINGS Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
JOSH BILLINGS Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
JOSH BILLINGS There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
JOSH BILLINGS There is [sic] two things in life for which we are never fully prepared, and that is--twins.
JOSH BILLINGS A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
JOSH BILLINGS It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can't dodge...
JOSH BILLINGS Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
JOSH BILLINGS Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool
JOSH BILLINGS Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed
JOSH BILLINGS There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly en...
JOSH BILLINGS Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once.
JOSH BILLINGS Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
JOSH BILLINGS A slander is like a hornet; if you can't kill it dead the first time, better not strike at it.
JOSH BILLINGS I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I ...
JOSH BILLINGS The less we know the more we suspect.
JOSH BILLINGS My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnet, the journey of life, is to take their heart in...
JOSH BILLINGS The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
JOSH BILLINGS Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed ...
JOSH BILLINGS The man who ain't got an enemy is really poor.
JOSH BILLINGS If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy...
JOSH BILLINGS Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it ge...
JOSH BILLINGS Our necessities are few but our wants are endless.
JOSH BILLINGS As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
JOSH BILLINGS Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
JOSH BILLINGS The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.
JOSH BILLINGS One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit n...
JOSH BILLINGS There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
JOSH BILLINGS Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
JOSH BILLINGS Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
JOSH BILLINGS There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.
JOSH BILLINGS There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
JOSH BILLINGS Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
JOSH BILLINGS Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
JOSH BILLINGS Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to h...
JOSH BILLINGS Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
JOSH BILLINGS If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost specta...
JOSH BILLINGS Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
JOSH BILLINGS One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
JOSH BILLINGS Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
JOSH BILLINGS The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
JOSH BILLINGS There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they hav...
JOSH BILLINGS There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
JOSH BILLINGS If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.
JOSH BILLINGS One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon...
JOSH BILLINGS The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores hi...
JOSH BILLINGS There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorr...
JOSH BILLINGS Those who enter heaven may find the outer walls plastered with creeds, but they won't find any on th...
JOSH BILLINGS If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn't even eat hash with safety.
JOSH BILLINGS My son, observe the postage stamp! Its usefulness depends upon its ability to stick to one thing unt...
JOSH BILLINGS No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
JOSH BILLINGS It may be risky to marry for love, but it's so honest that the Lord just has to smile on it.
JOSH BILLINGS One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.
JOSH BILLINGS Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he had got.
JOSH BILLINGS Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
JOSH BILLINGS Pity costs nothing, and it ain't worth nothing.
JOSH BILLINGS Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
JOSH BILLINGS Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one place.
JOSH BILLINGS Ive never known a person to live to one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
JOSH BILLINGS It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to comm...
JOSH BILLINGS I dont care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.
JOSH BILLINGS Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
JOSH BILLINGS It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.
JOSH BILLINGS Never work before breakfast. If you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first.
JOSH BILLINGS There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins.
JOSH BILLINGS A sekret ceases to be a sekret if it iz once confided - it iz like a dollar bill, once broken, it iz...
JOSH BILLINGS The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.
JOSH BILLINGS Credit is like chastity, they can both stand temptation better than suspicion
JOSH BILLINGS Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
JOSH BILLINGS If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
JOSH BILLINGS I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, an...
JOSH BILLINGS Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawf...
JOSH BILLINGS It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
JOSH BILLINGS It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours to...
JOSH BILLINGS A slander is like a hornet; if you cannot kill it dead the first blow, better not strike at it
JOSH BILLINGS Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once
JOSH BILLINGS The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves, but who think others are
JOSH BILLINGS In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worshi...
JOSH BILLINGS Confess your sins to the Lord, and you will be forgiven; confess them to men, and you will be laughe...
JOSH BILLINGS The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. -Josh Billin...
JOSH BILLINGS There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. -Josh Billings.
JOSH BILLINGS Most men had rather say a smart thing than do a good one. John P. Kotter, Leading Change -Josh Bill...
JOSH BILLINGS Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it get...
JOSH BILLINGS In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. -Josh Billings.
JOSH BILLINGS I've never known a person who lives to 110 who is remarkable for anything else.
JOSH BILLINGS Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal
JOSH BILLINGS The less we know the more we suspect
JOSH BILLINGS Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just, and four times he who gets his fist in fust
JOSH BILLINGS Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.
JOSH BILLINGS There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared and that is twins
JOSH BILLINGS To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
JOSH BILLINGS Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
JOSH BILLINGS Love iz like the meazles; we kant have it bad but onst, and the later in life we have it the tuffer ...
JOSH BILLINGS Confess your sins to the Lord, and you will be forgiven; confess them to men, and you will be laughe...
JOSH BILLINGS Laffing iz the sensation ov pheeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot
JOSH BILLINGS The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.
JOSH BILLINGS A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates
JOSH BILLINGS Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but contentment in his world, man w...
JOSH BILLINGS As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for
JOSH BILLINGS It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up...
JOSH BILLINGS Reason often makes mistakes but conscience never does.
JOSH BILLINGS The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust
JOSH BILLINGS I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.
JOSH BILLINGS Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well
JOSH BILLINGS Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined
JOSH BILLINGS Knowledge is like money: the more one gets, the more one craves.
JOSH BILLINGS Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
JOSH BILLINGS Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy a...
JOSH BILLINGS Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to
JOSH BILLINGS The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way
JOSH BILLINGS Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's ...
JOSH BILLINGS As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
JOSH BILLINGS Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well
JOSH BILLINGS Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.
JOSH BILLINGS The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.
JOSH BILLINGS Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.
JOSH BILLINGS the squeeky wheel gets the grease.
JOSH BILLINGS Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
JOSH BILLINGS