There are some days I'm looking at a kid eating a bag of chips, drinking a Mountain Dew at 7 o'clock in the morning.

Not drunk is he who from the floor - Can rise alone and still drink more; But drunk is They, who prostrate lies, Without the power to drink or rise

There are two reasons for drinking: one is, when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it

Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle? He was all for love and a little for the bottle.

"Wery good power o' suction, Sammy," said Mr. Weller the elder. . . . "You'd ha' made an uncommon fine oyster, Sammy, if you'd been born in that station o' life."

When I got up to the Peacock--where I found everybody drinking hot punch in self-preservation.