There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.