The Yankees won the pennant, we went on to the World Series, 41 years after that in the city of Toronto. The great city of Toronto, and all the provinces in Canada, everybody reached out and they were excited because we won the first World Series ever, across the border.
Dave Winfield
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a... NEIL GAIMAN I make mistakes. That's what I do. I speak without thinking, I act without knowing. I d... CANDACE BUSHNELL Now is the only time we have, and the only time that we have any control over. RICHARD CARLSON There is no longer a single idea explaining everything, but an infinite number of essences giving a ... ALBERT CAMUS Orion is above the horizon now, and near it Jupiter, brighter than it will ever be ... But i expect ... THOMAS HARRIS I don't think she's a lesbian. I think she just ran out of men. [Charlotte] SEX AND THE CITY Puberty is a phase... fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle. [Stanford] SEX AND THE CITY Oh my God, she's fashion road-kill! SEX AND THE CITY I love you, but I love myself more. SEX AND THE CITY Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had ne... SEX AND THE CITY Desperate Housewives. SEX AND THE CITY Sean (while ice-skating with Carrie): I'm guessing it's easier to balance when you're not smoking.Ca... SEX AND THE CITY I want you to look at me, connect with me. This is lovemaking, it's not a porno flick. [Maria] SEX AND THE CITY I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. 'I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. ... SEX AND THE CITY It's a slippery slope, Carrie. Without boundaries you never know what might happen. [Miranda] SEX AND THE CITY the sort of person who'd back Proposition 14. SEX AND THE CITY A stud is born! [Stanford] SEX AND THE CITY Maybe we should get married.[Charlotte] Alrighty.[Trey] SEX AND THE CITY My Zen teacher also said: the only way to true happiness is to live in the moment and not worry abou... SEX AND THE CITY Homeless to Harvard: The Liz Murray Story. SEX AND THE CITY No lady likes to dance or dine, accompanied by a porcupine. Burma Shave. SEX AND THE CITY What's the big mystery? It's my vagina, not the sphinx! [Miranda] SEX AND THE CITY the lights fade to black. SEX AND THE CITY Yeah, I would love to. I don't know if I'd do another singing one. SEX AND THE CITY Bellhop: "this is a non-smoking floor."Carrie: "I have an addiction sir!" SEX AND THE CITY F*** me badly once, shame on you. F*** me badly twice, shame on me. SEX AND THE CITY Hasty Pudding is no small potatoes (sorry to mix the food references), known for its famous alumni a... SEX AND THE CITY I knew I wanted a handbag, but they were so pricey. I love Marc Jacobs. SEX AND THE CITY All other documents in the Getty's possession that could in any way be relevant to the Italian inves... SEX AND THE CITY 'Rome' vital to HBO TV empire. SEX AND THE CITY Sex and the City. SEX AND THE CITY Suicide is not glamorous and should not be portrayed in a glamorous light. SEX AND THE CITY When an opportunity comes, I don't question it. I grab it, drop its ring on the nightstand and swing... SEX AND THE CITY Having money isn't the answer but it makes your life a hell of a lot nicer. If you have the choice t... SEX AND THE CITY Despite the fact that there are over eight million people on the island of Manhattan, there are time... SEX AND THE CITY When Charlotte really liked somebody she said their whole name. It helped her picture their future m... SEX AND THE CITY I love you but it's not my job to fix your finances. [Charlotte] SEX AND THE CITY It took me a really long time to get here, but I'm here. Carrie, you're the one. [Mr.Big] SEX AND THE CITY Life is not all about sex. [Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY When Charles Dickens wrote "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," I believe he must ... SEX AND THE CITY From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is. [Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. There was no one there. SEX AND THE CITY Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so hig... SEX AND THE CITY My character, she's kind of gotten away with her looks, gotten away with her ability to charm people... SEX AND THE CITY I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss - the perfect parent - or the perfect outfit. But... SEX AND THE CITY Charlotte: So how are you? Carrie: I'm good. How are you? Charlotte: Great. Carrie: I to... SEX AND THE CITY I had often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife. But in those fantasies, I was running ... SEX AND THE CITY From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be truehe probably is. [Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in... SEX AND THE CITY They practically chased me with torches like I was Fuckenstein! [Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY Middle-Age Girls Gone Wild. SEX AND THE CITY You in a threesome? You won't even wear a thong! [Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY The only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar. [Lucy Liu] SEX AND THE CITY It's my birthday. I'm officially old. [Carrie on her 35th Birthday] SEX AND THE CITY You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suctio... SEX AND THE CITY But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with your... SEX AND THE CITY Junkyard Wars. SEX AND THE CITY Kitchen SEX AND THE CITY Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely ... SEX AND THE CITY You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it. SEX AND THE CITY I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties. [Samanth... SEX AND THE CITY I’ve done the merry-go-round, I’ve been through the revolving doors, I feel like I’ve met some... SEX AND THE CITY There are no available men in their thirties in New York. Giuliani had them removed along with the h... SEX AND THE CITY Men in their forties are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and y... SEX AND THE CITY You wouldn't commit to a nice guy, given the option? [Carrie] I can't even commit to a long distance... SEX AND THE CITY She can reach me, but I can't ever get her. [Big] SEX AND THE CITY The Brady Bunch: The Complete Fourth Season SEX AND THE CITY Everybody wonders what happens after you die[Carrie] I'm too busy wondering who's dinging my car in ... SEX AND THE CITY Beverly Hills Cop II. SEX AND THE CITY It's not the beef, Henry. It's the last 23 years! SEX AND THE CITY I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it. SEX AND THE CITY Hi, Mrs. Collier. I'm a Jew now. How are you? [Charlotte] SEX AND THE CITY Ray. SEX AND THE CITY There was so much skin, it was like a shar-pei![Charlotte] SEX AND THE CITY I don't know what's going to happen to this street. Fairfax is not what it used to be. SEX AND THE CITY Really wanted a little baby to love, though not, obviously, weekend nanny to shag ex-husband. SEX AND THE CITY Lord of the Strings. SEX AND THE CITY The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship. ... SEX AND THE CITY Maybe the past is an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who ... SEX AND THE CITY Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone ju... SEX AND THE CITY Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something ... SEX AND THE CITY I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other ... SEX AND THE CITY Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself? SEX AND THE CITY When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be ca... SEX AND THE CITY It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special s... SEX AND THE CITY The Indians had to wait up to six months for a response. It took me six months to get the message th... SEX AND THE CITY It was a typical downtown male mix. Ten percent Wall Street, ten percent real estate, and ten percen... SEX AND THE CITY Lipstick, SEX AND THE CITY Someone once said that two halves make a whole. And when two halves move in together, it makes a who... SEX AND THE CITY Courtney (Showing Carrie her book cover): Let me talk you through it. Blurred background, aah, fast-... SEX AND THE CITY It takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them. SEX AND THE CITY Don't you want to stand still with me? SEX AND THE CITY I don't know. I moved to L.A. to be a rock star and a comedian, and now I'm a contributor to Cosmopo... SEX AND THE CITY I think it's romantic when someone offers me a seat on the subway. [Carrie] SEX AND THE CITY I don't see color, I see conquests.[Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several little fires... SEX AND THE CITY IT’S A FUNNY THING TO be the product of a fairy-tale romance. It’s another thing to think you mi... KIERA CASS Never doubt God in the darkness what he has given us in the light. FRANCINE RIVERS When Luke had descended into the River Styx, he would've had to focus on something important that wo... RICK RIORDAN
More Dave Winfield
Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD To give you an idea what it feels like to be going in with some of the best baseball players of all-... DAVE WINFIELD You know, heroes are ordinary people that have achieved extraordinary things in life. DAVE WINFIELD People I look to: again, Hank Aaron, man you challenged the status quo and the records of the game. ... DAVE WINFIELD There are a lot of people who influenced me, nurtured me, helped me along the way. But I can just re... DAVE WINFIELD All though I didn't meet him. His legend and his saga and his story is just that. Jackie Robinso... DAVE WINFIELD You have to go understand that life and baseball is littered with all kinds of obstacles and problem... DAVE WINFIELD These days baseball is different. You come to spring training, you get your legs ready, you arms loo... DAVE WINFIELD He didn't bask in fame or glory or the money he made. He relished in the notion that a little short ... DAVE WINFIELD Baseball realizes it's not the only game in town. You have to do these kinds of things to introduce ... DAVE WINFIELD Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD I never had to cheat, I get them with what I got. DAVE WINFIELD Good hitters don't just go up and swing. They always have a plan. Call it an educated deduction. You... DAVE WINFIELD Tom Cruise only makes one or two film appearances a year. A baseball player can be the hero or the g... DAVE WINFIELD The only players that are having fun are those having a good year, feasting on pitching or blowing d... DAVE WINFIELD He was the first person I met in pro ball because we both wore a size 14 shoe. He had interesting co... DAVE WINFIELD It won't taint (his memory). Leave it alone. DAVE WINFIELD You know, many of you kids can't relate to what it takes to get to the top rung, the top of the ... DAVE WINFIELD There is no way, believe me, despite my name being Winfield, and loving the game dearly. It wasn'... DAVE WINFIELD To the people out there, baseball is a simple sport. But it is complex. It is never easy. DAVE WINFIELD I chose baseball because to me baseball is the best game of all. DAVE WINFIELD And I found out, the other part of it is that I found out and in my desire to life successfully, tha... DAVE WINFIELD You have to be like a clock spring, wound but not loose at the same time. DAVE WINFIELD But I'll tell you this, it started with my mother. I have to give her. God bless her and rest he... DAVE WINFIELD The people like the American Legion Post that gave us a chance to play. A place to play and a chance... DAVE WINFIELD The sooner I get into the Hall of Fame the better. DAVE WINFIELD I am truly sorry that a fowl of Canada is no longer with us. DAVE WINFIELD Now it's on to May, and you know about me and May. DAVE WINFIELD He's a leader out there on the field. His team is going to go how he goes. If he's having a good gam... ANTOINE WINFIELD We didn't play well at all. Our offense gave us enough points to come out with a win. What hurt was ... ANTOINE WINFIELD Once we got hit in the mouth, we didn't know how to react. Coming in, they were the No. 1-rushing te... ANTOINE WINFIELD We could have easily folded. I mean, we're 1-4, we haven't been playing well, and we're down 17-0 at... ANTOINE WINFIELD You put pressure on him, and he gets happy feet back there. Then he's not as accurate. I think I wou... ANTOINE WINFIELD I really don't understand why they did that. He's a heck of a player. I understand the salary cap an... ANTOINE WINFIELD We didn't expect to be 1-3 at this point. But the good thing is, it's still a long season, and we're... ANTOINE WINFIELD It's tough to win in this league. We knew the situation. They had the No. 2 seed in the NFC locked u... ANTOINE WINFIELD For me, when I'm on the field, all I think about is what happening on the field. That's my outlet, t... ANTOINE WINFIELD I think we need to blitz and contain. Make sure we hold the edges. He's such a good athlete that, ev... ANTOINE WINFIELD We want to make sure it is on everybody's radar while the session is just beginning. BRIAN WINFIELD I think Albert's coming forward is incredibly courageous, and a rarity, if not a first. It's been pa... BRIAN WINFIELD We walked away with the expectation that charges would be forthcoming. I'm convinced that he (Ober) ... BRIAN WINFIELD We see it as a desperate attempt by a gubernatorial candidate who is behind in the polls and has mis... BRIAN WINFIELD There has been a whole new level of interaction. I have not seen the gay and lesbian community activ... BRIAN WINFIELD Caterpillar dun' become butterfly-caterpillar die so butterfly can be. A new thing. We all must let ... RYAN WINFIELD With the guys that we have ... there's no reason not to play man-to-man and get after the quarterbac... ANTOINE WINFIELD We feel bad for the Saints, but we're in a bad situation at 0-2. We can't go 0-3. A win cures everyt... ANTOINE WINFIELD It was tough. We didn't make the plays to get off the field and the offense didn't make plays to kee... ANTOINE WINFIELD There were definitely packages that we didn't even use last year. We have a lot more talent, a lot m... ANTOINE WINFIELD We've been real basic. I mean first and second down, a lot of zone. We might mix in a man-to-man eve... ANTOINE WINFIELD I know they were one play away from making the playoffs last year, ... Hopefully with my addition, I... ANTOINE WINFIELD When it came down to it, I just wasn't ready. I didn't want to rush, ANTOINE WINFIELD Brave rifles, veterans, you have been baptized in fire and blood and have come out steel! WINFIELD SCOTT Say to the seceded States: "Wayward sisters depart in peace." WINFIELD SCOTT We're really starting to see Microsoft gear up. Of course, the company was asleep at the wheel for a... CHRIS WINFIELD Alyssa had been working for an art source in Southern California as their Northern California repres... CHRIS WINFIELD I forgive him and like water draining from the sand after a wave, the power he held over me disappea... RYAN WINFIELD My politics are of a practical kind - the integrity of the country, the supremacy of the Federal gov... WINFIELD SCOTT HANCOCK only way to maximize potential for performance is to be calm in the mind. BRIAN WINFIELD SIPE I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ... DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But... DAVE ATTELL Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi... DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe... DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a... DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod... DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t... DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui... DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s... DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk. DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou... DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a... DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra... DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible. DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio... DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a... DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se... DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each... DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be... DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ... DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ... DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea... DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ... DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts. DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're... DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do... DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va... DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'... DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ... DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts.. Everything is ONE! DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY I'm so alive. As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte... DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr... DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi... DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on... DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu... DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church. DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth... DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l... DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee Making plans to change the world While the world is changing... DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En... DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time... DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me? DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit... DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ... DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading. DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long. DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b... DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o... DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be... DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula... DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ... DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told. DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ... DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ... DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in... DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went... DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo... DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon. DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ... DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer... DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p... DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they... DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst... DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas... DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y... DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h... DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa... DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta... DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe... DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason. DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ... DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza... DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won... DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu... DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute... DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort. DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th... DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys... DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit... DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ... DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c... DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo... DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa... DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ... DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi... DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i... DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up. DAVE CHECKETT You can't choose what you're famous for in life. DAVE KELLETT The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic... DAVE KELLETT A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea... DAVE MEURER Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The future is no place to place your better days. DAVE MATTHEWS Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per... DAVE KELLETT I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit... DAVE EGGERS Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri... DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a... DAVE EDMUNDS To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. DAVE BARRY American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi... DAVE BARRY