The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Verbing weirds language.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

It's impossible to get worse at something you do every day.

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin