The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets.


Jay Leno

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

As successful as Jay Leno is, Jay Leno hosting the Today' show wouldn't work.
BRUCE DUMONT
Before (the victims) knew it, their vehicle was riddled with bullets. They had no way to escape.
CRAIG HILL
But from each crime are born bullets that will one day seek out in you where the heart lies.
PABLO NERUDA
All Dr. King fought for is now just on paper, ... They used to use ropes to hang us. Now they use bu...
PHYLLIS MILLER
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.
ANGIE HARMON
It was incredible how strong the results were. The only things they have on their minds are guns, bu...
MARUAN ABDULLAH
Each year his mighty armies marched forth in gallant show, Their enemies were targets, their bulle...
PIERRE JEAN DE BERANGER
Bullets cannot be recalled. They cannot be uninvented. But they can be taken out of the gun.
MARTIN AMIS
Your mind is the trigger, words are the bullets & ears are the target. so think before your words co...
EMILY EATON
While this is a good alternative, these bullets are not available on the market. We have to be caref...
GREG AUSTIN
The Irish have to sort out their own concerns rather than fire bullets at us.
CLIVE GRIFFITHS
Whiskey has killed more men than bullets, but most men would rather be full of whiskey than bullets.
LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH
People want a smooth, comfortable atmosphere to go to. They want a condition every week that is clos...
BILL WENZEL
It really is a double-edged sword. If you are a manager or a candidate, you want to be there ... but...
STEVE JARDING
Their attitude is they don't want the team to get really good after they graduate. They want it to b...
BILL BOYD
Men, like bullets, go farthest when they are smoothest.
JEAN PAUL RICHTER
Men, like bullets, go farthest when they are smoothest.
JEAN PAUL
Men, like bullets, go farthest when they are smoothest
JEAN PAUL RICHTER
They all think the nuttier they are, the more likely they are to get on David Letterman or Jay Leno,...
BOOMER ESIASON
The words I'm singing now Mean nothing more than meow to an animal
THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS
The more bullets flying, the less accurate each individual slug has to be.
ANDREW VACHSS
Senators say they fear the N.R.A. and the gun lobby. But I think that fear must be nothing compared ...
GABRIELLE GIFFORDS
Kindness is universal. Sometimes being kind allows others to see the goodness in humanity through yo...
GERMANY KENT
In the old days in France, they had beheadings of people who commit heinous crimes, ... Nevada Newsm...
OSCAR GOODMAN
We don't turn into bats and the werewolves kill with ultraviolet bullets that shoot daylight into us...
KATE BECKINSALE
Ballots are the rightful and peaceful successors to bullets.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ...
GERMANY KENT
My words are my bullets.
JOHN LYDON
Memories are worse than bullets.
CARLOS RUIZ ZAFóN
Heroes take journey for ordinary to extraordinary and their legacy is the memory of a great name. Th...
LILY CHATTERJEE
You're allowed to miss the people who were bullets to you, but you're not allowed to let them shoot ...
REYNA BIDDY
Be an echo of peace not an echo of bullets.
DEBASISH MRIDHA
I think Jay Leno is fantastic.
BRIAN L. ROBERTS
The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
Ballots are the rightful and peaceful successors of bullets
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
I just want us to be known as a football team, ... A program.
DAVID ARMOUR
We are very upset. We are seeing extremists using bullets and bombs to get their way in our democrac...
ELEANOR SMEAL
After what this team managed to pull off at Mid-Ohio, we continue to be amazed. Their focus on the c...
CRAIG KELLY
I wanted to keep as many offensive bullets as I could,
BRIAN SCHNEIDER
Let all of us turn from bullets to ballots, from guns to shovels.
SHIMON PERES
The simple fact is this: they are foreigners inside a country which has rejected them. Therefore, th...
MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF
Imagine if these computer geeks who are running baseball now were allowed to run a war? They'd b...
TOM SEAVER
Jay Leno is wonderful and a good friend, but it will always be the Carson show to a lot of people.
BURT REYNOLDS
Jay (Leno) is wonderful and a good friend, but it will always be the Carson show to a lot of people.
BURT REYNOLDS
War is not just the shower of bullets and bombs from both sides, it is also the shower of blood and ...
AMIT KALANTRI
The inspection revealed that the three bullets appear to be 30mm in size and were somewhat fragmente...
ROBERT THOMPSON
If the two bullets could injure them and cause the same injuries that I have, then they might be abl...
CHEN SHUI-BIAN
You're not going to turn this thing around with platitudes. There are no magic bullets.
JOSH FEINMAN
In raining bullets on those silent faces, already turned away from this world, you think you are dis...
ALBERT CAMUS
The RUC went in hamfistedly, hamfistedly is actually an understatement of the way they went in. Peop...
GERRY KELLY
She wanted to be herself at all costs.
KIERA CASS
Let's create a regime that makes sale of bullets to anybody not licensed to carry a gun illegal,...
ELIOT SPITZER
On the beach the bullets were about like the mosquitoes in Minnesota.
PARKE POTTER
What will make you a star is in you
SOTONYE ANGA
I don't wanna be lonely I just wanna be alone
SILVERCHAIR
The ballot is stronger than bullets.
JOSEPH A. SCHUMPETER
The ballot is stronger than bullets.
JOSEPH SCHUMPETER
The rain fell like dead bullets.
SCOTT NICHOLSON
When the promotion of democracy is associated with the US or Mr. Bush, European support plummets. Eu...
CRAIG KENNEDY
Sometimes you dont even want to think aout what people are doing with their groceries.
SARAH DESSEN
I've performed on 'The Tonight Show' with both Johnny Carson and Jay Leno, but not at th...
THOMAS F. WILSON
Greatness is inspiring others to be their best.
KEN POIROT
People are tired of just watching their TV set passively. They are playing interactive games today. ...
BRUCE NASH
I don't want my son to fight and duck bullets. I want a choice where I live.
DEBORAH BROWN
We need arrogant people who like showing off.
They can cover us from bullets in the line of fir...
TOBA BETA
I remember thinking, "The bullets are working" I think I felt a little regret that they were working...
MARK DAVID CHAPMAN
We are far from perfect but willing to be different.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
We're looking to see if there are bullets, fragments, other things that may tell us if there's any c...
CHARLES MOOSE
Lukewarm people don't really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the pe...
FRANCIS CHAN
It was something... the way a person's life picked up speed, the way a life was like a bullet aimed ...
JOE HILL
You too, brother. But where are you going? Won't you at least tell me that?"

He pats the ...
JES DREW
If we fought wars with laughter instead of bullets, you would die laughing instead of just dying.
ANTHONY T. HINCKS
We kill everybody, my dear. Some with bullets, some with words, and everybody with our deeds. We dri...
MAXIM GORKY
The largest one laughed. Until Natalya's glass shard plugged his jugular. Regin aimed and pulled the...
KRESLEY COLE
Male bashing is everywhere. It would be a mistake to view the current situation as another skirmish ...
WARREN FARRELL
And as you come to know Him, you're becoming like Him. The more you are like Him, the more different...
CRAIG GROESCHEL
Whether you choose to move on from your struggles and enjoy life or waddle in your misery, life will...
GERMANY KENT
To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets, but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Right now, I'd say John Jay is as good a team as we've seen so far. They are very, very good.
BOB STREETEN
I did standup comedy. I opened once for Jay Leno.
ALAN COLMES
Just as tall trees are known by their shadows, so are good men known by their enemies
CHINESE PROVERBS
And as he recalls the old soldier's wisdom regarding bullets and fate, how pointless evasion is when...
EMMA RICHLER
Whiskey has killed more men than bullets, but most men would rather be full of whiskey than bullets....
LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH
To give the victory to the right, not bloody bullets, but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
To give the victory to the right, not bloody bullets, but peaceful ballots only, are necessary
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Bombs and bullets don't discriminate.
SOPHIE MASSON
Retailers (now) want to be very visible from the roads they don't want (their customers) to have to ...
MALACHY KAVANAGH
We are a volley of bullets, we are cannonballs. We are the tip of the sword.
ANTHONY DOERR
I'd rather not have to make one more start down here. I just think I'm ready to go, and I don't want...
BRETT MYERS
Bullets have little stopping-power against the horse
GENERAL DOUGLAS HAIG
I'm sure there were a few of those - people that jump on whichever team is the favorite team. They w...
JOE YOUNG
Right now I am having them think about their skill level, what their strengths are, what their weakn...
DOUG DEXHEIMER
I should prefer that you do not mention my name at all in connection with this case, as I choose to ...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
It's very evident that he was intent on engaging these officers in gunfire, and that he was not conc...
JASON WOODMAN
Thoughts are the gun, words are the bullets, deeds are the target, the bulls-eye is heaven.
DOUGLAS HORTON
Thoughts are the gun, words are the bullets, deeds are the target, the bulls-eye is heaven.
DOUG HORTON
realists are only realists if they dont dream ,dreamers can be more than dreamers if they achieve th...
JOHN THE DREAMER
Whats the point of changing everything about your lover? you dont love them entirely for who they ar...
AMIR RIVEROLL
NBC's priorities are Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno, and then there's me.
CARSON DALY
We owe this to the countless men, women and children across generations who carried this anthem in t...
NELSON MANDELA

More Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't f...
JAY LENO
If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
JAY LENO
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had bot...
JAY LENO
Martha Stewart stuffed and roasted canaries and found they could no longer sing.
JAY LENO
You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
JAY LENO
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
JAY LENO
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
JAY LENO
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said toda...
JAY LENO
I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.
JAY LENO
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that mak...
JAY LENO
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet...
JAY LENO
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
JAY LENO
President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important f...
JAY LENO
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, so...
JAY LENO
In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.
JAY LENO
Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
JAY LENO
There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from c...
JAY LENO
a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift for a guy... the plant is already dead (monologue Dec 10 2003).
JAY LENO
Vice President Dick Cheney is currently out in South Dakota on a three-day hunting trip. What better...
JAY LENO
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a we...
JAY LENO
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will ...
JAY LENO
There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give every...
JAY LENO
I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good…Maybe you're...
JAY LENO
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
JAY LENO
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'W...
JAY LENO
How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?
JAY LENO
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
JAY LENO
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Tea...
JAY LENO
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are...
JAY LENO
Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What better place for a gu...
JAY LENO
I just got a phone call that Tom Cruise had a baby girl about two minutes ago. No joke.
JAY LENO
Did you hear about this story? ... Several Minnesota Vikings players are being investigated after a ...
JAY LENO
Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who could...
JAY LENO
It seems an Iranian-born German soccer star is refusing to play in his team's next match because it'...
JAY LENO
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors ...
JAY LENO
President Bush agreed today to allow more weapons inspectors in Iraq. As I understand he has 250,000...
JAY LENO
Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How di...
JAY LENO
I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, F...
JAY LENO
Luckily, when I was a kid, Ritalin hadn't been invented yet,
JAY LENO
John Kerry met with Al Sharpton. Can you see the two of them standing together? It'd look like Abe L...
JAY LENO
For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
JAY LENO
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "W...
JAY LENO
More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistress...
JAY LENO
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's ...
JAY LENO
The White House began airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry camp...
JAY LENO
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. B...
JAY LENO
I was a little kid and I was fascinated by the roast beef going around the spit. So I took out my li...
JAY LENO
Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember th...
JAY LENO
I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you...
JAY LENO
A week later, President Bush said his administration's response to Katrina was unacceptable. Then he...
JAY LENO
Now the Democrats control the Senate. But the good news is that now the Republicans can admit that S...
JAY LENO
We have an important decision to make now about who controls Iraq. You know, that's a critical quest...
JAY LENO
Dick Cheney has announced that he has agreed to be Bush's running mate in 2004. Cheney says wants fo...
JAY LENO
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lotter...
JAY LENO
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, ...
JAY LENO
According to this week's Time magazine, President George Bush is a serious fitness buff. He works ou...
JAY LENO
One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein interview adopted a phony Ara...
JAY LENO
They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 mill...
JAY LENO
In a speech yesterday John Kerry said that before November he may go to Iraq. Is that a good idea fo...
JAY LENO
The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. You kno...
JAY LENO
Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind...
JAY LENO
According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton...
JAY LENO
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. Y...
JAY LENO
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry You can understand why...
JAY LENO
Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is fi...
JAY LENO
A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he c...
JAY LENO
John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks...
JAY LENO
Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at...
JAY LENO
Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? ...
JAY LENO
Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be th...
JAY LENO
War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operat...
JAY LENO
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
JAY LENO
Shaquille O'Neal, ... has signed a five-year, $100-million contract extension with the Miami Heat. ....
JAY LENO
telling you how tough it was in the old days -- how cramped it was, how small it was, how lucky you ...
JAY LENO
Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-ele...
JAY LENO
Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bo...
JAY LENO
New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive
JAY LENO
President Bush said for security reasons, he's sworn off all e-mail communication. He will not be us...
JAY LENO
Now, I have a Halloween mask I think you might get a kick out of. That's scary.
JAY LENO
Why do elephants go swimming? To get their trunks wet.
JAY LENO
Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic...
JAY LENO
There are reports that Saddam has been spotted in central Baghdad. Parts of him were also spotted in...
JAY LENO
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
JAY LENO
In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administrati...
JAY LENO
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn'...
JAY LENO
President Clinton, this guy is sharp. Boy, he gave Hillary the most romantic Valentine's gift today,...
JAY LENO
On Monday, President Bush will reach his 100th day in office. It's a big milestone for him, surpasse...
JAY LENO
Plus, I promised Mavis (his wife) I would take her out for dinner before I turned 60.
JAY LENO
John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, ...
JAY LENO
Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has ...
JAY LENO
The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Te...
JAY LENO
Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, afte...
JAY LENO
He seemed a little scripted in his speech,
JAY LENO
We put our two 4-year-old minds together and came up with some jokes that 8-year-olds would like.
JAY LENO
Tonight
JAY LENO
nice to see at least one Dodger scoring this year.
JAY LENO
He didn't want to sell it, but since he's off steroids he can only wear it as a bracelet now.
JAY LENO
You think, well, I can't cry anymore. You go, 'Oh gee,' and you see that pregnant mom, you see that ...
JAY LENO
Man, what is it down to, just a couple of voters?
JAY LENO
The critics said, 'Well, Arnold can't be an administrator, he's an actor. Arnold can't be an environ...
JAY LENO
I thought he looked quite good in his flight suit landing on the aircraft carrier. He looked very na...
JAY LENO
It's a big showroom at MGM. It will bring in a few thousand people because it's free. When times are...
JAY LENO
Bring him on once you catch him.
JAY LENO
I guess that would be your sister in Kentucky,
JAY LENO
Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown o...
JAY LENO
It's mostly a family story. It's about my mom and my dad. And I come from one of those homes where e...
JAY LENO
Have you ever used a fake ID?
JAY LENO
Democrats have been complaining that President Bush has spent more than 21 percent of his time in of...
JAY LENO
U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking n...
JAY LENO
George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out becaus...
JAY LENO
A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400.
JAY LENO
If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology
JAY LENO
An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in a heart transplant op...
JAY LENO
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't ...
JAY LENO
Hillary said today that she knew nothing about her brother's involvement (in Clinton's pardons). I b...
JAY LENO
There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured when they tried to jump on our...
JAY LENO
I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good?Maybe you're ...
JAY LENO
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates
JAY LENO
You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.
JAY LENO
America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat ...
JAY LENO
The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can fin...
JAY LENO
I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call ...
JAY LENO
President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he think...
JAY LENO
In just two weeks, Bill Clinton will no longer be President of the United States. He'll just be anot...
JAY LENO
Beverly Hills.
JAY LENO
Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with ...
JAY LENO
(The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep gettin...
JAY LENO
Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. Thi...
JAY LENO
Dick Cheney told reports that he has a new outlook on life. He says the best part of waking up is......
JAY LENO
Well that's a nice thing, ... Mom, I'm making millions now. I got you a new dryer.'
JAY LENO
President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a coupl...
JAY LENO
At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battere...
JAY LENO
Vice President Dick Cheney said he is upset when critics say [the administration] lied us into the w...
JAY LENO
John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used...
JAY LENO
John Kerry said today that he stands by ... his claim that certain foreign leaders have told him tha...
JAY LENO
John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take he...
JAY LENO
Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons....
JAY LENO
Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or eve...
JAY LENO
Newsweek reported that 87 Congressman are currently having affairs. In fact, that is why they have r...
JAY LENO
The Pentagon said today they're sending another 100,000 troops into the Gulf. We have 250,000 there ...
JAY LENO
Tip flying in the winter: Book an afternoonflight. The airport security personell has warmed their h...
JAY LENO
The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think that's Presid...
JAY LENO
Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy wit...
JAY LENO
According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White Hou...
JAY LENO
President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq....
JAY LENO
All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.
JAY LENO
I’m a great believer in low self-esteem. Self-esteem is great for actors and criminals. I assume e...
JAY LENO
Marriage is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.
JAY LENO
Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $...
JAY LENO
Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'
JAY LENO
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to...
JAY LENO
In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and th...
JAY LENO
Politics is just show business for ugly people
JAY LENO
President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style dem...
JAY LENO
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, ...
JAY LENO
John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shu...
JAY LENO
There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, ...
JAY LENO
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a we...
JAY LENO
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' ...
JAY LENO
Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of...
JAY LENO
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
JAY LENO
A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, ...
JAY LENO
My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?
JAY LENO
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back togethe...
JAY LENO
With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides,
flooding, severe thunderstorms tea...
JAY LENO
I was reading in the paper today that Congress wants to replace the dollar bill with a coin. They’...
JAY LENO
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But t...
JAY LENO
has failed his test of leadership and missed an historic opportunity to stand up for the basic civil...
MARK LENO
Society is strongest when it upholds the basic civil rights of all its citizens, including the right...
MARK LENO
We're an American Legion post, so we're emphasizing the red, white and blue. But we're also using la...
MARK LENO
Ah! What is man? Wherefore does he why? Whence did he whence? Whither is he withering?
DAN LENO
Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all California families will have the same protectio...
MARK LENO
It's a significant accomplishment. It was a thing of beauty,
MARK LENO
He was resolute in his leadership, ... He always said civil rights is civil rights.
MARK LENO
When you set aside all the emotion and hyperbole and drama surrounding this bill, it comes down to s...
MARK LENO
I couldn't do anything but keep going. It says something for being a little bit tenacious,
MARK LENO
We think it'll be tomorrow or Thursday, ... We want to make sure we have a full house of Democrats, ...
MARK LENO
I trust that my colleagues are searching their hearts and reading the constitution as they decide th...
MARK LENO
We are so very close, ... It would be very disappointing for this body not to be able to stand up fo...
MARK LENO
It's just the beginning.
MARK LENO
I think there's a better way to approach many of these issues,
MARK LENO
It's unfortunate for the Republicans to say if we don't see it their way, we're soft on crime or sup...
MARK LENO
No legislative body has ever passed such a measure. It would be historic,
MARK LENO
The Democrats are labeled profligate spenders, but I can guarantee I didn't have one bill with a $15...
MARK LENO
They are considered no different than married couples with regards to responsibility for children,
MARK LENO
No. 1, the crime would not have occurred. And the brutality would not have been (as bad) as it was. ...
MARK LENO
He cannot claim to support fair and equal legal protections for same-sex couples, ... and veto the v...
MARK LENO
Allowing same-sex couples to access one another's health care plans, make joint medical decisions, i...
MARK LENO
The Legislature has done the hard work of picking up the issue of the day, holding public hearings, ...
MARK LENO
The issue doesn't go away, ... Support will only increase. The more the public hears about same-sex ...
MARK LENO
Margita Thompson has said all kinds of things in the past that have proven not to be true, ... I wil...
MARK LENO
It would be highly unusual and a direct insult to the proponents of this bill and the many millions ...
MARK LENO
He cannot veto the bill until it gets to his desk, ... It may not get there for a couple more weeks ...
MARK LENO
[After first ducking the issue on Wednesday, Schwarzenegger surprised lawmakers with his statement.]...
MARK LENO
I believe this is a governor who is a libertarian,
MARK LENO
Today represents another milestone toward the fulfillment of the American dream for thousands of les...
MARK LENO
Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all Californians, all California's children and fami...
MARK LENO
I believe this is a governor who at his core is a libertarian on issues of social matters, ... and t...
MARK LENO
The moment I started reading, I was no longer in my bedroom, no longer sad, no longer even myself.
KATRINA LENO
It's what everybody is waiting for. Everybody is excited about the World Cup and I hope it gets thin...
LENO RIVERA