The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail.
P. J. O'Rourke
Related The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in... P. J. O'ROURKE Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. P.J. O'ROURKE The role of the
Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to
think of themselve... LEWIS N. ROE Naturalistic atheism debunks itself. It
has no power to explain even some
of the most basic principl... LEWIS N. ROE It's important to understand that if
someone calls themselves a Christian, it does not automatically... LEWIS N. ROE How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful. EVANS G. VALENS We have a responsibility to do this. How are we going to pay for it? By tax dollars. On a tax dollar... ROD RUDDOCK The scientific method gives us
information by testing and repeating observable things so that we
can... LEWIS N. ROE The atheist might have
no proof for the
supernatural, but they
also have no proof
against it. If we ... LEWIS N. ROE We are simply two good people with equally flawed pasts, looking for perfect futures. And I think we... K.A. TUCKER I was looking for a name with an old English sound, very easy to pronounce in every language and eas... DIEGO DELLA VALLE A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung... PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE A Ritual to Read to Each Other If you don’t know the kind of person I am and... WILLIAM STAFFORD Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said: I am not commanding you, but I ... NICHOLAS SPARKS To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting. STEPHEN CHBOSKY I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me. NICHOLAS SPARKS As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the... NICHOLAS SPARKS You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk on... HARPER LEE You can't really get to know a person until you get in their shoes and walk around in them. HARPER LEE Whether you say that a god does exist, or that none do, it is a claim
to know (or at least believe i... LEWIS N. ROE I believe that the most important thing for a couple of any sort, to realize in their relationship w... C. JOYBELL C. When looking for evidence that something exists, it's silly
to start by assuming that it is impossib... LEWIS N. ROE Using the scientific knowledge that we
currently possess, we can take simple logical steps, backed b... LEWIS N. ROE Instead, every precaution was taken not to violate his rights. Remember, many administrators have no... JAMES C. DOBSON You know who a complicated tax code kills? The guy or gal trying to start a business out of the spar... MARCO RUBIO As far back as history records people thinking, thinking people
have been befuddled by the mysteries... LEWIS N. ROE Having been shown the possibility that God exists, the atheist has
chosen not to accept it. They hav... LEWIS N. ROE The claim to know that no god exists is just irrational. The non-existence of any god has no evidenc... LEWIS N. ROE Lᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ ... Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏ... NICHOLAS SPARKS She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappr... GAIL CARRIGER The increase in spam was due to an increase in tax preparation offers and other financial service of... ANDREW LOCHART The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m... ANDREW TO Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt... ANDREW TO Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank... ANDREW TO The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ... ANDREW TO Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate... ANDREW TO We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ... ANDREW TO Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices. ANDREW TO I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag... ANDREW TO We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future. ANDREW TO I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea... ANDREW TO Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is nev... A WALK TO REMEMBER It's sweet and everything, but it's like you're not even there sometimes. It's great that you can li... STEPHEN CHBOSKY Some people never take a chance and never know what it's like to live life to the full. CHLOE THURLOW If you've paid at least 90 percent of your current tax liability by April 15 or 100 percent of the p... CINDY FRAILING We accept submissions by April 15 of every year. KATHY KEIL In 2010 the U.S. will have a payroll tax rate increase, an estate tax increase, and income tax incre... ARTHUR LAFFER There are just some kind of men who-who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learn... HARPER LEE See the world as it is, not as you wish it would be E. LOCKHART Give someone a thought, and they will produce an act;
When they sow that act, they will reap a habit... PERRY ROTHENBAUM Negativity is like a wash of black rain after a nuclear explosion .To avert this from happening you ... GARY F EVANS... A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it w... JEFFREY BERNARD A tooth for a tooth, will make the world's inhabitants a people without teeth SOTONYE ANGA Why, darling, I don't live at all when I'm not with you. ERNEST HEMINGWAY He said we were all cooked but we were all right as long as we did not know it. We were all cooked. ... ERNEST HEMINGWAY After Rilke's Letters -- by John VanDyke Wilmerding II this is my letter to a young ... RAINER MARIA RILKE Yes, their reasons are overwhelming. They are as big as hope and as deep as revolt. They are the rea... ALBERT CAMUS …A city deprived of everything, devoid of light and devoid of heat, starved, and still not crushed... ALBERT CAMUS Words always take on the color of the deeds or sacrifices they evoke. ALBERT CAMUS No, no. Don't make that face. Every time I propose to you, you make that twisty, unhappy face. It we... TESSA DARE Atticus---" ...said Jem bleakly. "How could they do it, how could they?" "I don't know, but the... HARPER LEE Learn to stand for something in life otherwise you will fall for anything that comes along which is ... EUGINIA HERLIHY We are born different to make a difference. LISA R. REYNOLDS Dreams can change histories and songs can alter destinies. TIFFANIE DEBARTOLO Why would we want to keep a tax cut that's failed? Why would we not want to go back to the Clint... DICK GEPHARDT It takes a CONSTANT flowing of gas from the cylinder to keep the fire burning under your pot. “WOO... OLAOTAN FAWEHINMI Most powerful of all powers in its holy insinuation is _being_. _To be_ is more powerful than even _... GEORGE MACDONALD We are the books we read and the things we love. CATH CROWLEY You should give up sarcasm. People could get the wrong idea about you. MICHAEL PRYOR I know exactly who I am, what I'm about and who I will become. EMMA PAUL It is better to grope in the dark and wade through a million errors to reach the Truth than to entru... SUDHIR KAKAR If you argue with a fool, you become a fool. L.A. HILDEN Everyday is another chance to do something great. EMMA PAUL You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm! COLETTE there are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely ... OSCAR WILDE I think you can tell when you meet someone whether they read novels. There's some hollowness if they... PHILIP HENSHER Always be true to your friends, just as you are to yourself. MEG CABOT I have this feeling, like I'm waiting for something. But I have no idea what. JENNIFER NIVEN 2.5.03.02.005: Generally speaking, if you fiddle with something, it will break. Don't. JASPER FFORDE O, the sheer magnificence of words that come together like waves upon a beach, each telling its own ... JOHN M SHEEHAN Anyways, that very same night there was a fight in the casino on B Deck. Some of the passengers got ... CHRISTINA ENGELA Seeing eye to an eye is a must, especially when there lies a case, or an intent, to meet; even by in... PRIYAVRAT THAREJA One of the most important things I have found is that no one
school of thought has all of the answer... LEWIS N. ROE J. P. Morgan. He was kind of a douche. T. J. MILLER I will not read the last page of novels first," I said, and then punched myself in the face. "... BRANDON SANDERSON I still had this idea that there was a whole world of marvelous golden people somewhere, as far ahea... RICHARD YATES According to the IRS, the wealthiest 400 Americans, who earned an average of roughly $270 million in... SHELDON WHITEHOUSE What we need to do is replace the entire tax code. I do not think it makes sense to say, 'Let... BARRY DILLER But when we have families, when we have children, this gives us a purpose for being, to protect our ... ERNIE HUDSON What Governor Romney is proposing is an across-the-board cut in marginal tax rates for households, e... GLENN HUBBARD I'm about to do something very clever and a tiny bit against the rules of the universe. It's importa... TOMMY DONBAVAND We do not view ourselves as DP World employees. We are P&O employees. FRANK FOGARTY Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be... GARY F EVANS... Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ... GROUCHO MARX stop looking for job, create one. SOTONYE ANGA Why would we want to keep a tax cut that's failed? Why would we not want to go back to the Clinton t... DICK GEPHARDT If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to... MOTHER TERESA OF CALCUTTA There are things we never tell anyone. We want to but we can’t. So we write them down. Or we paint... TIFFANIE DEBARTOLO Before we do, I suggest you take a break. If you need to go to the bathroom, this is a good time. If... PSEUDONYMOUS BOSCH
More P. J. O'Rourke
In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's differ... P. J. O'ROURKE Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is ... P. J. O'ROURKE I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level... P. J. O'ROURKE The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove t... P. J. O'ROURKE Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes. P.J. O'ROURKE You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to t... P.J. O'ROURKE People spot a big black lens, and they worry about what they're doing, or how their hair looks. Nobo... ERICA O'ROURKE Relationships take up energy; letting go of them, psychiatrists theorize, entails mental work. When ... MEGHAN O'ROURKE A hat should be taken off when greeting a lady, and left off the rest of your life. Nothing looks mo... P.J. O'ROURKE The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When ... P.J. O'ROURKE Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. P.J. O'ROURKE I have been told by the third grade teacher that my daughter Poppet is reading at middle school leve... P.J. O'ROURKE No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source o... P.J. O'ROURKE The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average. P.J. O'ROURKE It's not only the demons who have the power to break you. It's the small, unexpected kindness, the f... ERICA O'ROURKE The proper behaviour all through the holiday season is to be drunk. The drunkenness culminates on Ne... P.J. O'ROURKE I met his eyes. Unlike Callie, he wouldn't be fooled with a smile. Once you've glimpsed something's ... ERICA O'ROURKE Earnestness is stupidity sent to college. P.J. O'ROURKE Given a choice, it seems like pity would be easier to bear than mockery, but that's not true. Mocker... ERICA O'ROURKE We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop... P.J. O'ROURKE The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove t... P.J. O'ROURKE Now I really have it all. I've been given some bullshit in my time, but that.... TIM O'ROURKE I have to convince other Democrats and Republicans that it's wise to invest in the U.S.-Mexico b... BETO O'ROURKE In terms of immigration, we're seeing a lot of Democrats and Republicans use the really elastic ... BETO O'ROURKE Juarez had become a failed city. The mayor of Juarez lived in El Paso. Not only did he not live in h... BETO O'ROURKE El Paso in many ways is the Ellis Island for Mexico and much of Latin America. BETO O'ROURKE I'm for the DREAM Act. It makes so much sense. Following the implementation of the DREAM Act, we... BETO O'ROURKE Part of the job for me and others from El Paso who live along the border is to dispel the myths abou... BETO O'ROURKE We in El Paso and Juarez are literally one community. There's no separation; there's no DMZ;... BETO O'ROURKE PJ's suggested chant, for pointless protest marches: "Five, four, three, two. We don... P.J. O'ROURKE Our minds are mysterious; our conscious brain is like a ship on a sea that is obscure to us. MEGHAN O'ROURKE I have a St. Bernard named B. HEATHER O'ROURKE The raw and natural sounds of Aero music don't subtract from it's beauty, instead it creates a rich ... JIM O'ROURKE Sometimes you don't even know what you want until you find out you can't have it. MEGHAN O'ROURKE My brother trolled recovery and support groups, searching for women with dependency issues, the way ... RICHARD J. O'BRIEN We do not have money to purchase diesel and pay workers
We have asked for the state government's ... O. P. SINGH I'm absolutely, l00 percent, not guilty. O. J. SIMPSON I'd like to get back to my family and friends - believe it or not, I do have some real friends. O. J. SIMPSON Don't feel sorry for me. I've had a great life, great friends. O. J. SIMPSON I had some problems with fidelity in my life but pretty much got along with everybody. O. J. SIMPSON I tend to watch a little TV... Court TV, once in a while. Some of the cases I get interested in. O. J. SIMPSON I always put my fantasies in the realm of goals. O. J. SIMPSON I did not have anything to do with these murders. Ever. O. J. SIMPSON I could not tell you the date of my mother's death. I could not tell you the date of my dad'... O. J. SIMPSON What do you mean you have my children at the police station? Why are my kids at the police station? O. J. SIMPSON Nicole will come up in conversations where it's in a part of the conversation. Or we may be some... O. J. SIMPSON I really have reached a point where I can write a book about all of this. O. J. SIMPSON Oh my God, Nicole is killed? Oh my God, she is dead? O. J. SIMPSON I've been very clear. I won. I didn't commit the crime. O. J. SIMPSON I have always wanted to be liked and respected. O. J. SIMPSON I don't know how often I can discuss one incident in my entire life, but I'll continue to do... O. J. SIMPSON I think I've been a great citizen. O. J. SIMPSON My NFL pension can barely pay my son's tuition. You know, it's very little money. O. J. SIMPSON If there wasn't no fight, there wasn't no weekend. O. J. SIMPSON I tell inmates all the time, 'Don't complain about your grind. Do your time.' O. J. SIMPSON I've always thought I'd been pretty good with people, and I basically have spent a conflict-... O. J. SIMPSON Money takes wings. The only thing that endures is character. O. J. SIMPSON I didn't beat her. I just pushed her out of bed. O. J. SIMPSON I've done my time. I've done it as well and as respectfully as I think anyone can. O. J. SIMPSON The fear of losing is what makes competitors so great. Show me a gracious loser and I'll show you a ... O. J. SIMPSON NFL owners should quit worrying about silly things like players celebrating in the end zone. They sh... O. J. SIMPSON The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that's t... O. J. SIMPSON I had one fight in my adult life. I had the famous '89 fight with Nicole, which she admits that ... O. J. SIMPSON The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that'... O. J. SIMPSON I'm enjoying the money, the big house, the cars; what ghetto kid wouldn't? O. J. SIMPSON The fear of losing is what makes competitors so great. Show me a gracious loser and I'll show you ... O. J. SIMPSON Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their... P. J. O'ROURKE The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on Ne... P. J. O'ROURKE A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one. J. P. MORGAN When you expect things to happen - strangely enough - they do happen. J. P. MORGAN Well, I don't know as I want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire him to tell how to do ... J. P. MORGAN If you have to ask how much it costs, you can't afford it. J. P. MORGAN No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty... J. P. MORGAN I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own. J. P. DONLEAVY To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. J. P. DONLEAVY Writing is turning one's worst moments into money. J. P. DONLEAVY Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jur... P. J. O'ROURKE My mom is a sculptress. P. J. HARVEY I'm not an autobiographical writer, but I am a writer who deals with human emotion on all levels... P. J. HARVEY I've always felt that I'm affected by the world, by the way we treat each other, by the way ... P. J. HARVEY There's also a level of discipline I use as a writer, designed to get better at what I'm doi... P. J. HARVEY I'm probably much more influenced by film-makers and painters than I am by other songwriters or ... P. J. HARVEY I did photography, painting, and drawing, but I prefer sculpture. I like it because it's very ph... P. J. HARVEY I'm a very private person, so obviously I don't enjoy talking about more personal matters. P. J. HARVEY My father is actually a quarry man - he deals in stone. He also at one point had a lot of sheep, he ... P. J. HARVEY With songs I almost see the images, see the action, and then all I have to do is describe it. It'... P. J. HARVEY I decide immediately if I like a person and if I do, then I'm myself, and if I don't, then I... P. J. HARVEY I'm a Libra. That means that I can make a decision, but only after much thought. P. J. HARVEY There's so much you can do with laying words on a bed of music. You can completely change their ... P. J. HARVEY People have a tendency to see country life through rose-colored glasses. P. J. HARVEY It's so much in me to want to keep experimenting all the time. It's just inherent. Therefore... P. J. HARVEY Making me into a role model is placing too much importance on what I see as a work in progress. P. J. HARVEY I'm not a writer where I feel particularly blessed by great inspiration every day. I don't. ... P. J. HARVEY I work on words quite separately to music. They're both ongoing, and I don't ever feel like ... P. J. HARVEY There is nothing more boring than doing singing exercises. P. J. HARVEY People like Howlin' Wolf, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, John Lee Hooker, Nina Simone, Captain B... P. J. HARVEY I firmly disbelieve that one has to be a tortured soul to write good music. P. J. HARVEY I don't loathe interviews, I'm just one of those people who makes music because I find it di... P. J. HARVEY I think that's always very valuable: to keep the mind open to receiving all sorts of information... P. J. HARVEY I tried to use words that were dealing with the emotional quality that any human being could recogni... P. J. HARVEY I didn't know folk music growing up, no. It's something I've come to study, really, beca... P. J. HARVEY I've always been very visceral in that I feel things very deeply. P. J. HARVEY Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyon... P. J. O'ROURKE The best and brightest don't go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs. P. J. O'ROURKE In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky even... P. J. O'ROURKE People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that wa... P. J. O'ROURKE Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. P. J. O'ROURKE I am unboreable in the great outdoors. P. J. O'ROURKE To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You... P. J. O'ROURKE Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-work... P. J. O'ROURKE Hubris is one of the great renewable resources. P. J. O'ROURKE The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove t... P. J. O'ROURKE Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that... P. J. O'ROURKE Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. P. J. O'ROURKE Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior. P. J. O'ROURKE Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was ... P. J. O'ROURKE If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you k... P. J. O'ROURKE Some day you will be wheeled in for a heart bypass operation, and a surgeon will be the person who i... P. J. O'ROURKE Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market. P. J. O'ROURKE Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pr... P. J. O'ROURKE Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye. P. J. O'ROURKE Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness,... P. J. O'ROURKE Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let... P. J. O'ROURKE Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and... P. J. O'ROURKE Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. P. J. O'ROURKE Life is just a dirty four-letter word: W-O-R-K. J. P. MCEVOY Old age adds to the respect due to virtue, but it takes nothing from the contempt inspired by vice; ... J. P. SENN Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to... P. J. O'ROURKE Our democracy, our culture, our whole way of life is a spectacular triumph of the blah. Why not have... P. J. O'ROURKE Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. P. J. O'ROURKE Writing is turning one's worst moments into money. J. P. DONLEAVY My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to... P. J. PLAUGER In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, im... P. J. O'ROURKE When you don't have any money, the problem is food, When you have money, it's sex. When you have bot... J. P. DONLEAVY Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational re... P. J. O'ROURKE Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This is why... P. J. O'ROURKE You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. P. J. O'ROURKE People are all exactly alike. There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic g... P. J. O'ROURKE I am a journalist and, under the modern journalist's code of Olympian objectivity (and total purity ... P. J. O'ROURKE Seriousness is stupidity sent to college. P. J. O'ROURKE Good manners are a combination of intelligence, education, taste and style mixed together so that yo... P. J. O'ROURKE The principle feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad thin... P. J. O'ROURKE In the end we beat them with Levi 501 jeans. Seventy-two years of Communist indoctrination and propa... P. J. O'ROURKE Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishmen... P. J. O'ROURKE No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the sources ... P. J. O'ROURKE Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the ... P. J. O'ROURKE Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind ha... P. J. O'ROURKE When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. J. P. DONLEAVY The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the s... P. J. O'ROURKE But Jesus, when you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When y... J. P. DONLEAVY Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and tho... P. J. O'ROURKE Majority rule is a precious, sacred thing worth dying for. But -- like other precious, sacred things... P. J. O'ROURKE Farm policy, although it's complex, can be explained. What it can't be is believed. No cheating spou... P. J. O'ROURKE Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals ... P. J. O'ROURKE Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. The... P. J. O'ROURKE There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded K... P. J. O'ROURKE One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficu... P. J. O'ROURKE Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning. P. J. O'ROURKE There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief... P. J. O'ROURKE Old age adds to the respect due to virtue, but it takes nothing from the contempt inspired by vice... J. P. SENN Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us. P. J. O'ROURKE A man always has two reasons for doing anything--a good reason and the real reason. J. P. MORGAN Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiv... P. J. O'ROURKE Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that's when the kids are home from school, although ... P. J. O'ROURKE Sheep farming is heavily subsidized in Great Britain. Without the subsidies, the green grazing in th... P. J. O'ROURKE Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines. P. J. O'ROURKE What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small ... P. J. O'ROURKE Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, becaus... P. J. O'ROURKE The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in ... P. J. O'ROURKE Chinese economic development has cost many American workers their jobs. That's the price of prog... P. J. O'ROURKE The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-sh... P. J. O'ROURKE What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politic... P. J. O'ROURKE I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now. P. J. O'ROURKE The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously inv... P. J. O'ROURKE Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs i... P. J. O'ROURKE The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. P. J. O'ROURKE Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial i... P. J. O'ROURKE Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort ... P. J. O'ROURKE Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the r... P. J. O'ROURKE Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, P... P. J. O'ROURKE Never wear anything that panics the cat. P. J. O'ROURKE Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the econ... P. J. O'ROURKE Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'ROURKE Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. P. J. O'ROURKE If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat ... P. J. O'ROURKE There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A poli... P. J. O'ROURKE Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but moth... P. J. O'ROURKE Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. P. J. O'ROURKE The two most frightening words in Washington are 'bipartisan consensus.' Bipartisan consensu... P. J. O'ROURKE Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head c... P. J. O'ROURKE I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level... P. J. O'ROURKE A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason. J. P. MORGAN People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. P. J. O'ROURKE The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wi... P. J. O'ROURKE Why do elites hate the poor? It's xenophobia. They don't know any poor people - except their... P. J. O'ROURKE Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. P. J. O'ROURKE Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools inst... P. J. O'ROURKE Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades... P. J. O'ROURKE All business is capitalistic. You require capital for any sort of business endeavour. P. J. O'ROURKE The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-... P. J. O'ROURKE