The things that are truly funny were never really intended to be funny at all.

Your advice seems a little ironical."

"Oh, you may either follow it or reverse it—that is its chief beauty. It is equally good taken either way.

You can't save your ass and your face at the same time

Every five years or so, I look back on my life and I have a good laugh.

Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh.

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.