The report of my death was an exaggeration After reading his own obituary, June 2 1897

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

The funerals of these, ... do not occur often enough.

من لا يريد القراءة ليس بأفضل ممن لا يستطيع القراءة

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light