The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.


Dave Barry

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To me extremism is targeting endangered whales in a whale sanctuary in violation of a moratorium. Th...
PAUL WATSON
I have seen a lot of whale watching operations, quite a few of which were very irresponsible, but I ...
PAUL WATSON
This is a victory for sound science, the killer whales, and the people of the Pacific Northwest. How...
BRENT PLATER
It had an enormous impact to the point of the United Nations passing a resolution against the killin...
WAVY GRAVY
Dave Barry Turns 50
DAVE BARRY
The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.
BILL VAUGHAN
The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine
BILL VAUGHN
There is reason for concern that in a period of 15 days we are seeing this many whale carcasses _ an...
LUIS FUEYO
The fin whale is the second largest whale species on Earth, weighing up to 80 tons.
PIERCE BROSNAN
Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.
WILLIAM E BILL VAUGHAN
Southern Resident killer whales have been integral to the ecological, social, and economic well bein...
BRENT PLATER
has failed to produce the goal all Americans share the recovery of endangered species.
RICHARD POMBO
I really wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of every endangered panda that wouldn't screw to sa...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
Endangered species are our friends.
YAO MING
We're asking consumers to be aware of who funds the whale hunters, and to let them know that whaling...
STEVE SHALLHORN
This study shows that just passing the buck to the states isn't likely to solve the endangered speci...
GINETTE HEMLEY
For over 30 years the Endangered Species Act has suffered from many fundamental flaws, the most nota...
CHRIS CANNON
That's one of the places where the Endangered Species Act really has teeth.
KATHY FLETCHER
Recovering an endangered species is not easy.
DOUG INKLEY
He has an ideological belief that endangered species should not be protected.
BRENT PLATER
The Endangered Species Act has been a dismal failure, and in 25 years the act has yet to bring a sin...
JONATHAN ADLER
I am concerned about it with so many endangered species right in the Santa Barbara County area,
LOIS CAPPS
Must whales and dolphins be subjected to deafening noise that will cause more than 3.5 million insta...
PIERCE BROSNAN
I do think we're an endangered species. But that we do have a plan to save the rainforest.
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD
This is the exception, not the rule to the Endangered Species Act.
LARRY CRAIG
The Endangered Species Act has been a roaring success for the grizzly bear in Yellowstone.
JAMIE RAPPAPORT CLARK
There is broad consensus in Congress to reform the Endangered Species Act,
JAMES SAXTON
But it has become one of the most endangered fish species because of environmental degradation.
LIANG JIANHONG
Most of the global community accept that killing whales is not necessary to study whale populations....
CHRIS CARTER
It is a drastic mistake to eliminate the provisions that have to do with the protection of habitat f...
JIM SAXTON
It is a drastic mistake to eliminate the provisions that have to do with the protection of habitat f...
JIM SAXTON
The Yellowstone grizzly is the Endangered Species Act's best recovery story.
CHRIS SERVHEEN
Mr. Pombo has spent much of his career criticizing the Endangered Species Act for its failure to get...
BOB IRVIN
This just proves the Endangered Species Act works.
LYNDA WHITE
Humpback and fin whales are severely depleted whales species and New Zealand is very worried about t...
CHRIS CARTER
The right whale needs immediate help to survive, and the Coast Guard can be the species' savior. Tax...
KYLA BENNETT
It runs counter to the intent of the Endangered Species Act.
JAMIE RAPPAPORT CLARK
The American people basically love the Endangered Species Act.
BROCK EVANS
The Endangered Species Act is the strongest and most effective tool we have to repair the environmen...
NORM DICKS
You're talking about one of the most endangered mammals in the world and the most endangered species...
LARRY RICHARDSON
makes no sense to harm other endangered species in the process.
BRIAN SCHWEITZER
We are fighting now to save that endangered species-the individual.
MARTY RUBIN
Federal agencies shouldn't be able to dodge their obligations to protect endangered species by deleg...
DAVID HOGAN
No species can survive such a high mortality rate. It is more difficult for an already endangered sp...
BISWAJIT MOHANTY
Indeed, the whole human species is endangered, by nuclear weapons or by other means of wholesale des...
JOSEPH ROTBLAT
Soul-mated pairs are becoming an endangered species.
STACEY JAY
My good mood felt like an endangered species.
MAGGIE STIEFVATER
Biologically, it's time to remove them as an endangered species. From our standpoint, they haven't b...
JODY MILLAR
The most effective way to save endangered species is to protect the places they need to live,
LOIS CAPPS
Actually I do support a charity, DefendersofWildLife.org. They help protect endangered species.
ALEX MERAZ
Hopefully this highlights the need and desire to conserve whale species in general.
PAUL JEPSON
Does Greenpeace think it can stop whaling in Antarctica by publicly eating whale meat and declaring ...
PAUL WATSON
This bill is not about fixing the Endangered Species Act, it's about gutting it,
JAMES MCGOVERN
Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space.
BRIAN SKERRY
If it's an endangered species, they store it here.
ARTHUR TUCKER
It's the biggest success story under the Endangered Species Act because grizzly bears are one of the...
CHRIS SERVHEEN
The snow leopard is absolutely magnificent. It represents really what endangered species are all abo...
JACK HANNA
Married people from my generation are like an endangered species!
PATRICE LECONTE
In the world of commercial speech, tobacco advertising bears the earmarks of an endangered species.
JEF I. RICHARDS
It's no longer an exaggeration to say that middle-class Americans are an endangered species.
ARIANNA HUFFINGTON
There are a handful of records of people spotting sperm whales in the region -- and they're all in t...
DAVID K. MELLINGER
The fidelity question is difficult for me. Society has made us believe we're supposed to be mono...
RACHEL HUNTER
All three moms are incredibly important to their species, which are either threatened or endangered....
TONY VECCHIO
If you want to see an endangered species, get up and look in the mirror.
JOHN YOUNG
Time is of the essence to protect this beautiful wildflower and this is what the Endangered Species ...
ERIN ROBERTSON
Wolves are a high-profile species and the fact of the matter is the (Fish and Wildlife) Service has ...
JEFF ALLEN
Shamu the killer whale is Sea World's Mickey Mouse; whales named Shamu are the star attractions ...
NINA EASTON
This population of right whales is one of the most endangered populations of large mammals anywhere ...
CHRIS SLAY
The 11 species will join a listing of around 107 migratory animals which are considered endangered a...
MARCO BARBIERI
Life is a fight, but not everyone’s a fighter. Otherwise, bullies would be an endangered species...
ANDREW VACHSS
I am no longer a rare breed, I am an endangered species
I AM TIMEPIECE
We should protect endangered species, but not at the expense of our property owners,
HENRY BROWN
The ferret has been listed under the Endangered Species Act for a long time, and this is a great exa...
JACOB SMITH
The life of whale shark gets endangered as the quantity of small fishes starts diminishing in ocean....
ANUJ SOMANY
There are 83 species of whales and dolphins (and porpoises) we know almost nothing about.
ERICH HOYT
If we are supplying the demand, then other people will carry on killing endangered species,
ANDY FISHER
I write many essays on whales. I love whales, especially orcas. And dolphins.
MILLIE BOBBY BROWN
Sea World's killer whale collection needs constant replenishing. The average life span of the an...
NINA EASTON
This situation is especially painful, because Dave is a talented and dedicated individual who has ma...
LEONARD ROBERTS
While the Sanctuary has been most associated with whales and whale watching, it also serves as a ste...
CRAIG MACDONALD
The problem is, the Endangered Species Act does need to be modernized, ... but the people in charge ...
LOIS CAPPS
Without protection of the endangered species act we would have lost hundreds of additional species i...
DANIEL PATTERSON
A critical mass is developing of people who are now aware of the problems that the existing Endanger...
CHUCK CUSHMAN
We are trying to get people to think it's not just the rain forest and endangered species. It is not...
MARGARET THOMAS
If this hunt goes through, there will be other requests coming to the Russian government to hunt bel...
KAREN STEUER
We have more endangered species here in our islands than any other state in the country.
DAVID IGE
People think it's very strange because I love whale watching - you don't see whales a lot wh...
YUNA
Whales are killed today to supply the limited demand for whale meat or to be used in pet foods or as...
PAUL WATSON
Having Dave in the lineup is huge. Not only is he a great player but he makes the other guys in the ...
GLEN GARDNER
By and large people had no idea that the trade this largely affected as many species and poses such ...
CRAIG HOOVER
Many species face degraded habitats at both ends of their migration flights and the thousands of tow...
BILL EVANS
After over three decades of implementation the Endangered Species Act (ESA) has recovered 10 of roug...
TIM BISHOP
I'm wondering if we should gather up Kmart signs and put them on the endangered species list,
LOUIE GOHMERT
I have a tattoo on my foot that says 'it's a whale' in Japanese, because Japanese people...
SKYLAR GREY
I scored a movie called 'Endangered Species'. I worked on another movie called 'Staying ...
GARY WRIGHT
When it comes to whaling, Iceland is an international outlaw. Years of global negotiations and decla...
PIERCE BROSNAN
The threat of extinction is more real than many realise. And the damage done to elephants directly l...
LI BINGBING
What is a fish without a river? What is a bird without a tree to nest in? What is an Endangered Spec...
JAY INSLEE
There are actually more than 90 threatened and endangered plant and animal species in that range.
MARK FOX
It remains to be seen whether or not development on the island would even be permitted under the End...
JON CORZINE

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I'm very pleased that we made the top four. But I feel that we could have had a stronger showing.
DAVE BARRY
I've been asked to make an announcement, ... There is a non-luxury car in the parking lot. We've bee...
DAVE BARRY
The term SAT is a set of initials, or autonym, standing for Scholastic Attitude Treaty Organization.
DAVE BARRY
We've actually gotten better musically over the years, ... But we've come to realize that we will ne...
DAVE BARRY
Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.
DAVE BARRY
Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art...
DAVE BARRY
I find myself having these conversations where I go...“You know, the guy, in that place. The guy i...
DAVE BARRY
Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones...
DAVE BARRY
Ridley is a tea drinker.
DAVE BARRY
It's a concept I've often thought of.
DAVE BARRY
You get people from all walks of life here -- who work in domestic service.
DAVE BARRY
I believe that's one of the finest action regurgitation scenes in the history of literature, ... I'd...
DAVE BARRY
We became pretty sensitive about it. We visited Great Ormond Street Hospital when we were in England...
DAVE BARRY
What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge ham...
DAVE BARRY
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
DAVE BARRY
Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuc...
DAVE BARRY
Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger...
DAVE BARRY
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable ent...
DAVE BARRY
Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant d...
DAVE BARRY
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks sh...
DAVE BARRY
Puns are little 'plays on words' that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look...
DAVE BARRY
There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his ...
DAVE BARRY
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winte...
DAVE BARRY