The only things you can truly love after such a short time are ice cream flavors and comfortable shoes.

'My Fair Godmother's' movie rights sold to the producer who did 'Freaky Friday,' 'Princess Diaries,' and one of my favorite movies - 'Sky High.'

One of us will just have to stay at the cottage to keep an eye on her.' [...]
Let's see if Widow Hazel wouldn't take her in during the day, maybe teach her something useful -'
No, remember when she learned how to knit? Now we're stuck wearing these dreadful hats.'
Not so loud! She'll hear you.'
In a lower voice one of the dwarfs said, 'H.A.T.S.'
Apparently Snow White didn't know how to knit or to spell.

Let me guess - you're Grumpy?'
He let out a humpf. ' And you would be too, if you'd just spent the last hour searching the forest for your wayward charge.' He walked even faster. 'We tell you to stay inside, we tell you not to talk to strangers. But oh no, you must be out singing to the animals as if the birds didn't do a fine enough job of it. And this after Queen Neferia has already tried to kill you thrice. [...] Which is why you are not to go shopping anymore, no matter how pretty the wares, remember?'
Oh, right.'
[...] when you looked at it that way, Snow White had to be pretty idiotic to keep falling for the same trick.

Don’t worry, though, because Prince Hubert is very handsome and kind. That’s all you wanted in a boyfriend, wasn’t it?”

“No,” I said.

She raised an eyebrow. “It must be. If you had admired any other qualities you would have developed them in yourself, wouldn’t you?”

Which was really too much. I put my hands on my hips. “Aren’t fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, you’re confusing fairy god- mothers with sales clerks.

Madame Bellwings, Memoir Elf Coordinator, was not at all pleased with this request, because elves who write the memoirs of teenage girls have the habit of returning to the magical realm with atrocious grammar. They can't seem to shake the phrases "watever" and "no way," and they insert the word like into so many sentences that the other elves start slapping them...and for no apparent reason occasionally call out the name Edward Cullen.