The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,<br />It isn't just one of your holiday games;<br />You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter<br />When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.<br />First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,<br />Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,<br />Such as Victor or Jonathan, or George or Bill Bailey -<br />All of them sensible everyday names.<br />There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,<br />Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:<br />Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter -<br />But all of them sensible everyday names.<br />But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,<br />A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,<br />Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,<br />Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?<br />Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,<br />Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,<br />Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum -<br />Names that never belong to more than one cat.<br />But above and beyond there's still one name left over,<br />And that is the name that you never will guess;<br />The name that no human research can discover -<br />But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.<br />When you notice a cat in profound meditation,<br />The reason, I tell you, is always the same:<br />His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation<br />Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:<br />His ineffable effable<br />Effanineffable<br />Deep and inscrutable singular Name.