The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

I'm more surprised than anyone that 'Spamalot's done so well. You can never predict what's going to be a hit.

John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it.

To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best.

I listen to the audience and try and bounce with them. All audiences are different. But they are all homo sapiens.

I love being an older comic now. It's like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You're in the Hall of Fame and it's nice, but you're no longer that person in the limelight on the spot doing that thing.