The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

When you make a blame sandwich, you gotta be prepared to eat it yourself.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Hutchison's Law:
Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.