The irony is of course that my career has lasted a whole lot longer than some of the people I've parodied over the years.


Al Yankovic

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It's very special having a new little girl.
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It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have to be seen to be believed.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou...
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I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ...
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I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.
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The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t...
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To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Grief is the price we pay for love.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
These wretched babies don't come until they are ready.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I don't know if it's my music, my lyrics, my sound, and knowing the music business the way I...
BARRY WHITE
I swear Kim Kardashian's first marriage lasted longer than some of my iPhone chargers.
LILLY SINGH
We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want...
PRINCE WILLIAM
Family is the most important thing in the world.
PRINCESS DIANA
You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ...
CATHERINE THE GREAT
With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you...
KATE MIDDLETON
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
KING SOLOMON
I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ...
ZARA PHILLIPS
My dad's not a big talker.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My dad can be pretty critical sometimes.
ZARA PHILLIPS
I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment.
ZARA PHILLIPS
You cannot make horses 'safe.'
ZARA PHILLIPS
Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha...
ZARA PHILLIPS
It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I'm an affectionate person.
ZARA PHILLIPS
People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me...
ZARA PHILLIPS
Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au...
ZARA PHILLIPS
Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I don't think about the media.
ZARA PHILLIPS
I love the sport and being competitive.
ZARA PHILLIPS
The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I hate having my picture taken.
ZARA PHILLIPS
Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real...
ZARA PHILLIPS
The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha...
ZARA PHILLIPS
In our sport you're very lucky to find a horse of a lifetime and I found mine relatively early. ...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I don't have a stylist, and I do most of my shopping online, just because it's easier. I don...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I think Facebook's dangerous. So many people I know get into trouble with Facebook... I'd ra...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one.
ZARA PHILLIPS
Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs.
KING JAMES I
My dear mamma is quite right when she says that we must lay down principles and not depart from them...
MARIE ANTOINETTE
I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascina...
WALLIS SIMPSON
PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' bea...
WALLIS SIMPSON
I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the w...
WALLIS SIMPSON
I hate this place. I shall hate it to my grave.
WALLIS SIMPSON
I look a hundred and weigh 110 - you won't love me when you see the wreck England has made me.
WALLIS SIMPSON
A woman's life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compe...
WALLIS SIMPSON
Never explain, never complain.
WALLIS SIMPSON
You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance.
WALLIS SIMPSON
I have always had the courage for the new things that life sometimes offers.
WALLIS SIMPSON
For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat.
WALLIS SIMPSON
Forgive me for not writing but this man is exhausting.
WALLIS SIMPSON
You can never be too rich or too thin.
WALLIS SIMPSON
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
KING SOLOMON
It seems to me that man is made to act rather than to know: the principles of things escape our most...
FREDERICK THE GREAT
Addiction is a hugely complex and destructive disease, and its impact can be simply devastating. All...
KATE MIDDLETON
There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.
MARIE ANTOINETTE
I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all.
MARIE ANTOINETTE
I think change needs to be egoless. It's not about my leaving my fingerprints or a legacy. It...
QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN
We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist.
QUEEN VICTORIA
I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman.
KING JAMES I
I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse.
CHARLES V
I feel very, very lucky that George has got a little sister.
KATE MIDDLETON
It would be doing me great injustice to think that I have any feeling of indifference to my country;...
MARIE ANTOINETTE
I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.
AUGUSTUS
A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in.
FREDERICK THE GREAT
Nothing is more useless in developing a nation's economy than a gun, and nothing blocks the road...
HUSSEIN OF JORDAN
It is necessary to try to pass one's self always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.
QUEEN CHRISTINA
There's nothing like a jolly good disaster to get people to start doing something.
PRINCE CHARLES
We shouldn't judge people through the prism of our own stereotypes.
QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN
I don't even know how to use a parking meter, let alone a phone box.
PRINCESS DIANA
What must it be like for a little boy to read that daddy never loved mummy?
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The kindness and affection from the public have carried me through some of the most difficult period...
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Whenever I do a parody it's not meant to make you hate anybody's music really.
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I never set out to beat the world. I just set out to do my absolute best.
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It was like a tidal wave went through the city.
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I never had technique.
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Every time you lose that pre-soak, the danger increases. It's the race to fish.
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It broke down this year, with both sides not able to agree, and so we went into our usual free-for-a...
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That's fine if you keep playing this record over and over. It is going to be a very strong spring. T...
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It's going to continue to make realtors very happy. I haven't seen any unhappy people in that indust...
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Even though it's not the biggest property, it's getting in excess of $300 a night for a room. That's...
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That's Fry. She settled down and came through for us.
AL NORTHINGTON
We just had to play smart in the fourth quarter. Our girls showed a lot of heart and a lot of grit.
AL NORTHINGTON
We didn't finish in that game. Tonight we finished.
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We made some mental mistakes, but we're still so young, and that's going to happen. Our four freshme...
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I'm so proud of these kids. It's a wonderful feeling to see these kids progress. This is a win for t...
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The president believes very strongly that this is going to have a major, major impact on economic gr...
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The recovery will be paid for by the federal taxpayer and it will add to the deficit.
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It's coming from the American taxpayer.
AL HUBBARD
The last thing in the world we need to do is raise taxes and retard economic growth.
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Poverty is a lagging indicator. It is sort of the last ratio that declines with an expanding economy...
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The president is totally committed to Social Security reform.
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Maybe people thought of us as a running team. Or a three-point shooting team. A no-contact team. We'...
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Maybe we don't look like we're tough guys, but the bottom line is we get the job done. I know, Villa...
AL HORFORD
It's great to see your son doing his job on the court. But it was no surprise.
AL HORFORD
There was not much we could do (last season) because it wasn't our team. It was frustrating at times...
AL HORFORD
We're so anxious for the game to get here.
AL HORFORD
We lost most of our scoring (from a year ago). But we knew we were going to come out here and make t...
AL HORFORD
You always dreamed about getting to this point. It is big in my mind. I'm pretty excited about it.
AL HORFORD
You could just see it in their eyes. That's when we go for the kill.
AL HORFORD
I am feeling a lot better; I'm taking care of myself drinking a lot of fluids and stuff. So I feel p...
AL HORFORD
They were leaving the wrong guy open. When you leave Lee, he's going to make you pay for it.
AL HORFORD
[He could belt out traditional blues and jazz with the best of them, but -- to the dismay of jazz pu...
AL HIRT
I don't know, ... I do not know.
AL HIRT
I've been glued to the TV. I am absolutely devastated.
AL HIRT
The New Orleans I knew is gone, ... It's never going to come back. I'm just grateful I had my years ...
AL HIRT
When Buddy played, he played all out, all the time. It was a wonder he didn't keel over and die befo...
AL HIRT
Rich could play way better than Krupa.
AL HIRT
Old Sharkey had a fat sound, man. He could blow like wild fire and when he played, I am telling you,...
AL HIRT
I always smoked cigars. I've smoked cigars with everybody in show business.
AL HIRT
A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I never had any specific style.
AL HIRT
You always feel the drawing you are working on is the best you've ever done... I am only interested ...
AL HIRSCHFELD
We arrived at Penn Station, took the Amsterdam Avenue street car to the end of the line. There was a...
AL HIRSCHFELD
You always feel the drawing you are working on is the best you've ever done, ... I am only intereste...
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When I was about fourteen, my mother took me to see a musical comedy-and that was my first experienc...
AL HIRSCHFELD
Life isn't a science. We make it up as we go.
AL HIRSCHFELD
Artists are just children who refuse to put down their crayons.
AL HIRSCHFELD
$250,000 isn't a lot, but it is enough to make a statement. We are looking for projects that will be...
AL HENRY
I'm proud of our team. We great leadership from our four seniors - Peter Jerome, Josh Trottier, Alex...
AL HENRY
Give credit where credit is due. Fargo South is a machine.
AL HENRY
This is an OK way to end it. As far as I'm concerned, our team is the winner.
AL HENRY
I know the feds give us the same amount of money, as does the state, as does the county. But there's...
AL HARTKOPF
A traffic signal costs a lot more than $25,000. What can you say? They're getting off cheap.
AL HARTKOPF
I knew it was going to end up badly.
AL HARTKOPF
If it causes a little bit of difficulty for us, it just does.
AL HARTKOPF
I have very mixed feelings on it. I totally get where the commissioners are coming from. I see the p...
AL HARTKOPF
Would've, could've, should've. The bottom line is we didn't do it.
AL HARRIS
It wasn't him. It was us. We did it. We weren't afraid of Randy. We hurt our damn selves. On that se...
AL HARRIS
I wish him the best of luck. Of course, I want to win the game.
AL HARRIS
I don't think they were attacking me. I think they were going to their guy.
AL HARRIS
They have some serious weapons. We're going to have our hands full on Sunday.
AL HARRIS
He was with Detroit. I'm pretty sure we have some film on him. But it's no secret what they do.
AL HARRIS
You've got to watch yourself.
AL HARRIS
Bad! We needed it to pick ourselves back up.
AL HARRIS
It's not going to get any easier for us. I mean, the schedule only gets tougher. We've got to find a...
AL HARRIS
[In the end, not even the magic of No. 4, combined with the solid play of a young defense that seeme...
AL HARRIS
We could not put the ball in the hole, but the biggest thing is we did not get any stops defensively...
AL HARRINGTON
When someone is scoring like that, everybody else isn't involved. When they do shoot, they're ice co...
AL HARRINGTON
I'm sure he is from everything I hear, but I've got to wait until that happens.
AL HARRINGTON
When you're a bad team, you don't get any benefit-of-the-doubt calls. You see it on TV, the media kn...
AL HARRINGTON
It's been a long time coming.
AL HARRINGTON
I don't think you guys realize sometimes how connected we really are in that locker room. We are a f...
AL HARRINGTON
I got the call when I was getting into my car. I can't (pretend); I cried like a baby. I cried as so...
AL HARRINGTON
That's nonsense, and it's not fair to Coach and not fair to Jason. Jason never complained about anyt...
AL HARRINGTON
It's almost funny before you realize how sad it is. You want to try and tell somebody how to brace f...
AL HARRINGTON
Believe it or not, when it left my hand, it felt good.
AL HARRINGTON
It helps us determine which candidate might be the right match for Blue Valley Middle School.
AL HANNA
We are looking for a well-qualified, experienced administrator.
AL HANNA
He already knows a great deal about us and our operations. We think he will work well with staff and...
AL HANNA
Scott was very well-qualified for this position. We feel like he will just hit the ground running.
AL HANNA
This is a very tough loss for us. We felt like we had the game, but I have to give them credit. They...
AL HAMMELL
We'll really get into the fundamentals. It's something we hope to build on each year.
AL HAMMELL
I was impressed by how well our players interacted.
AL HAMMELL
It's about getting the younger players excited about baseball. We'll look forward to doing it each y...
AL HAMMELL
It was a great clinic for the first year.
AL HAMMELL
We had our players helping out with instruction.
AL HAMMELL
It's just something I've been doing for 10 years.
AL HAMMELL
We had about a total of over 50 kids this year.
AL HAMMELL
I think it is a very, very prestigious award for Story County. It shows that we are truly energy eff...
AL HAHN
If we don't go any further than we are right now, it is an extreme award for Story County.
AL HAHN
It is wonderful to be able to imagine a building system of this magnitude and then have it work at t...
AL HAHN
It goes to show that the first year wasn't a fluke.
AL HAHN
Our defense was just fantastic as it has been all year. It has been the backbone of our team all yea...
AL GUTHMAN
Our kids play hard and when you play hard, you don't notice people in the gym.
AL GUTHMAN
We've had their number the last two years, but you have different players on both teams. We'll have ...
AL GUTHMAN
We wore them down. It was a matter of our conditioning and our kids stepped up and hit their free th...
AL GUTHMAN
Our last message at halftime was something that we had said early in training camp. We just reminded...
AL GROH
When he comes back, it's going to be like picking up a free agent at midseason. We'll try to get him...
AL GROH
When he comes back, it's going to be like picking up a free agent at midseason. We'll try to get him...
AL GROH
That means you're not going to cover those guys because if you start covering the short guys in zone...
AL GROH
Certainly the period of rehab would indicate that. Sometimes, these sprains of ankles and feet take ...
AL GROH
Certainly the period of rehab would indicate that, ... Sometimes, these sprains of ankles and feet t...
AL GROH
He's probably come on a little fast, ... That probably was the pleasant surprise of it.
AL GROH
We just kind of kept grinding. I was pleased with that: that idea about being a grinder and not gett...
AL GROH
They keep grinding and grinding until it has a cumulative effect on the opposition. It tends to wear...
AL GROH
His whole game has progressed. It probably would be unfair to Emmanuel to say that it's one thing or...
AL GROH
It's not going to be a six-month situation. We have to prepare for the duration.
AL GREEN
GM is operating in an intensely competitive global environment and reaching this tentative agreement...
AL GREEN
This is a ministry that has been given to me.
AL GREEN
Texas was settled by people who were willing to fence in their property and protect it. We take seri...
AL GREEN
It's you I want, but it's Him that I need.
AL GREEN
There's a lot of churches that hide their dirty laundry under the rug, and I know about that from be...
AL GREEN
People still come up to me and ask me to sign their records. That's right, records! Man, they don't ...
AL GREEN
I'm thankful for every moment.
AL GREEN
Some times in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.But, if we are wise, we know that ther...
AL GREEN
This agreement recognizes the contributions our employees make and at the same time allows GM of Can...
AL GREEN
This year, each game, we want to go out and give our best. Our goal right now is to finish in the up...
AL GRAY
There's a freshman who Aaron has taken under his wing. He's done an excellent job with him, teaching...
AL GRAY
If you look at the returning marquee kids in the league ... [they] are tailbacks. A couple of years ...
AL BAGNOLI
We've got a chance to be a decent defense. We're not there yet.
AL BAGNOLI
Any time you get a different color jersey, it's beneficial and it also give you an idea of where you...
AL BAGNOLI
He is really a talented kid. We're still pretty young on the defensive side of the ball, and he prov...
AL BAGNOLI
We were trying to replace some very talented kids. He was trying to replace the player of the year, ...
AL BAGNOLI
You never know. I don't want to take anything away from Harvard. On that day they were obviously the...
AL BAGNOLI
We're cautiously optimistic. We think we're going to have a lot of skill on this team, but we have s...
AL BAGNOLI
Kyle was a remarkable young man, a true scholar-athlete, an ambassador for Penn, a tremendous teamma...
AL BAGNOLI
He'll do more in terms of the development end, the fundraising end, the facilities end of it. He'll ...
AL BAGNOLI
What the final product is going to be, I can't tell you. I can tell you he's hitting the ball well. ...
AL AVILA
He's got room to fill out. He's a strong kid, he's just lean.
AL AVILA
He knows the strike zone, makes a lot of contact and doesn't swing at bad pitches. He has a lot of g...
AL AVILA
His development has come along real well. He's made good strides defensively. His hitting, though, i...
AL AVILA
If he continues to do what he's doing and continues to progress, there's no reason that midway in th...
AL AVILA
You do the best you can to make the transition as easy as possible. It doesn't guarantee that a kid ...
AL AVILA
We feel confident that the Tampa Bay area and our community can produce a successful Republican conv...
AL AUSTIN
You can't win the presidency if you don't carry Florida. That gives us a leg up.
AL AUSTIN
We lost out by a flip of the coin. This time that's not going to happen.
AL AUSTIN
They are deserving of any type of honor they receive. I think it's fantastic. Their teams are family...
AL AUSTIN
They've become real Americans. They fit right into the mainstream.
AL AUSTIN