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The irony is of course that my career has lasted a whole lot longer than some of the people I've parodied over the years.


Al Yankovic

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I don't know if I have a favorite color.
KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl.
KATE MIDDLETON It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Grief is the price we pay for love.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II These wretched babies don't come until they are ready.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II I don't know if it's my music, my lyrics, my sound, and knowing the music business the way I...
BARRY WHITE I swear Kim Kardashian's first marriage lasted longer than some of my iPhone chargers.
LILLY SINGH We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want...
PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world.
PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ...
CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you...
KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th...
ZARA PHILLIPS I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor...
ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ...
ZARA PHILLIPS My dad's not a big talker.
ZARA PHILLIPS My dad can be pretty critical sometimes.
ZARA PHILLIPS I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment.
ZARA PHILLIPS You cannot make horses 'safe.'
ZARA PHILLIPS Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha...
ZARA PHILLIPS It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu...
ZARA PHILLIPS I'm an affectionate person.
ZARA PHILLIPS People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me...
ZARA PHILLIPS Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au...
ZARA PHILLIPS Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about.
ZARA PHILLIPS My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that...
ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think about the media.
ZARA PHILLIPS I love the sport and being competitive.
ZARA PHILLIPS The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ...
ZARA PHILLIPS I hate having my picture taken.
ZARA PHILLIPS Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows.
ZARA PHILLIPS My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real...
ZARA PHILLIPS The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha...
ZARA PHILLIPS In our sport you're very lucky to find a horse of a lifetime and I found mine relatively early. ...
ZARA PHILLIPS I don't have a stylist, and I do most of my shopping online, just because it's easier. I don...
ZARA PHILLIPS I think Facebook's dangerous. So many people I know get into trouble with Facebook... I'd ra...
ZARA PHILLIPS I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one.
ZARA PHILLIPS Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs.
KING JAMES I My dear mamma is quite right when she says that we must lay down principles and not depart from them...
MARIE ANTOINETTE I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascina...
WALLIS SIMPSON PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' bea...
WALLIS SIMPSON I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the w...
WALLIS SIMPSON I hate this place. I shall hate it to my grave.
WALLIS SIMPSON I look a hundred and weigh 110 - you won't love me when you see the wreck England has made me.
WALLIS SIMPSON A woman's life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compe...
WALLIS SIMPSON Never explain, never complain.
WALLIS SIMPSON You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance.
WALLIS SIMPSON I have always had the courage for the new things that life sometimes offers.
WALLIS SIMPSON For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat.
WALLIS SIMPSON Forgive me for not writing but this man is exhausting.
WALLIS SIMPSON You can never be too rich or too thin.
WALLIS SIMPSON A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
KING SOLOMON It seems to me that man is made to act rather than to know: the principles of things escape our most...
FREDERICK THE GREAT Addiction is a hugely complex and destructive disease, and its impact can be simply devastating. All...
KATE MIDDLETON There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.
MARIE ANTOINETTE I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all.
MARIE ANTOINETTE I think change needs to be egoless. It's not about my leaving my fingerprints or a legacy. It...
QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist.
QUEEN VICTORIA I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman.
KING JAMES I I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse.
CHARLES V I feel very, very lucky that George has got a little sister.
KATE MIDDLETON It would be doing me great injustice to think that I have any feeling of indifference to my country;...
MARIE ANTOINETTE I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.
AUGUSTUS A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in.
FREDERICK THE GREAT Nothing is more useless in developing a nation's economy than a gun, and nothing blocks the road...
HUSSEIN OF JORDAN It is necessary to try to pass one's self always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.
QUEEN CHRISTINA There's nothing like a jolly good disaster to get people to start doing something.
PRINCE CHARLES We shouldn't judge people through the prism of our own stereotypes.
QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN I don't even know how to use a parking meter, let alone a phone box.
PRINCESS DIANA What must it be like for a little boy to read that daddy never loved mummy?
PRINCESS DIANA The kindness and affection from the public have carried me through some of the most difficult period...
PRINCESS DIANA

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AL YANKOVIC At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go p...
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AL YANKOVIC I'm an ugly girl,
My face makes you hurl,
Sad I have it,
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AL YANKOVIC I've learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.
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AL YANKOVIC Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you'll be watching TV, and it...
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AL YANKOVIC I have a long-standing history of respecting artists' wishes.
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AL YANKOVIC Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that's not me.
AL YANKOVIC My personal taste doesn't enter into it a lot when I make my decisions as to what to parody.
AL YANKOVIC People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'
AL YANKOVIC Whenever I do a parody it's not meant to make you hate anybody's music really.
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AL YANKOVIC As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits...
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AL YANKOVIC As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living...
AL YANKOVIC You fake something until you're good at it.
AL YANKOVIC There aren't that many superstars around anymore.
AL YANKOVIC So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of wh...
AL YANKOVIC At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' w...
AL YANKOVIC One of the hardest things I've had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even...
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AL-HASAN AL-BASRI I have always been fascinated with those who try to look over the horizon and see things that are co...
AL GORE A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
AL GORE Before I get out of bed, I am saying thank you. I know how important it is to be thankful.
AL JARREAU You can't change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything ...
AL FRANKEN Love is a deception and a trap. Love is as big a myth that God sits with his flowing white beard in ...
AL GOLDSTEIN My family and I reside on a non-working farm, although we have a couple of horses and the usual stuf...
AL JARDINE People who are overweight don't want unsolicited advice. Guess what. We know we're fat. We l...
AL ROKER During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.
AL GORE The entire North Polar ice cap is disappearing before our very eyes. It's been the size of the c...
AL GORE My spiritual life is... sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don't. When I do have acce...
AL FRANKEN We have defeated Jim Crow, but now we have to deal with his son, James Crow Jr., esquire.
AL SHARPTON I could have easily been a statistic. Growing up in Brooklyn, N.Y., it was easy - a little too easy ...
AL SHARPTON The dream was not to put one black family in the White House, the dream was to make everything equal...
AL SHARPTON To exercise at or near capacity is the best way I know of reaching a true introspective state. If yo...
AL OERTER I never set out to beat the world. I just set out to do my absolute best.
AL OERTER It was like a tidal wave went through the city.
AL OERTER It has to be the '80 Olympic hockey team.
AL OERTER I never had technique.
AL OERTER I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at eac...
AL OERTER We're not anti-police... we're anti-police brutality.
AL SHARPTON Deanna is a great pitcher, one of the best pitchers in the state. She does not get enough recognitio...
AL PEACOCK I learned years ago you can shape your own destiny if you do get involved. There have always been a ...
AL PAZAR There's a lot of overcapacity in the fishery that will need to be addressed. Probably that won't be ...
AL PAZAR Every time you lose that pre-soak, the danger increases. It's the race to fish.
AL PAZAR Newport stuck its neck out and did the heavy lifting. Some of the other ports resent us for that. Th...
AL PAZAR It broke down this year, with both sides not able to agree, and so we went into our usual free-for-a...
AL PAZAR That's fine if you keep playing this record over and over. It is going to be a very strong spring. T...
AL PARISH It's going to continue to make realtors very happy. I haven't seen any unhappy people in that indust...
AL PARISH Even though it's not the biggest property, it's getting in excess of $300 a night for a room. That's...
AL PARISH It doesn't mean that everybody's condo went up 37 percent. It means they built more expensive condos...
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AL NUGENT CA's acquisition of Wily Technology will further help our customers unify and simplify their increas...
AL NUGENT CA's acquisition of Wily Technology will further help our customers unify and simplify their increas...
AL NUGENT CA's acquisition of Wily Technology will further help our customers unify and simplify their increas...
AL NUGENT That's Fry. She settled down and came through for us.
AL NORTHINGTON We just had to play smart in the fourth quarter. Our girls showed a lot of heart and a lot of grit.
AL NORTHINGTON We didn't finish in that game. Tonight we finished.
AL NORTHINGTON We made some mental mistakes, but we're still so young, and that's going to happen. Our four freshme...
AL NORTHINGTON I'm so proud of these kids. It's a wonderful feeling to see these kids progress. This is a win for t...
AL NORTHINGTON The president believes very strongly that this is going to have a major, major impact on economic gr...
AL HUBBARD The recovery will be paid for by the federal taxpayer and it will add to the deficit.
AL HUBBARD It's coming from the American taxpayer.
AL HUBBARD The last thing in the world we need to do is raise taxes and retard economic growth.
AL HUBBARD Poverty is a lagging indicator. It is sort of the last ratio that declines with an expanding economy...
AL HUBBARD The president is totally committed to Social Security reform.
AL HUBBARD Maybe people thought of us as a running team. Or a three-point shooting team. A no-contact team. We'...
AL HORFORD Maybe we don't look like we're tough guys, but the bottom line is we get the job done. I know, Villa...
AL HORFORD It's great to see your son doing his job on the court. But it was no surprise.
AL HORFORD There was not much we could do (last season) because it wasn't our team. It was frustrating at times...
AL HORFORD We're so anxious for the game to get here.
AL HORFORD We lost most of our scoring (from a year ago). But we knew we were going to come out here and make t...
AL HORFORD You always dreamed about getting to this point. It is big in my mind. I'm pretty excited about it.
AL HORFORD You could just see it in their eyes. That's when we go for the kill.
AL HORFORD I am feeling a lot better; I'm taking care of myself drinking a lot of fluids and stuff. So I feel p...
AL HORFORD They were leaving the wrong guy open. When you leave Lee, he's going to make you pay for it.
AL HORFORD [He could belt out traditional blues and jazz with the best of them, but -- to the dismay of jazz pu...
AL HIRT I don't know, ... I do not know.
AL HIRT I've been glued to the TV. I am absolutely devastated.
AL HIRT The New Orleans I knew is gone, ... It's never going to come back. I'm just grateful I had my years ...
AL HIRT When Buddy played, he played all out, all the time. It was a wonder he didn't keel over and die befo...
AL HIRT Rich could play way better than Krupa.
AL HIRT Old Sharkey had a fat sound, man. He could blow like wild fire and when he played, I am telling you,...
AL HIRT I always smoked cigars. I've smoked cigars with everybody in show business.
AL HIRT A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I never had any specific style.
AL HIRT You always feel the drawing you are working on is the best you've ever done... I am only interested ...
AL HIRSCHFELD We arrived at Penn Station, took the Amsterdam Avenue street car to the end of the line. There was a...
AL HIRSCHFELD You always feel the drawing you are working on is the best you've ever done, ... I am only intereste...
AL HIRSCHFELD When I was about fourteen, my mother took me to see a musical comedy-and that was my first experienc...
AL HIRSCHFELD Life isn't a science. We make it up as we go.
AL HIRSCHFELD Artists are just children who refuse to put down their crayons.
AL HIRSCHFELD $250,000 isn't a lot, but it is enough to make a statement. We are looking for projects that will be...
AL HENRY I'm proud of our team. We great leadership from our four seniors - Peter Jerome, Josh Trottier, Alex...
AL HENRY Give credit where credit is due. Fargo South is a machine.
AL HENRY This is an OK way to end it. As far as I'm concerned, our team is the winner.
AL HENRY I know the feds give us the same amount of money, as does the state, as does the county. But there's...
AL HARTKOPF A traffic signal costs a lot more than $25,000. What can you say? They're getting off cheap.
AL HARTKOPF I knew it was going to end up badly.
AL HARTKOPF If it causes a little bit of difficulty for us, it just does.
AL HARTKOPF I have very mixed feelings on it. I totally get where the commissioners are coming from. I see the p...
AL HARTKOPF Would've, could've, should've. The bottom line is we didn't do it.
AL HARRIS It wasn't him. It was us. We did it. We weren't afraid of Randy. We hurt our damn selves. On that se...
AL HARRIS I wish him the best of luck. Of course, I want to win the game.
AL HARRIS I don't think they were attacking me. I think they were going to their guy.
AL HARRIS They have some serious weapons. We're going to have our hands full on Sunday.
AL HARRIS He was with Detroit. I'm pretty sure we have some film on him. But it's no secret what they do.
AL HARRIS You've got to watch yourself.
AL HARRIS Bad! We needed it to pick ourselves back up.
AL HARRIS It's not going to get any easier for us. I mean, the schedule only gets tougher. We've got to find a...
AL HARRIS [In the end, not even the magic of No. 4, combined with the solid play of a young defense that seeme...
AL HARRIS We could not put the ball in the hole, but the biggest thing is we did not get any stops defensively...
AL HARRINGTON When someone is scoring like that, everybody else isn't involved. When they do shoot, they're ice co...
AL HARRINGTON I'm sure he is from everything I hear, but I've got to wait until that happens.
AL HARRINGTON When you're a bad team, you don't get any benefit-of-the-doubt calls. You see it on TV, the media kn...
AL HARRINGTON It's been a long time coming.
AL HARRINGTON I don't think you guys realize sometimes how connected we really are in that locker room. We are a f...
AL HARRINGTON I got the call when I was getting into my car. I can't (pretend); I cried like a baby. I cried as so...
AL HARRINGTON That's nonsense, and it's not fair to Coach and not fair to Jason. Jason never complained about anyt...
AL HARRINGTON It's almost funny before you realize how sad it is. You want to try and tell somebody how to brace f...
AL HARRINGTON Believe it or not, when it left my hand, it felt good.
AL HARRINGTON It helps us determine which candidate might be the right match for Blue Valley Middle School.
AL HANNA We are looking for a well-qualified, experienced administrator.
AL HANNA He already knows a great deal about us and our operations. We think he will work well with staff and...
AL HANNA Scott was very well-qualified for this position. We feel like he will just hit the ground running.
AL HANNA This is a very tough loss for us. We felt like we had the game, but I have to give them credit. They...
AL HAMMELL We'll really get into the fundamentals. It's something we hope to build on each year.
AL HAMMELL I was impressed by how well our players interacted.
AL HAMMELL It's about getting the younger players excited about baseball. We'll look forward to doing it each y...
AL HAMMELL It was a great clinic for the first year.
AL HAMMELL We had our players helping out with instruction.
AL HAMMELL It's just something I've been doing for 10 years.
AL HAMMELL We had about a total of over 50 kids this year.
AL HAMMELL I think it is a very, very prestigious award for Story County. It shows that we are truly energy eff...
AL HAHN If we don't go any further than we are right now, it is an extreme award for Story County.
AL HAHN It is wonderful to be able to imagine a building system of this magnitude and then have it work at t...
AL HAHN It goes to show that the first year wasn't a fluke.
AL HAHN Our defense was just fantastic as it has been all year. It has been the backbone of our team all yea...
AL GUTHMAN Our kids play hard and when you play hard, you don't notice people in the gym.
AL GUTHMAN We've had their number the last two years, but you have different players on both teams. We'll have ...
AL GUTHMAN We wore them down. It was a matter of our conditioning and our kids stepped up and hit their free th...
AL GUTHMAN Our last message at halftime was something that we had said early in training camp. We just reminded...
AL GROH When he comes back, it's going to be like picking up a free agent at midseason. We'll try to get him...
AL GROH When he comes back, it's going to be like picking up a free agent at midseason. We'll try to get him...
AL GROH That means you're not going to cover those guys because if you start covering the short guys in zone...
AL GROH Certainly the period of rehab would indicate that. Sometimes, these sprains of ankles and feet take ...
AL GROH Certainly the period of rehab would indicate that, ... Sometimes, these sprains of ankles and feet t...
AL GROH He's probably come on a little fast, ... That probably was the pleasant surprise of it.
AL GROH We just kind of kept grinding. I was pleased with that: that idea about being a grinder and not gett...
AL GROH They keep grinding and grinding until it has a cumulative effect on the opposition. It tends to wear...
AL GROH His whole game has progressed. It probably would be unfair to Emmanuel to say that it's one thing or...
AL GROH It's not going to be a six-month situation. We have to prepare for the duration.
AL GREEN GM is operating in an intensely competitive global environment and reaching this tentative agreement...
AL GREEN This is a ministry that has been given to me.
AL GREEN Texas was settled by people who were willing to fence in their property and protect it. We take seri...
AL GREEN It's you I want, but it's Him that I need.
AL GREEN There's a lot of churches that hide their dirty laundry under the rug, and I know about that from be...
AL GREEN People still come up to me and ask me to sign their records. That's right, records! Man, they don't ...
AL GREEN I'm thankful for every moment.
AL GREEN Some times in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.But, if we are wise, we know that ther...
AL GREEN This agreement recognizes the contributions our employees make and at the same time allows GM of Can...
AL GREEN This year, each game, we want to go out and give our best. Our goal right now is to finish in the up...
AL GRAY There's a freshman who Aaron has taken under his wing. He's done an excellent job with him, teaching...
AL GRAY If you look at the returning marquee kids in the league ... [they] are tailbacks. A couple of years ...
AL BAGNOLI We've got a chance to be a decent defense. We're not there yet.
AL BAGNOLI Any time you get a different color jersey, it's beneficial and it also give you an idea of where you...
AL BAGNOLI He is really a talented kid. We're still pretty young on the defensive side of the ball, and he prov...
AL BAGNOLI We were trying to replace some very talented kids. He was trying to replace the player of the year, ...
AL BAGNOLI You never know. I don't want to take anything away from Harvard. On that day they were obviously the...
AL BAGNOLI We're cautiously optimistic. We think we're going to have a lot of skill on this team, but we have s...
AL BAGNOLI Kyle was a remarkable young man, a true scholar-athlete, an ambassador for Penn, a tremendous teamma...
AL BAGNOLI He'll do more in terms of the development end, the fundraising end, the facilities end of it. He'll ...
AL BAGNOLI What the final product is going to be, I can't tell you. I can tell you he's hitting the ball well. ...
AL AVILA He's got room to fill out. He's a strong kid, he's just lean.
AL AVILA He knows the strike zone, makes a lot of contact and doesn't swing at bad pitches. He has a lot of g...
AL AVILA His development has come along real well. He's made good strides defensively. His hitting, though, i...
AL AVILA If he continues to do what he's doing and continues to progress, there's no reason that midway in th...
AL AVILA You do the best you can to make the transition as easy as possible. It doesn't guarantee that a kid ...
AL AVILA We feel confident that the Tampa Bay area and our community can produce a successful Republican conv...
AL AUSTIN You can't win the presidency if you don't carry Florida. That gives us a leg up.
AL AUSTIN We lost out by a flip of the coin. This time that's not going to happen.
AL AUSTIN They are deserving of any type of honor they receive. I think it's fantastic. Their teams are family...
AL AUSTIN They've become real Americans. They fit right into the mainstream.
AL AUSTIN