The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.

I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.