The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.

No 27-year-old has the experience to run a company that does a quarter of a billion dollars a year in sales.