The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, "I love children because they're so honest." There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child.


Bill Cosby

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A word to the wise ain't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice
BILL COSBY
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting ca...
BILL COSBY
It's more blessed to give than to receive -- especially kittens.
BILL COSBY
My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying "I love you." His love had to do with th...
BILL COSBY
The three ingredients of a successful union between two . . . humor, commitment & undying love.
BILL COSBY
It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful
BILL COSBY
People will frighten you about a graduation...They use words you don't hear often... "And we wish yo...
BILL COSBY
In dealing with kids, no matter how little we understand their explanations, we must always remember...
BILL COSBY
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wo...
BILL COSBY
Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an o...
BILL COSBY
The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will ...
BILL COSBY
Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an app...
BILL COSBY
The summit, which is set up to educate people about managing their money and protecting their income...
BILL COSBY
I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.
BILL COSBY
I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against...
BILL COSBY
I watch an awful lot of television, and I get a little tired of what I see... We have about six tele...
BILL COSBY
I never saw anything funny in a car commercial - but that's OK. Whatever they wanted to do - it&...
BILL COSBY
When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start t...
BILL COSBY
That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
BILL COSBY
I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!
BILL COSBY
A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.
BILL COSBY
And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.
BILL COSBY
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has dev...
BILL COSBY
In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a...
BILL COSBY
If you want to be seen, stand up.
If you want to be heard, speak up.
If you want to be app...
BILL COSBY
When in doubt, delete it.
PHILIP COSBY
You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.
ERIKA COSBY
They can be as angry as they want to. They ought to be ashamed. They're the ones that let a pedophil...
RITA COSBY
I was playing baseball but thinking about football. My heart wasn't in it.
QUAN COSBY
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you kno...
BILL MAHER
No one really wants to admit they are lonely, and it is never really addressed very much between fri...
BILL MURRAY
President Obama is a utopian at heart. He wants to improve the lives of the downtrodden, which is a ...
BILL O'REILLY
Since the time of St. Jerome, it was mandatory for any kind of scholar or thinker to spend time out ...
BILL VIOLA
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON