The A's are held to the standard of the Yankees in a funny kind of way. That if they don't win the World Series it is regarded as a failure.

Be what you would seem to be - or, if you'd like it put more simply - never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.

I know what you're thinking about, but it isn't so, nohow. Contrarywise, if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be. But, as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.

I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a deserter. What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants

And he's funny. He's disarmingly funny.

The worst thing is the dog hair, and the best thing is just knowing that he's back there.