The amount of tears shed over the sudden demise of Oklahoma football would fill a lens cap.

This would be like a mugger given two years for assault and spending 23 months at the beach because the prison was closed.

Now, 0 for 50 would be a historic achievement on any other team, but on the Cubs it is usually called September.

Wait 'til next century. No millennium can hold the Cubs. The Cubs are bound by nature to reaffirm the futile and confirm the inadequate.

There is nothing intrinsically uninteresting about skiing a little and shooting a little. This is the way liquor stores are robbed in Switzerland.

The hardest thing to believe about The Fan is not that Robert De Niro is stalking somebody again but that anyone cares that much about a baseball player.