That's easy," Russell said. "Because everybody else in this here place is crooked as a dog's hind leg. ...

[T]hat question is like asking what color Tuesday was. It’s meaningless.

T.V. has brought murder back into the home where it belongs.

Lydia, I couldn't figure you out with a four hundred page manual and a telephone help line.

I could see why she felt attracted to Sam K. Barrows. Birds of a feather, or rather lizards of a scale.

Yeah, sure. You know I can't stand the sight of blood, right?"
"Said no one ever while dating a vampire," he quipped
"Very clever. Ten points to Gryffindor.