I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
FRED ALLEN Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
FRED ALLEN Where were you fellows when the paper was blank?
FRED ALLEN A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
FRED ALLEN An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about t...
FRED ALLEN I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
FRED ALLEN All television is children's television.
FRED ALLEN If you took all the sincerity in Hollywood and put it in the navel of a fruit fly, you'd still have ...
FRED ALLEN I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
FRED ALLEN I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
FRED ALLEN When you get through all the phony tinsel of Hollywood, you find the genuine tinsel underneath.
FRED ALLEN A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide nothing can ...
FRED ALLEN Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.
FRED ALLEN A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to...
FRED ALLEN Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
FRED ALLEN A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses ...
FRED ALLEN Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done.
FRED ALLEN Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be ...
FRED ALLEN A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to...
FRED ALLEN You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room ...
FRED ALLEN Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
FRED ALLEN I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.
FRED ALLEN I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
FRED ALLEN My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
FRED ALLEN The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that h...
FRED ALLEN An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
FRED ALLEN I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
FRED ALLEN Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be...
FRED ALLEN It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive allianc...
FRED ALLEN An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
FRED ALLEN California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
FRED ALLEN Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
FRED ALLEN A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
FRED ALLEN Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
FRED ALLEN The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
FRED ALLEN The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
FRED ALLEN Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday an...
FRED ALLEN A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothin...
FRED ALLEN A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and ...
FRED ALLEN An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is abo...
FRED ALLEN The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
FRED ALLEN A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark g...
FRED ALLEN I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back...
FRED ALLEN An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
FRED ALLEN Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them a...
FRED ALLEN A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
FRED ALLEN After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
FRED ALLEN Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
FRED ALLEN Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
FRED ALLEN Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making...
FRED ALLEN Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
FRED ALLEN Do we really deserve top billing?
FRED ALLEN What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
FRED ALLEN An income tax form is like a laundry list -- either way you lose your shirt.
FRED ALLEN California is a great place to live if you're an orange.
FRED ALLEN If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
FRED ALLEN Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do a...
FRED ALLEN I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
FRED ALLEN My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
FRED ALLEN During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoyin...
FRED ALLEN I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
FRED ALLEN What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
FRED ALLEN I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a f...
FRED ALLEN California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
FRED ALLEN A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide t...
FRED ALLEN If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
FRED ALLEN We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to s...
FRED ALLEN Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare
FRED ALLEN A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on
FRED ALLEN A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing...
FRED ALLEN He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose
FRED ALLEN Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission
FRED ALLEN Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborne-sounds like a trunk falling down a flight of stairs.
FRED ALLEN There's good cops, but there's more bad cops than good cops around here.
FRED ALLEN We take nominations from the general public, and they go through a screening and voting, which has w...
FRED ALLEN Not every one of those lower-income taxpayers becomes a cost to a state-funded system.
FRED ALLEN A vice president in an advertising agency is a "molehill man" who has until 5 PM to make a molehill ...
FRED ALLEN I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how i...
FRED ALLEN Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
FRED ALLEN I had to come out one more time to take a look. I had a lot of fun and spent a lot of time out here....
FRED ALLEN During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoyin...
FRED ALLEN He's so small, he's a waste of skin
FRED ALLEN He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes
FRED ALLEN Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six stran...
FRED ALLEN All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten lau...
FRED ALLEN Television is the triumph of machine over people.
FRED ALLEN Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are so small that you...
FRED ALLEN Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
FRED ALLEN You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have roo...
FRED ALLEN You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have...
FRED ALLEN Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday an...
FRED ALLEN I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
FRED ALLEN Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six stran...
FRED A. ALLEN The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
FRED A. ALLEN The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
FRED A. ALLEN Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and a...
FRED A. ALLEN The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or...
FRED A. ALLEN I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and -- I can't remember what the third...
FRED A. ALLEN Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
FRED A. ALLEN A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk...
FRED A. ALLEN A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
FRED A. ALLEN An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
FRED A. ALLEN Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
FRED A. ALLEN It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive allianc...
FRED A. ALLEN Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
FRED A. ALLEN A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark g...
FRED A. ALLEN I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
FRED A. ALLEN Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
FRED A. ALLEN The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
FRED A. ALLEN Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday an...
FRED A. ALLEN Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
FRED A. ALLEN He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
FRED A. ALLEN I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
FRED A. ALLEN An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
FRED A. ALLEN I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
FRED A. ALLEN A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothin...
FRED A. ALLEN We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to s...
FRED A. ALLEN We're going to fight racism not with racism, but we're going to fight with solidarity. We sa...
FRED HAMPTON I would suggest maintaining a life and a career outside the Industry. This is a fickle business and ...
FRED SAVAGE I am the people, I'm not the pig. You got to make a distinction. And the people are going to hav...
FRED HAMPTON Investing in management means building communication systems, business processes, feedback, and rout...
FRED WILSON For those broadcasters who are less than responsible, the FCC needs to have sharper teeth to enforce...
FRED UPTON One of the first shows I ever did was 'Laverne & Shirley.' I played this sleazy guy that...
FRED WILLARD I can say I won a Senior British Open at Turnberry. I think that's the best thing about it, the ...
FRED COUPLES Ethereum has taken what was a four-function calculator of a programming language in Bitcoin and turn...
FRED EHRSAM You really have to understand this isn't a business where you sit in the back room and do calcul...
FRED DELUCA I'd love to have Burt Reynolds' career.
FRED WILLARD I've always been a fan of instructional videos. The bass-player ones are insane. The music on th...
FRED ARMISEN I left home at 17, traveled. I got married when I was 21. That's a young age. As it turned out, ...
FRED COUPLES I always loved comedy growing up - Bob Hope, Red Skelton and Danny Kaye.
FRED WILLARD I loved Bob Hope and the way he would turn to the camera and break the fourth wall.
FRED WILLARD The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap - a...
FRED FRIENDLY Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
FRED HOYLE There is a coherent plan to the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
FRED HOYLE Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.
FRED HOYLE I think my wife saw a picture of the rock group Journey, and they're kind of aging, and the one ...
FRED WILLARD It seems like such a terrible shame that innocent civilians have to get hurt in wars, otherwise comb...
FRED WOODWORTH New York's niche is content, and content is becoming more valuable. Just think about what is mor...
FRED WILSON I was really upset because I was branded as an enemy alien when I'm an American.
FRED KOREMATSU You have to realize that the customer really is king. People who go into more established businesses...
FRED DELUCA Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?
FRED STOLLER Government is an unnecessary evil. Human beings, when accustomed to taking responsibility for their ...
FRED WOODWORTH We're going to see a lot more young people entering entrepreneurial ventures.
FRED MALEK Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately suggests an inability to see...
FRED ROGERS When I say it's you I like, I'm talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than...
FRED ROGERS The very best reason parents are so special . . . is because we are the holders of a priceless gift,...
FRED ROGERS When you're prepared, you're more confident. When you have a strategy, you're more comfortable.
FRED COUPLES I'm like a duck: calm above the water, and paddling like hell underneath.
FRED SHERO I just put my feet in the air and move them around.
FRED ASTAIRE The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
FRED ASTAIRE Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
FRED ASTAIRE Happiness is a positive cash flow.
FRED ADLER A man who is contented with what he has done will never become famous for what he will do.
FRED ESTABROOK Boxing purists, quite naturally, question Tyson's appetite for victory. Mills Lane should have stopp...
FRED MITCHELL I don't want to be the oldest performer in captivity... I don't want to look like a little old man d...
FRED ASTAIRE The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of the...
FRED ASTAIRE Dancing is a sweat job.
FRED ASTAIRE Chance is the fool's name for Fate
FRED ASTAIRE I am bit sending messages with my feet. All I ever wanted was not to come up empty. I did it for the...
FRED ASTAIRE I'm just a hoofer with a spare set of tails
FRED ASTAIRE Disco is just jitterbug.
FRED ASTAIRE I am bit sending messages with my feet. All I ever wanted was not to come up empty. I did it for th...
FRED ASTAIRE This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes t...
FRED ASTAIRE The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
FRED ASTAIRE Anyone who does anything to help a child in his life is a hero to me.
FRED ROGERS Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. Whe...
FRED ROGERS After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.
FRED THOMPSON I suspect that writer's block afflicts mainly people who have some stable and ample source of in...
FRED SABERHAGEN Given the slow pace of Washington's bureaucracy, policymakers are often busy solving yesterday&#...
FRED UPTON The kind of audience that watches 'Matlock' is ideal for a lead-in to the affiliates' ne...
FRED SILVERMAN There are aspects of Asian culture in my work, but it's really rooted in an American experience ...
FRED TOMASELLI I didn't think that the government would go as far as to include American citizens to be interne...
FRED KOREMATSU I was an American citizen, and I had as many rights as anyone else.
FRED KOREMATSU As long as my record stands in federal court, any American citizen can be held in prison or concentr...
FRED KOREMATSU I am tolerably ignorant about Judaism, and much of what I do know about it seems hard to swallow, be...
FRED MELAMED Comedy always came easier for me. But I would have loved to have been an action hero.
FRED WILLARD It scared me to death to think about improv, but I got hired for a year at Second City in Chicago, w...
FRED WILLARD When you think about accountants, who would want to be an accountant? But, what would we do without ...
FRED WILLARD You know, you don't have to look like everybody else to be acceptable and to feel acceptable.
FRED ROGERS Tactics, fitness, stroke ability, adaptability, experience, and sportsmanship are all necessary for ...
FRED PERRY Before the war, my parents were very proud people. They'd always talk about Japan and also about...
FRED KOREMATSU New discoveries and production of resources like shale oil and gas are dramatically altering our ene...
FRED UPTON Everything would be alright if everything was put back in the hands of the people, and we're goi...
FRED HAMPTON Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is se...
FRED ROGERS Sometimes you have to, as I say, build bridges where you can - but draw lines where you must.
FRED THOMPSON If human beings are fundamentally good, no government is necessary; if they are fundamentally bad, a...
FRED WOODWORTH The problem is that agencies sometimes lose sight of common sense as they create regulations.
FRED THOMPSON Profit or perish... There are only two ways to make money: increase sales and decrease costs.
FRED DELUCA I was the King of Twinkie-Vision one day, the King of Jiggle TV the next, thanks to Farrah Fawcett a...
FRED SILVERMAN You can't build a revolution with no education. Jomo Kenyatta did this in Africa, and because th...
FRED HAMPTON I know the exploding cost of health care is at the root of our long-term fiscal challenges.
FRED UPTON Martin Landau in 'Crimes and Misdemeanors' - he gave me chills.
FRED WILLARD We say primarily that the priority of this struggle is class. That Marx and Lenin and Che Guevara an...
FRED HAMPTON I think Kellie Martin, Reese Witherspoon and Claire Danes represent the future for women in film, an...
FRED SAVAGE In the end, we may be hurting the very people we should be concerned about - the inner-city poor, th...
FRED THOMPSON Cleveland is my hometown, and the Indians have a narrow but rich history.
FRED WILLARD Someone I've always admired is Catherine O'Hara... I think she's one of the best actress...
FRED WILLARD Venture capital is about capturing the value between the startup phase and the public company phase.
FRED WILSON I don't want to be the oldest performer in captivity... I don't want to look like a little o...
FRED ASTAIRE Our work on light bulbs wasn't an arbitrary mandate. We didn't just pick a standard out of t...
FRED UPTON