...teaching is, after all, a form of show business.

The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."

[Had acting come up empty for him,] I'd be teaching history at a prep school, ... And that's still my backup plan.

Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.

No man can be a good teacher unless he has feelings of warm affection toward his pupils and a genuine desire to impart to them what he believes to be of value.

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.