Strangers were a fairytale full of
possibilities not yet corrupted by reality while caregivers were the reality – and everything that couldn't be counted upon.

I had an attachment disorder.

What cannot be communicated to the [m]other cannot be communicated to the self.

Try not to seek after the true
Only cease to cherish opinions. (172)

The key to finding a mate who can fulfill those needs is to first fully acknowledge your need for intimacy, availability, and security in a relationship - and to believe that they are legitimate. They aren't good or bad, they are simply your needs. Don't let people make you feel guilty for acting "needy" or dependent." Don't be ashamed of feeling incomplete when you're not in a relationship, or for wanting to be close to your partner and to depend on him.

More than one personality was created in the hope of being the daughter Nancy could consistently love. More than one new personality was created in response to Mother's unexpected fury.