Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.