So I said, “Goddammit,” and hugged it out with the both of them, because feelings.

If Sam were a tree, you know what kind of tree he’d be?”
“What kind?”
“A pine. Because of all the pining.

Okay, time in. I can yell at whoever I want!”
“You really can’t,” Gary said. “It’s unattractive on you. Some people pull off the angry look. You’re not one of them.

AND HE was just so amazing,” I said as I braided Gary’s hair. “Like so selfless and awesome and he smelled like leaves and I think his eyebrows should be declared a treasure of the Kingdom.

You went full-on bitchy and made a dramatic exit?” He sounded way too gleeful over my histrionics. “I have taught you well, my young apprentice.

It’ll be the Date to End All Dates,” I told Gary as he nosed his way through my closet. “And yes, before you ask, it is capitalized just like it sounds. Great plans should always be capitalized.