Sickness is a bitch, but death is the real whore.

Laugh, and the world will join in; cry and whine, and that same world will tell you to shut the hell up!!!

Humor graces our spirit, and deadly, inappropriate seriousness makes us tiresome sourpusses.

When life tries to get you down, you just start walking a little faster.

"Life is like a permanent limp dick, with an occassional blow job" [When told by Phil that life is like a permanent cloudy day, with an occassional sunshine]

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.