She liked it dark when her soul felt black

The twins, Taylor and Tyler, threw confetti in my face, music began to blare, and then I saw the worst thing I'd ever seen in my life: Trenton in a man thong, covered in about ten pounds of body glitter. He had on a cheap, yellow wig, and Cami was laughing her head off, cheering him on.

Hey," Trenton said, breathless and sweaty.

He pulled a few yellow strands of fake hair from his face.

"Did you lose a bet?" I asked.
"As a matter of fact, I did."

Taylor and Tyler were across the room, slapping their knees and laughing so hard they could barely breathe.

I slapped Trenton's ass. "You look hot, bro."

"Thanks," he said. The music started and he shook his hips at me. I pushed him away, and, undeterred, he danced across the room to entertain the crowd.

I can't win with you. I can't win with you! You say you're done...I'm fucking miserable over here! I had to break my phone into a million pieces to keep from calling you every minute of the damn day--I've had to play it off like everything is just fine at school so you can be happy...and you're fucking mad at me? You broke my fuckin' heart!

Yeah?... Oh, hell no, I got Pidge here with me. We're just gettin' ready to go to bed... Shut the fuck up, Trent, that's not funny... Seriously? What's he doin' in town" He looked at me and sigued. "All right. We'll be there in half an hour... You heard me, douchebag. Because I don't go anywhere without her, that's why. Do you want me to pound your face when I get there?" Travis hung up and shook his head. I raised an eyebrow. "That is the weirdest conversation I've ever heard.

Jesus, Shep. I told you . . .”
“I know what you said. You have eighteen missed calls.”
“All Trent?”
“One is from Panty Wearers Anonymous.