Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

I honestly believe that people of my generation despise authenticity, mostly because they're all so envious of it.

If I knew I was going to die at a specific moment in the future, it would be nice to be able to control what song I was listening to; this is why I always bring my iPod on airplanes.

...because people who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation. It's a way for people to be honest without telling the truth.

I care about strangers when they're abstractions, but I feel almost nothing when they're literally in front of me.

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.