Roses are reddish/ Violets are bluish/ If it weren't for Christmas/ We'd all be Jewish.

I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: "Oh well," and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Do unto others, then run.

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.

I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

Arthur.