Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway!

A joke is a very serious thing.

We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.

It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.