Rory's not my pet dog!' I [Amy] yelled at the Doctor.
'Well, that would be better.' He was truly angry. 'Dogs I can live with.' He paused, suddenly hopeful. 'Quite sure you're not a cat person?'
'This isn't getting him back,' I said.
He pulled a face. 'Who said I wanted him back? I was just suggesting a few alternatives. Nice little ginger tom. Have to get it neutered, of course.' He smiled winningly. 'I'd let you name him.'
'We'll find Rory.' I was firm. 'And then neuter him.

Well, what do you want me to say?' The Doctor was so angry he was almost hovering. 'Well done on marrying the only male nurse not to have a full set of Barbara Streisand records? Why did you pick him, anyway? Were there no flight attendants in your village?'
'Only Jeff,' [Amy replied].
'Ah.'...
'I picked Rory, always Rory, because he is just like you,' I [Amy] yelled at him. 'He is sweet and understanding and funny and he always tries to do the right thing. Plus you both run the same way.'
'We do not.'
'Do so.

You see, there's a drill:
1. I [Amy] will say 'Right then, let's go and rescue him [Rory].'
2. The Doctor will say 'Ah yes, but...'
3. And then he'll list the fourteen things that we have to do before we resuce Rory
4. And why they're all more important than rescuing Rory
5. The list normally includes wounded puppies
6. An exploding bus full of grannies
7. You know what I mean
8. So we'll go and do those instead
9. Cos they're all so important
10. And Rory has to come last.

Really, awfully, terribly, I had a sudden attack of hiccups. I was staring at the Doctor, murderously angry with him. And hiccuping...
'That's it. I'm going down there. I'm offering myself to them instead. If you're too much of a coward.'
The Doctor winced at that last word.
I hiccuped again.
'Amy Pond,' he said. 'Try holding your breath.'
'I will not hold my breath! This is important! Rory is having his mind vacuumed and we're just standing here-'
'Hiccuping.'
'Yes.'
We stood, glaring at each other. I hiccuped again.
'Seriously,' said the Doctor, patiently. 'I know it's not the best time, but really, try holding your breath.'
I stood there. Hiccuping and scowling at him.

Maria looked at the TARDIS... 'Is that really your carriage?' She asked. 'It is not very good, monsieur. It has no wheels.'
'It doesn't need them,' laughed Amy. 'It's an English carriage. They don't have wheels.
'Does Monsieur Rory push it?'
'When necessary,' laughed Amy.

Don't get me started on the whole Doctor-Amy-Rory thing. It's kind of like... I dunno. Suppose you'd always fancied Ryan Reynolds. That's fine, yeah. You meet someone else, who is maybe not Ryan Reynolds, but perhaps he's got the same goofy smile. And you think, 'Yeah, that's it, I'm happy.' Then Ryan Reynolds himself roars up in a camper van and says 'Hey guys! Let's all go on a road trip. Bring the boyfriend! It'll be fun.' Only Ryan Reynolds doesn't save the universe. Well, not at weekends.
So I guess that's my life. Crammed in a camper van, sneaking the odd glance at Ryan, squeezing the hand of my lovely husband...